Author: Jessica Brady

Disclaimer: I wrote the verse, but the people be not mine.

Rating: pg-13 for suggestion

Note: Nothing about Hadji in this one. Don't be so surprised. I'm not TOTALLY
obsessed.

"Your eyes are like the... glow... of the computer screen as it is booting
up..." Dr. Benton Quest read over what he had just composed and slapped
himself in the face. Jonny was in a creative writing class (God only knew how
that came to be) and asked his father to give him example of some poetry he
had written. Certainly world-famous scientist and all-around genius Quest
could write a fool poem! But as he sat in his chair, he found himself at a
loss. Iris couldn't help, what kind of example would that be helping? Dr.
Quest wouldn't give up. He relaxed and tried again.

In the morning light
I see your face
It's like the face of a person who looks like you
But it's not
I know it's you
Because I have your fingerprints.

And the sad thing was, that was the best thing he'd written all that morning.
Being the 'sentimental' he was, Dr. Quest sat down, covered his head in his
arms, and cried like a baby.

Race was sittind outside fantising about Mia Farrow and heard the noise. He
ran up the lighthouse flight, only to sigh in disgust at the weeping Dr.
Quest. As the Doc looked up, Race told him what he thought of him.

My dear Doctor Quest
You should lie down and take a rest
Obviously the strain has taken toll,
and you have gone berserk

Jonny can do his homework lone
Right now he's talking on the phone!
He has no respect for you
Unless he wants something back, that jerk!

Poetry is not your reign
it's to abstract for your brain
You should go back to equations
and work to save the race

It you want to write a lyric,
try something stratospheric
Poetry is a graceful art,
and frankly not your place.

Benton looked up and in reply gasped out

There is something I can't do?
Don't make such a sin
I can be graceful, too
Just ask Dr. Zin

If my Jonny wants my help
Then By golly I'll give it
Even if he's as mindless as a kelp
He's got a happy spirit

And who are you to point the blame?
and say I'm a literary slaughter
You'd do anything by name
For your precious daughter

Race shook his fist

You leave Jessie out of this
You freakish boon, you little miss
You may be a shooting star,
But yo momma twice the man you are

Dr. Quest stood up

You say that I'm a draggish-queen?
You certainly have a streak that's mean!
You're the one when the accent change
You molting parrot, you dog with mange!

Race retorts:

My accent may be like chemelion
But at least I have a hair color real, and
Is it red? Or is it brown, Rut
and you've got such a big butt

(Dr. Quest is obviously very self-consious about this feature)

My butt is large? Your brain is small!
Though my poetry off-the-wall,
At least it has integrity,
which be more than can be said for thee!

Race and Dr. Quest circle each other, seeing who will make the first punch

I am the one without shame?
What of the room under your name?
Yes, I keep tabs on all your bills
And you buy underwear with frills!

Benton is abvoiusly wary about fighting his bodyguard, but it is tough when he
is waving a recept for the Holiday Inn in your face. He decided not to touch
the underwear issue.

I've never slept at that motel
Though that insult was really swell
You know, Quest is a common name
I know one other with the same

And if I remember right,
Jessie and Jonny were out that night
Jonny was probably pushed through the doors
By that sleazy daughter yours!

This was it for Race. He lept into the air, and sucker-punched Quest right in
the gut. When he had him pinned,

My Jessie is a perfect soul!
She fits right into the heroine role
If you ever say anything of her last,
You're going to need a body cast!

Dr. Quest struggled to speak

Do I hear this southern moan?
Alright, I leave your daughter alone
If you would get off of me,
I'd let this subject drop, you'd see!

Dr. Benton Quest breathed deeply in relief as Race Bannon rolled off him.

"I suppose you're right, I should let Jonny do his own thing. I'll never be
good at poetry."

Race turned on his way out. "Hair on a catfish."

The End of Life as We Know it

PS: I think Dr. Quest would do well in therapy. He has superority issues.