Summery: It's the battle of the Bannons
Category: I, H, ML
Rating:PG, Just to be safe.
Feedback:YES!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!
Archivers: Take it! Just tell us first.
Disclaimer:
Jubilee: Um guys...Kara and I have to tell you something. You know all those
great
characters in our fic? Well, They aren't ours.
::Gasps all around.::
Kara: Yeah. I know. Some people named HB own them. Sorry.
Someone: What about all this money I was going to give you?
Jubilee: Go spend it on yourself when we're done.
::Insert loud cheers.::
In other words: We don't own em. We're not making any money. Don't sue us.
We're
poor.

The Real Madness of Jonny Quest part 2: The Battle of the Bannons  (1/1)
by Jubilee and Kara

Jessie: Jonny! HELP!!!
Jonny: I'm not saving you, you wussie I have to go and help Race, even though
he doesn't REALLY need it.
Jessie: But JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNYYYYYY
Jubilee: FREEZE. I'm Agent Jubilee and this is my partner, Agent Kara. We are
here, because frankly, you all suck. We are here to make this more
entertaining and exciting, by bringing back...
Kara: Ugh-uh ::leans over and nudges Jubilee, and whispers:: Umm...who
exactly are we bringing back??
Jubilee: Season 1, remember? Better Animation, Better clothing, Not offensive
to girls like us who don't need men to kick bad guy butt for us?
Kara: Oh yeah! My bad! :: leans back over and faces the dumbfounded quest
team:: N-E ways, were here to remove some bad animation and writing!
Jessie: Um guys....I'm still hanging off the edge of a cliff here.
Jubilee and Kara: SHUT UP!
Jessie: oooookkkkkkkaaaaay
Kara: That's better. N-E ways your all under arrest!
Jubilee: Especially you, Jonny. We all have the right to act stupid, but
you've just gone above and beyond the limits.
Kara: That's right! And for you Mr. Womanizer-wanna be-macho man named Race,
your coming with us to battle your worst enemy.
Race: :: cracks knuckles:: and who would that be.
Kara: Him :: points to a better animated and much cuter Race from S1::
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Jubilee: Jessie, you're clothing is pathetic. We've brought back your S!
Counterpart. Not only is she better dressed, smarter, stronger and prettier,
but she has a tattoo too!
S2Jessie:NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kara: :: nudges Jubilee:: Umm... Hun, when did she get a tattoo, you know if
S1 Race hears that remark were dead!
S1 Race: TATTOO??!!
Jubilee: Calm down, Race. It's a fake. :: Leans over to Kara, whispering.::
She got it 2 weeks ago with Estella. And yes it's real. Good quality, too.
Kara: Ohh... :: loudly:: Are you sure its a fake?
Jubilee: Oh, it's real. We know that. :: Looks over at Race who's admiring
his daughter's tattoo's realisticness.:: He doesn't.
 Kara: Oh I see. WHOA WAIT A MINUTE! Someone needs to get S1 Race off of the
cliffs before he releases his daughter is hanging
Jubilee: RACE!!!! Jade needs your help for a sec!!!!
S2 Race: :: steps out:: where?
Kara: Wrong Race, deary. Umm...Southern fried Race, Bennett needs you to calm
Surd down again!
S1 Race: FUR ON A CATFISH
Jubilee:Oops! MY BAD!!!! You mean the NON pimp Race. Ok. I got it now.
S2 Race: I'm not a pimp!!! I'm a connoisseur of women.
Kara and Jubilee: Whatever.
S1 Race: FUR ON A CATFISH, wait a second, does a catfish have fur?
Hmm...BENTON!
S1 and S2 Benton: Yes Race
S1 Race: Do catfish have fur?
S1 and S2 Benton: Hmm... No. They have gills.
S1 Race: Hmm...thanks. Gills on a catfish, you mean twinny over here is a
womanizer and he looks like me and says he is me. Than that means, HE WORKS
FOR ZEN!
Jubilee: :: brightens:: THAT'S RIGHT RACE!! You'll just have to kill him now.
S1 Race: Just let me throw a barrel at em! Let me throw a barrel at ya'll.
Kara: HE'S GONE MAD!
S2 Race: It's ok. I understand that you're upset because you don't have as
many women as me...
S1 Race: EXCUSE ME!
::The two start to compare lists.::
Kara: ::To Jubilee:: This could be a while.
Jessie: Umm...guys, I'm still hanging here, Anybody, hellooo?!
Jubilee, Kara, Race 1 and 2: SHUDDUUPPP
Jubilee:HEY! I know! Let's screw with S2 Jonny's mind!!!!
Kara: WAHOOO :: gets taser out and aims for Jonny's head::
Jubilee: Umm Kara, I didn't mean it that way but not too shabby though.
Jubilee: But Kar, if you touch Hadji, I'll kill you and make David
marry...Pamela Anderson-Lee.
Kara: ::screams in horror::
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
::Runs and grabs Hadji and places him in Jubs arms:: There you are Princess.
Just leave my Mulder-baby alone!
Jessie: Um you two can I please come up.
Kara: Nah, how bout down. :: goes over and steps on her fingers:: oops.
Jubilee: KARA!!!!! You can't do that!!! ::Helps S2 Jessie up. She's
hysterical crying. Jubilee wipes off her hand on her jeans:: It's S1 Jessie
vs. S2 Jessie, Not Kara vs. S2 Jessie!
Kara: Humph. Its not my fault she was getting annoying and on my nerves! So
where is S1 Jessie By the way?
 Jubilee: over there demonstrating Karate holds on Milosh. What can I say?
She's an Equal Opportunity Butt kicker.
Kara: umm who introduced her to Milosh
Jubilee: He tried to come on to her. He deserved it. I mean, the guys like
30, and she's 16. Give me a BREAK!
 Kara: Okay fine. Just as long as we can pull her away long enough to kill,
oops, I mean :: clears throat while saying:: hurt her counter part
Jubilee: We'll tie Milosh up and let her use him as a punching bag after.
Jessie: Um excuse me guys but could someone pull me up off of this BLOODY
cliff!
Jubilee: But Jessie! You almost have the record!
Jessie: I do. Of what?
Kara: Of whining and you hold the national record of wearing pink the
longest.
Jubilee: Do we really want her to have a record? I mean, we're trying to
ERASE all trace of her.
Kara: No. Oh, Jessie!
Jessie: What?
Kara: :: nudges at Jubilee to put on her shades:: Look this way and we'll
take your picture. Wait for the flash.
::does the MEN IN BLACK thingy::
Jubilee: Now, Kick Ass Jessie, See that girl? The one hanging of the cliff?
She's a really crappy clone of you. You have to save up from her sissy wussie
girl act. So you accept the challenge?
Jessie*1*: You got it. First let me take off these new sandals daddy just
bought me. Their Doc Martins. Isn't he the best. That two timing womanizer
jerk of a father.
Jubilee: :: Whispers to Kara:: She just came back from Estella's, huh?
Kara: Yup and Daddy dearest is trying to buy his way out of this one. With
$200 dollar sandals
 Jubilee: Speaking of Daddy, are they still comparing lists?
Kara: :: looks over:: yup. Shall we work our little CBI magic.
*CBI Cartoon Berea of Investigation*
Jubilee: Nah. We still have to introduce Jonny to their dads.
Kara: Um...where is that on the list?
Jubilee: Which list?
Kara: The list you gave me that has the agenda on it. DUH.
Jubilee: I didn't give you a list.
Kara: Ooh. ::looks at list:: oops. I think this is Surds grocery list
Jubilee: :: shakes her head:: N-E-Way....Hey check it out! S1 Jessie's
kicking S2 Jessie's butt!
S2 Jessie: JONNNNYYYYYY! HELP!!!!!!!
Kara: Heh-heh Surd wears always save brand depends.
Jubilee: ::snicker:: ::Glances over at the Jessies.:: OWWIES!!!!!! That HAS
to hurt!
Kara: EW he needs Ben-gay. :: gets whacked on the head:: OUCH WHY DIDJA DO
THAT FOR?!
Jubilee: LOOK!!!!!! S1's kicking S2's Butt! Ow! I didn't know the human body
could bend that way!
Kara: It can't.
Jubilee: Ow....
Kara: JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY. Ouch that chair will never be the same
again
::Steve comes and breaks the two up::
Kara: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jerry Springer: Next up, we'll hear from 40 men who claim to be Jessie's
father.
Jubilee: Jer...Hon...It's 3.
Kara :: nudges her:: I played around and hired some strippers to make things
interesting
Jubilee: KARA!!!!!!! It's 3, right? The two Races and Antonio, the god of
Archeology, right?
Kara: Hey had to have some fun here. 3, I don't know. It's not here on the
list, oops wrong list, unless you need always save depends or Bengay
Jubilee: Umm....no.
 Kara: :: starts rolling on the ground:: Always save brand.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Jubilee: :: shudders:: that was more than I needed to know.
Kara: I wonder if the metal on his wheel chair would rust if his depends
leak.
Jubilee: I don't know, lets ask Dr. Quest.
Kara: Dr. Quest?
Dr Quests (1+2): No girls. It would take months for it to rust.
Kara: Than would it cause an electrical fire in it if he did have a little
leakage problem?
Dr's Quest.: Yes, It could.
Kara: Than why buy the always save brand?
Jubilee: He's cheap?
Kara: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA poor Bengay Company. They have a spokesmodel in a
rust bucket
Jubilee: Kar...Don't GO there. Besides he already works for Always! You know
that!
Kara: EW ::Gets chair thrown at:: well the two redheaded bimbos are at it
again.
Jubilee: :: perks up:: That's always fun! Wow!! S2 Jessie's actually fighting
back!
Kara: No kidding. Whoa Race is now in the chair fight
Jubilee: Which one?
Kara: I cant tell
Jubilee: That's helpful.
 Kara: DUCK!
Race: Dontcha touch my normal daughter.
Race: At least mines feminine
Race: So is mine
Race: Mine's feminine. She's just not a sissy wussie girl.
 Race: Well, mine depends on her Daddy, instead on the Men at the strip joint
Race: You little... ::Jumps him::
Race: Why you little :: curthump::
Kara: Wow Jessie number 2 can really throw a chair at the wrong directions.
Jubilee: ::snort:: OW! ::cringes:: I think we have a winner.
 Kara: Which one?
Jubilee: S1. Was there any doubt?
Kara: Oh yeah, :: gets hit with a chair and is knocked out::
Jubilee: THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!! ::Jumps in and starts to beat the crap out of
both Races::
 Race: Pansy. Jessie did it
Jubilee: Don't care. :: knocks him out:: You guys were beginning to piss me
off.
David Duchovany: UM, Jubilee should I give her mouth to mouth?
Jubilee: Yeah. She'll love it.
Race: :: motions other Race:: Now's our chance to get away.
Jubilee: Not. Southern fried Race? He called Jessie a cheap wussie girl!
Race :: grabs chair:: I'll flatten you like Arkansas road kill
Jubilee: :: cringes again.:: OW. OWWWWW!!!!!! That had to sting!!!!
Kara: Hmm ::glomps on David:: DAVID!
Race: Okay I didn't want to resort to this but you buddy just pissed me off.
Jubilee: Which Race was that?
 Kara: :: groggily:: I think by the accent and the word Pissed Season 1
Jubilee: Oh. Ok. Kick his Butt, S1!!!!!!
Kara: Gets cheerleading outfit on:: LETS GO RACE LETS GO!
Jubilee: Umm Kara your starting to scare me!
Jessie S2: OOOOHHHHH! Cheerleading! Can I cheer too??!
Jubilee: ::sighs and whacks her upside the head with a chair. Jessie's now
unconcious.:: That's better.
Nicole: ::steps in from the land of Springfield:: Gawd Kara, I think that
Chair totally messed up your head. REMEMBER you hate Cheerleading?
Kara: Oh yeah. ::Takes outfit off and throws it at the unconscious Jessie::
here you are babe! Knock yourself out
Jubilee: I think I took care of that. :: looks over at the Race's:: Ow!! S1
Race, that looked like it was really painful! Did you have to do that?
S1 Race: Yes.
Jubilee: Ok. Just making sure.
Kara: Hey Race you should join the WCW
Jubilee: He's just the next Stone Cold, isn't he?
Kara: Yes.
********************************************
20 hours later...

::S1 Race and S2 Race are lying on their backs, their hands flopping towards
one another. Finally, S2 collapses.::
Jubilee:KARA!!!! Wake up!!!!! I think we have a winner!!!!!!!
Kara: But mommy I don't want to wear the pink frilly dress to homecoming.
WHAT WHAT what's going on?
Jubilee: Kara!!!! S1 Race won!!!!!!
Kara: Whoa. And look, it looks like S1 Jessie is still alive too. WAY COOL!
YOU OWE ME 50 DOLLARS!!!!! I WON THE BET!
Jubilee: Yeah, Lance!!!! I want my money, too!!!!!
Kara: We're rich We're rich!
Furby: Ah Walo, me Coko, Slammen!
Kara: See what happens when Kara plays with Furby!
Jubilee: Kara, :: shakes her head::
********************************************
ANY-Way...Ok. So S1 won, like there was any doubt, and we will actually be
getting quality JQ shows with us MLers writing them. We now take you back to
our regularly scheduled fanfic, with slight improvements.
********************************************
::Jessie's hanging off the cliff again::
Jessie: Get back right now Jonny. I can do it by myself.

::Jessie pulls herself up and faces off with Julia. She then continues to
beat the crap out of Julia.::

Jubilee: Isn't it nice to know we have our quality Jonny Quest back?
Kara: Umm...Jubilee, did you switch the characters around again?
Jubilee: Um....::whistles innocently::