Most of Trader Guy's life is actually unknown. He was born in an undisclosed location with undisclosed parents. Anyway, Trader Guy was a hippie in high school and he always snuck into the bathrooms to smoke weed. So, Trader Guy flunked out of high school and was too doped up to get a job. But Trader Guy used his remaining brain cells to buy a couple of booths at the Liberty Bell Flea Market. He tried to sell all kinds of junk to people, but he got kicked out because he was trying to sell bongs and stuff. So Trader Guy started to go to Comic Conventions dressed up as a pink rabbit (pictured), trying to get tips from comic book fans. Most of the time Trader Guy either gets kicked out of the comic convention or one of the guys dressed up as a super hero beats him up at the convention. Trader Guy still goes to the convention, using his few brain cells to try to entertian the public and get some cash. You can still reach him in the cardboard box behind the flea market, where he will sell you some drugs. But let Trader Guy be a lesson to everyone that Mr. Mackey's theory stays true: Drugs are bad, mmkay?