Disclaimer: Don't own em, don't sue me, you know how it goes.
 

If Jonny were a Jedi…

 He'd have a little pony tail at the back of his mop of blonde hair
(it would look pretty stupid, don't you think)

 He'd have to kill Benton (Yersssss!  Love to see that…)  (I'm not a
Benton basher, I'd just love to see it.)

 He'd use a hoverboard instead of a landcruiser (why did I put that
in, it's not funny)

 Bandit would be green and have a creaky voice and speak
expediential crap

 In that case expediential Hadji would be out of a job and would
have to get a job at the Quickie Mart in the Simpsons or something.  No,
wait, he'd get a part on Friends, being Ross's love life advisor

 Jonny'd hear Ben Kenobi say "May the Force Be With You" and then
say "Slammin'!" wrecking the whole moment

 He'd constantly crash his fighter ship, and as a result, would
never have coped in A New Hope, the Death Star would never have been
destroyed

 He'd have to have Jessie as his sister (like Leia/Luke type setup)
and the whole HR thing wouldn't work anymore.  No, wait, Luke made out with
his own sister in Empire didn't he?  Oh well, it would work then

 Eww.  His own sister?

 Hadji would get fired from Friends because he speaks too much
(serious) sense

 Race would be the Jedi Master.  Hee hee.  He'd have to be calm when
Jonny broke a starship, never run anywhere, dye his hair a sensible colour,
and…oh joy, not go with so many women

 Han Solo would NEVER let Jonny drive the Falcon, even if as
Luke/Jonny says "it's a pile of junk"

 "That's no moon.  That's a space station."  "Slammin'!"

 Hadji could be Han!  No wait, that wouldn't work either.
Hadji/Han: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good
yogaman on your side, kid.  No wait, that is a hokey religion.  No, wait,
what does hokey mean again?

 Jessie/Leia: Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my
way?  Hadji/Wookie: Sorry.
Now there's something that works for him.  (Sorry, I didn't mean to be so…
mean… to Hadji, it just happened.)

 Darth/Benton sips some coffee: The beans are strong in this one.
(Okay, I know that's SO lame, but I couldn't think of anything else.)

 Actually, Jonny could have crashed into the target point on the
Death Star to destroy it, but then Jonny wouldn't be alive to go through
Empire and Jedi

 This says it all – "May the bleach be with you.  Always."
(Otherwise you'll have roots, Jonny, and that ain't a good look, baybe.)
 

Email me if you liked that.  Tell me for what reason and I'll write another
one to please you.  Is it the fact I used Star Wars, or what?  Or, on the
other hand, did you hate it?  Was it because of that really BAD one - the
Benton/Darth coffee thing?  Tell me; tell me, I wanna know!  Thanks for
reading.
 

Cara
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For Passion And Jonny Quest