7-29-2001: Peoria, Illinois. There I was, running those routine errands the other morning - to the bank, the pharmacy, the builder's supply store and so on with the gas tank getting low. The price of fuel in Metamora was $1.27. I figured I could do better. So I pressed onward toward Peoria, and the station at the bottom of Germantown Hill also displayed the price of $1.27.

Since prices had been plummeting of late, I reasoned I might do better in Peoria. As I crossed the bridge, the light on the dash that looks like an old-fashioned gas pump with a hose stuck in its ear winked on, indicating that I had about a gallon left in the tank. That, in the car I now drive, would get me about 25 to 30 miles. No problem. But as I crested the War Memorial Drive hill, the first gas station I saw was selling unleaded regular for $1.43. Oh, no. I pressed on, thinking this might be some kind of fluke. Surely the next station would be $1.27 or less. Not. Every place I passed had the new price posted at $1.43 or $1.44.

By now my errands were almost completed, so with my cool Germanic reasoning, I figured I could buy a couple gallons at $1.44 and then fill up when I got back to the east side of the river at $1.27.

Not. By the time I arrived at the station where gas had been $1.27 forty-five minutes earlier, it had gone up to $1.43. Clearly, whatever network the gasoline dealers utilize to spread the word about these sudden price spurts was functioning much speedier than my 6-cylinder, 16-valve, fuel-injected, computer-controlled chevy engine.

So what do they use? Signal lights? The Internet? E-mail? Carrier pigeons? The telephone? And why does this happen all at once? I mean, how come Shell, Standard, Clark, Amoco, etc. all. raise their prices at the same time? Could there be collusion here? Say it aint so George W.

But if Budweiser, Miller's, Foster's, Heilemann and the Huber breweries all raised their prices on the same day at the same hour, it might seem a little odd. One might even suspect a conspiracy was taking place. Or if you went to buy a car that yesterday was priced at $18,999 and found the price today is $21,999, you might have cause to be a trifle suspicious.

So how is it that we are being jerked about so shamelessly by the gasoline companies? And while we're at it, what happened to all those elaborate excuses that were so cunningly fabricated to explain why gasoline prices have been so unstable? Have all those malfunctioning refineries been miraculously fixed overnight? And what happened to those special blends that have made gasoline prices in some areas so intolerable. Have they vanished?

The real mystery lies in the question: Who is calling the shots here? Is there, perhaps some expansive character from an old Thomas Nast cartoon, with top hat and Havana cigar, who sends out the word: "Up 22 cents, 2 p.m. Wednesday"? Somehow, I thought we had broken the trusts years ago. Apparently not.

And why the bewildering disparity in gas prices? We happened to be in Bloomington recently for the Shakespeare Festival (the only good reason I can see for going to Bloomington) and noted that the price of gas was an astonishing $1.04, about twenty-five cents less than it was in the Peoria area. How come? That is only 40 miles away.

I do not really expect sensible answers. Neither do I expect spokespersons for the gas cartel to come forward beating their breasts and lamenting, "mea culpa." But it might help. For there may well come a day when automobiles will be powered by electric motors that are charged by gasoline engines about the size of those used in lawnmowers, and when most gasoline stations will have been converted into shoe repair shops or hamburger stands. Most people will use a gallon of gas per week.