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Lina Jadali: You say it like it’s a potentially good thing.
Jadali: She had a fiendish plot in mind. You see, she’d been saving up all her commas and other forms of punctuation for years on end. That’s why she doesn’t use them now.
She listened in to what was going on threw her scouter.
Jadali: Is this a comma hoarding sentence or just a poor choice of words? Elspeth: *shrugs* Jadali: Oh, you showed up after all. *happy dance* Elspeth: *sweatdrop* Quit that. And you’re the one who nagged me to.
She almost fell asleep when king Cold bellowed for her to come forth. She smirked and stood up and flew out of the ship.
Jadali: I thought "Lina" was supposed to be a Saiyan. Or if you’re a fanatical otaku who insists on using (most of the time incorrect) Japanese terms for everything, Saiya-jin. And Since when can Saiyans breathe in outer space? Elspeth: You can’t breathe in outer space. There’s nothing to breathe. Jadali: Then how come Ice-jin can do it? Elspeth: Dunno. And I don’t know about the rest of you, but if someone bellowed at me, I wouldn’t be "nearly falling asleep."
Jadali: But he’s the boss and he bellowed. It’s not like she’s got much of a choice in the matter.
"Who said I’m going to help you?" Lina said. She looked at the boy who was obviously a Say-jin, a Super Say-jin to be exact. He looked at her.
Jadali: …And then he sprung from his seat and devoured her head, realising she was probably just a fragment of the author trying to give herself (I’m assuming) some sort of personality. Elspeth: And what the flipping heck is a "Say-jin"? People, if you’re going to bastardise the language of an elegant culture, at least know what you’re bastardising.
Jadali: Kill. Interesting name for a child. And Oh My Eris! She’s going to hurl the punctuation! DUCK AND COVER! Elspeth: *sweatdrop*
She looked to the Boy. "I’ll take care of King Cold you just take care of Freeza." She said. He looked at her oddly but then her power level shot right up and she too went Super Say-jin. He smirked and went after Freeza.
Jadali: …Enter Cousin Angrily. And it’d be nice if there was some pre-emptor to this amazing transformation to Super Saiyan. Doesn’t it usually require strength and anger and a lot of other things one could not achieve if one was in Cold’s service? He wouldn’t let anyone get that strong to begin with, that’s why Frieza killed off the Saiyans in the first place – Elspeth: You’re rambling, dear. And it’s not necessarily Super Saiyan – this is Super Say-jin. Completely different thing.
Jadali: ‘Us Say-jin’s’ what, exactly? Elspeth: Well, if a Say-jin is anything like a Saiyan, maybe they smell bad.
She flew at him and pounded the living crud out of him. Then with one little blast she killed him. She smiled and looked at the Lavender hared boy who just finished Freeza.
Jadali: OME! She’s corrupting poor innocent Trunks! Elspeth: Not to mention the poor scene-setting. And how would she know Trunks was a Super Saiyan if he didn’t transform? Jadali: Remember, these are Say-jins, not Saiyans. Maybe there’s a different Trunks.
Elspeth: At the risk of repeating what’s been said above, his friend’s what?
He motioned for her to follow him. "You mind waiting for Goku to arrive?" He said.
Jadali: Alrighty, you know damn well by now that I hate seeing words repeated too much. I think ‘said’ just topped the list. It’s like ‘replied,’ but without the amusing make-your-own-background-dialogue factor.
Elspeth: No, dear. The one they call Bambi.
"Yeah that would be him."
Jadali: Whoa, back up a bit. If this is even a debased version of poor widdle Twunks, wouldn’t someone as wary as he is be thinking something like; ‘Wow, I just saw a complete stranger display a legendary power attributed to a select few of a race that has been all but obliterated. I should probably ask who she is, what she’s doing and why, and I sure as hell shouldn’t leave her alone.’ Elspeth: Yeah. What she said.
She forgot her scouter worked as well but it wasn’t on. He took off and she turned and flew into the ship and set it for self-destruct. She loaded the bodies inside and smiled. "Good by forever." She said to King cold and Freeza.
Jadali: It was her favourite perfume, and she’d always meant to recommend it to the Ice-jins. However, Frieza seemed to favour the more venomous scent of Evil, by forever.
She watched it blow up and then she destroyed all that was left of the rubble.
Elspeth: If she’s a Super Saiyan, wouldn’t it be far more effective for her to just blow it up herself in the first place? Jadali: Tut tut tut. Say-jin. Not Saiyan.
"Never again…" She said. She had lost track of time and saw a streaking light of a familiar space pod. "That must be the one named Kakerot." She said She flew that way and landed next to the creator the purple hared boy looked at her and nodded.
Jadali: Um, what exactly did Trunks create? Elspeth: Space pods, apparently.
She looked at the others and spotted Vijeta of all people. "Damn it what is he doing here?" She muttered. She noticed a Young boy staring at her.
Jadali: Ooh, be careful of the Young-jin. Elspeth: The way she’s spelling Vegeta is hurting my head… Jadali: Don’t worry, dear. It’s probably just a typo. Godknows there’s enough of them here anyway.
Jadali: Maybe I’ve just been indulging in too much Trigun, but do these sound like crappy Gung-Ho Guns names to you as well? Elspeth: I think "Bulma the Woman" is the pick of the bunch. Imagine Midvalley trying to explain that one to Legato… Jadali: And when you think about it, it looks like Vegeta picked her gang name. And I’m not touching the spelling in that with a telegraph pole.
She Knew Vijeta and wasn’t willing to stay.
Elspeth: Mercy, it wasn’t a typo…*sniffles* Jadali: And everyone Loves random capitalisation Of words. Looks German or something, I Guess.
She looked Ready to take off when Goku came over to her Jadali: …and gave himself a swift kick in the ass for neglecting a full stop.
"Hey wait what is your name?" Goku said to her before Trunks had time to talk to him.
Elspeth: Is it just me, or did you notice that the crappier the fic, the less commas there are? Jadali: Valid point. I'll keep it in mind.
She got Ready to take off again but this time she was stopped by the purple hared boy.
Jadali: Now back up for a cotton-picking minute. What the hell is this 'hared' crap? Is the author implying that Trunks has some type of rabbit fetish, or that Bulma gets really lonely? Elspeth: *shudders* You ever say that again, and I'll projectile-vomit.
Jadali: I thought Goku's last name was 'Son'. Elspeth: It is. Both: *sweatdrop*
She sided and turned around and sat on the ground.
Elspeth: Well, this ‘sentence’ makes about as much sense as an ashtray on a motorbike.
Jadali: (wails) Now I’m all confused! Who the hell is Goku Flew?! There’s too many Gokus! *sob* Elspeth: *pats head* Don’t worry, it’s got to stop some time. And let’s not forget that this was your half-assed idea.
She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. Vijeta stared at her with disbelief. He had not seen her in over 20 years and now she was here on earth the last of the Female Say-jin’s left unless his sister was some how still alive.
Jadali: The Female Say-jin’s what? Elspeth: It’s getting old, dear. Jadali: And since when does Vegeta have a sister? Elspeth: *sweatdrop* Since now, apparently.
He looked at her strong hands her well-figured body She was a perfect example of a true female Say-jin.
Jadali: How can he see her hands if her arms are crossed? Elspeth: I’m getting the feeling that this fic is punctuation interactive, you know, make it more of a challenge to read by making the reader visualise commas and full stops? Jadali: Careful, you stole that one from Patches.
He couldn’t stop thinking about her and looking at her but he wasn’t alone as Krillin Piccilo Gohan and Yamcha looked at her. She had a tail Female armor and a familiar family crest to Vijeta but he couldn’t place it right now who she was.
Jadali: It was always my impression that Vegeta had a good memory. And if he ‘hadn’t seen her for twenty years,’ one would guess that he knows who she is. Elspeth: It was always my impression that Saiyans in general had tails. What are they all staring at? Were they expecting antlers? Jadali: We’re going to have to address the deer analogies and references at some stage.
Jadali: Okay, this really is like bad German with the whole noun-capitalisation thing. But shouldn’t Prince Lawn Dart get as much recognition as Hair? Elspeth: Who’s Hair?
He had promised he would protect her and he would not leave her alone.
Jadali: Sorry, toots, he doesn’t remember you.
But Freeza sent him off alone and She was given to King cold to Train under. She was not allowed to see Vijeta except when he was in the healing chamber but she was always told to leave minutes before he awoke. She worked for King cold almost like a Zombie for 17 years for the last 3 years she woke her self up from the stage and realized that she was more powerful then any one expected her to become.
Jadali: *yawn* Is it just me, or is this excruciatingly boring? Elspeth: (snoring loudly) Jadali: Must…stay…awake…fight…urge…to…pass…*snore*
She soon realized she became something that was only suppose to be legend she could become a Super Say-jin and soon she did but King Cold never saw her do it.
Elspeth: *yawn* He mightn’t have seen her do it, but wouldn’t he have felt it? Jadali: (still snoring) Elspeth: WAKE UP!
The woman named Bulma walking over to her snapped her out of the memories.
Jadali: Well, there’s a big surprise. Capsule Corporation is, after all, virtually the YMCA for displaced alien lifeforms.
Elspeth: (Piccolo): ‘I’d like to introduce myself. I’m Piccolo Looked.’
Jadali: Um, ‘scuse, but since when do limbs ‘pop’ off? Wouldn’t one assume there’d be blood and pain and screaming? Elspeth: *nods*
She promptly fell to the ground.
Jadali: As one would probably do, after having a limb ‘popped’ off.
"Why did you go and do that for!" She yelled at him from the ground like a little kid. He threw her tail into the air and destroyed it.
Elspeth: Well that was a waste. They could have eaten it.
Jadali: (Lina): "I can’t balance myself enough to walk, so I’ll take to the air. God help you if you laugh when I crash into random objects."
She used her Ki to keep her from falling over.
Jadali: Who’s the ‘her’ in the picture? Elspeth: Apparently a random original character with a bit of oomph.
Vijeta watched her and it was like watching a Familiar scene from his past.
Jadali: Duh, what’s a Familiar? Elspeth: A nonsensical term for godknowswhat brought about by random capitalisation of nouns. Jadali: Oh.
He thought back.
Jadali: Then he thought front. Elspeth: *swat*
Elspeth: Why would a Saiyan cut off their own child’s tail? Source of power andwhathaveyou? Jadali: Ah, grasshopper. But these are Say-jins.
She gave her father the same pouty Look Lina had given Piccilo a minute ago. Then it came to him that was Lina! Lina was the say-jin to whom he was betrothed.
Jadali: I was waiting for it, hoping it would come, and here it is. J&E: (singsong) Blatant self-inser-tion…blatant self-inser-tion…
He remembered that he once promised to protect her and now they hadn’t seen each other in over 20 years that promise was broken. He now knew why she had surpassed him and why she hated him.
Both: Eh?
He noticed Goku coming back over to them and the boy was gone.
Jadali: Okay, so we’re bastardising the plotline from ‘The Mysterious Youth’ onwards, rewriting it so that Anime can do icky things with Prince Lawn Dart.
Vijeta smirked Lina was 100% Say-jin woman. She had smarts that only a say-jin woman could have.
Jadali: Funny, Saiyans always struck me as pretty dumb. Elspeth: But they’re not – Jadali: Don’t say it! Exhibit 1: Raditz. Exhibit 2: Nappa. Exhibit 3: Goku. Exhibit 4: Vegeta (I’ll stand here and laugh evilly while some fat guy in a thong cuts me tail off). Exhibit 5: GOKU.
Piccilo glared at her and she glared back more deadly. He looked scared and then turned to Goku again.
Elspeth: Uh-huh. Piccolo scared of a tailless monkey. Now I’ve seen everything.
Jadali: You just half gave it away, idiot.
Jadali: (snoring loudly) Elspeth: *poke, poke* Jadali: Oh, it’s still going? Get me a bucket before the saccharine-sugar-vomit-crap makes me…vomit.
Elspeth: Isn’t that a Bulma-thing? Jadali: See, Anime has rewritten it so that Bulma doesn’t matter. But when you think about it, by doing that she’s ruined the timeline cos there won’t be a Trunks, I’m assuming. AND THERE’LL BE NOBODY THERE TO MAKE VEGETA GET RID OF THAT GODAWFUL MOUSTACHE! Elspeth: Screwing up timeline…making head hurt… Jadali: All for the sake of doing icky things to Vegeta. Why the hell would you want to? Elspeth: That’s it? Jadali: Yup. Elspeth: Thank God for that.
Dumbest exhibit: "Lina I think you should stay here I have to talk to Goku Privately and what he has to relay might involve you."
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