The ML Weekly News Edition #001
Thursday, October 18, 2001. Editor-in-chief: The KodeMaster
LATELY BREAKING NEWS:
For the first time in its unrecorded history, MLerville now has its very own newspaper! While maybe it is not exactly written on paper-- in fact, it is on the sides of cardboard boxes from a local pizza delivery store-- it still has yet to be decided just what its response at-large will be.
At its grand opening ceremony, the paper's creator, founder, editor, and everything in-between, the KodeMaster, announced brazenly from his pulpit, "It is an honor to be a part of this!" before searching for the ribbon to cut the sizzors for the next five minutes, then realizing he had them the wrong way around.
After this minor obstacle, the ribbon was cut, and a bottle of what was supposed to red sherry hit the front window of The ML Weekly News building. Sadly, it went straight the glass, and a massive repair bill had to be paid by its shareholders.
The bottle of wine was found to contain six litres of Jolt Cola. Several observers at the event have reportedly gone mad from this horrific revelation.
Whether this will affect future operations remains to be seen, although permission to all local libraries has been given to archive editions of it for proprietry.
Hopefully, that measure will compensate for the unexpected mishap.When Debbie Kluge decided to post the sixth chapter of "Sipahigiri" last Sunday, it was met with interest and a great deal of excitement.
"It's bad," lamented one MLer after reading it, "that people can torment us day and night like this and get away with it." She adds with a grin, "But that's probably 'OK' since we do it as well."
Seemingly, as if in answer to that observation, a cry then came from the shadows of, "I say, Blinky, I think they've BOT IT!" before a red-faced AndrAIa promptly delurked to relurk, taking the two sprites with her through the portal.
Yet another member exclaimed, "The Zin Dynasty Shall Rise Again!" before being herded off by the men in white coats to Arkham Asylum.
Onlookers regarded this scene curiously before lobbying that the Asylum not have jurisdicition over members from the JQML, stating that if they continued, the population of MLerville would decrease by well over two thirds overnight.
The application is currently being processed.In some news slightly more off-yet-not-so-off topic, Ina-chan, THE woman not to be trifled with, gained victory over a plaguerist early this week.
The articles which outraged her cannot be reproduced here due to infringements with copyright, copyleft and copymiddle laws.
Apparently, let us just say that a certain someone was using her material without her permission. That someone has now been blacklisted on the majority of CCS lists.
And with that, they all lived happily everafter.
EDITOR'S COLUMN:
In a rather strange yet unmistakenly familiar event, it appears as if the KodeMaster has once again forgotten to mention something: Archiver
permission for his latest fic, which he posted last Friday.
Yes, folks, it is true. He has forgotten to mention what is one of the highest priorities for a fic: Distribution Information. Without it, a fic is dead. This realization came one day after it was posted.
In a press conference held the next day, The KodeMaster announced outside Mav's Fish and Chips, "Everyone, you have my permission." He then adds hastily, "To archive it, not delete it."
This was before the meeting had to be called off when it started to rain cats and dogs. Four people were injured in the downpour, and someone's pet budgie was killed when a falling cat landed on it and ate it for breakfast.
Unfortunately, the owner of the budgie could not be contacted because he or she was on a holiday in nearby LurkerLand. Whoever that may be is advised to contact the nearest mediator immediately, if not sooner.
Insurance companies are already calling the downpour an Act of God.
WEATHER:
Expected top of 25 degrees hotius before a drop to 70 degrees coolius in the late afternoon due to a rather freakish southerly buster coming from some place near the equator.
Plans are currently underway to seperate the two hemispheres of the planet with a thermo-nuclear triple-warhead so something like that will not happen again.
Currently, Ezekiel Rage is the expected engineer and resident-physicist to be in charge of the operation. When asked how he would accomplish this feat, he told reporters, "We just blow up the world with this thingy of mine here. Oh, and don't ask me how it works, it just does."
Later, he was reported to have said, "But don't quote me on that."
QUOTES NOT OF THE MOMENT:
"Stuff happens." -- said by a construction worker after he inadvertantly caused a building to collapse mere seconds after it had been completed.
"Momma's very angry..." -- from "The Lost World", when in reality, Jeff Goldblum had been talking about someone who was standing to the side of the film set with a rolling pin in her hand.
