So lost,
so different,
so naked
without your presence.
In the past,
I always stood in solitude,
but not without you there
to comfort me.
You watched me sprout.
You kept me sane.
There was another
that I loved as much as you,
another that I lost.
The pieces that most completed me
are both gone now,
lost or gone astray,
leaving me more puzzled
by my existence than ever.
Sleepness nights,
heavy with tortured echoes
of your loving presence.
But at least you passed
where you were happiest--
there in my arms.
Arms that may have been strong,
but were powerless to bring you back,
although, in my mind,
you still have not gone,
joining the other phantoms,
left behind to keep watch.
I feel like a lost child now.
My strength is depleted,
my wisdom once again diminishing.
Cast into this cyclone
of this wicked and unyielding
cycle of all cycles,
you moved on without me,
and now I am,
once again,
alone and confused--
more so now than ever.
I pray you still stand close,
for there are many times
I think I cannot do this alone,
without the one who was always there
even when others could not be.
You will never be forgotten,
you who was always the Goddess.
Return now to Isis,
but keep my memory near,
for the shadows you cast throughout my world
still linger in the path before me,
and probably always will.
Never again will your loving gaze
dotingly beat upon my flesh;
the warmth of your tiny body
no longer ensuring a deep,
peaceful slumber;
the passion of your simple being
no longer feeding my creative energies.
I said I was ready to take on the world,
and now I must face it without you there to guide me.
Didn't see that one coming,
but when do we ever?
You snuck out like a thief in the night,
taking a good portion of me with you,
but you did right
where the other had failed:
You left a piece of yourself behind,
just to remind me that I did matter,
and for that I thank you.
Tears continually flow,
the heart is forever caving,
and the spirit is perpetually sinking
in this the storm in the sea of life.
But to give in now
would mean your life
had been lived in vain,
you whose mission was always
and only
to save me from myself.
I cannot let you down,
sweet child of mine.
Forever be near me,
and I shall always succeed.
(For my angel, my feline friend, and my child
--Sabrina--
you were never just a cat,
you were my friend,
my twin soul,
and my baby.)
