Stalkers, Nightcrawlers, and Assorted Other Scrapings Off the Sidewalk

Victimization does not only happen in real life and in real time. It happens on the Internet and in chat rooms regularly. "Come now," we hear you saying, "Surely you don't take this seriously?"

Scenario number one There ya are in the chat room, minding your own business, chatting and playing with friends, when a newcomer signs in. Lo and behold! The next thing you know, you are asked for a private. Anywhere from two minutes to an hour or more later, you emerge from the private and sign out of the chat. NEXT thing ya know---you're getting phone calls, ICQ messages by the score, cards, letters, flowers.........and more than likely another marriage proposal.

Scenario number two (which often follows quickly on the heels of scenario number one): There ya are again, in the chat room, minding your own business, chatting and playing with friends, when that same newcomer signs in. Only THIS time, they aren't so new. You have successfully thwarted their attempts at calling at all hours of the day and night, removed them from your I C Q list and stopped them cold in their cybertracks by turning down their fifty-third marriage proposal. Suddenly, the most mundane and ordinary conversation is turned into a sparring match. Your sex life, your daily life, your gut-level opinions and beliefs are all ATTACKED, often with vigor and often with ABSOLUTELY NO BASIS IN REALITY!! Should fending off such attacks be successful, and this person leaves, NEVER FEAR!! She/he WILL BE BACK, although NOT under a screen name that is recognizable.

Scenario number three This is when it gets totally ugly, and not amusing folks. This is what separates the sane from the insane, the human from the anthropoid. There ya are again in the same chat room with the same agenda, chatting and playing online with friend, when the entire room is treated to a DIRE THREAT SPREAD ACROSS THE SCREEN IN LARGE LETTERS LIKE THIS. These 'messages from cyberspace' come from someone who is either operating on their own or has enough information, gleaned from friends or experience, to change their own IP number long enough for the message to appear as though it is coming from a totally 'offshore' (off-planet?) location. Such messages include personal information which you were at one point kind and gracious enough to share with the chatroom or even with that party. These are the truly scary ones--the idea that there are people out there who have enough time on their hands to come up with such misguided, alleged revenge schemes is boggling enough--but to actually SEE the names of some of your other friends and chatmates listed on the 'hitlist'--well, it is NOT for the faint of heart!!!

Some of this may sound very familiar...chances are that if you've been in online chat for a considerable length of time, you or someone you know has been 'hit' at least once. Perhaps you changed chat sites/rooms, and/or IP's, perhaps you changed your chatname, deleted I C Q or other instant messaging service, perhaps you have even changed your phone number, gone offline for an extended period of time, or thrown your original computer out the window, out of sheer frustration or panic. Or perhaps you, like the authors of this site, have learned from experience and refused to be deprived of a form of socializing by the actions of a few demented and tortured souls.

For those of you who are reading this and may have some inkling that you are being groomed for victimhood, here are a few signs to look for.