Hi I'm Davey Gravey. So many relationships today suffer because not many realise that all arguments stemn from the same fundamental dynamics. Men and women are from two different worlds and need to give up being hung up about it. A man knows all about this hang up because his partner usually hangs up when he tries to tell her he’s working late in the office but she can hear a jukebox in the background. Whats going on here? The two partners are just in their own worlds, he’s in bars and she’s the cleaner. Now we have to learn to understand these separate worlds because women are making the fundamental mistake of trying to get men to come into their world. If she cant she becomes very frustrated and will eventually resort to aggression: she will try to take him to the cleaners in the courts. I hope my little column will help all couples to enjoy communion from their separate worlds. Lets start by finding out what happens when a man retreats into his bar.

Lets look at a typical Friday night argument:

Gary: Wheres them chicken wings from last night?

Avril: aint no wing left after you ate em all

Gary:you’re a fat liar

Avril: You calling me a liar?

Gary:Yeah

Avril: YEAH

Gary: Y E A H

Avril:...

YEAH

Gary Im goin to my bar now…

This is typical, a woman wants to try to get her man to see what she knows is the truth: the wings are all gone. She is trying to help him. A man does not want a woman to help him see whats there. He wants her to go to KFC ang get more wings. Now the roles start to get confused. She asks him a question, women like to ask questions because they like to be asked questions. If a man is asked such a question he will not be able to answer. This is because in men Budweiser is a key protein in the neurotransmitter chemistry of his brain. He will retreat into his bar.

It is a mistake for a woman to try to help a man by talking. A man wants Bud not friendship from a woman. A woman should be strong enough not to question him but save her strength for carrying a six pack from the store. This is the strength a man respects though she should realise that at the end of the six pack his respect will likely diminish.

Equally a man should stay in his role. He should not call when he is deep inside his bar (and he thinks she cant heat the juke) and claim he will be home in time to clean the home with her. If he waits until his confusion is resolved inside his bar by the bartender calling closing time then he will be able to return to the woman and ask for what he wants. Then she can help him….to put ketchup on the wings and undress him in the spare room.