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It was so late at night we had nothing to do.
And then in a twinkling I heard not a sound,
Not a reindeer or muskrat or dog at the pound.
As I covered my head and was trying to sleep,
My sister crept in with much more than a peep.
She was dressed in pajamas, all pinkish and old,
Her hair was all knotty, her teeth were like gold.
And stinky saliva she got on my cheek -
I wasn't quite happy, that's the third time this week!
Her eyes didn't twinkle, her skin didn't shine,
But she couldn't sleep, this sister of mine.
Her red little mouth was drawn in a pout,
And I knew in a second I wanted her out!
But she wouldn't leave, yes, she wanted to stay
And keep me awake to hear Santa's big sleigh.
So I clocked her and threw her back inside her bed,
Shut her door loudly and left her for dead.
And she slept all night long without waking up
And woke in the morning; on her head was a lump.
With a rub of her cheek and a scratch of her arm,
I knew in a second, she'd do me no harm.
She spoke not a word, ripping open her toys
With giggles and squelches and shoutings of joys.
And squeezing the paw of her new Bubba doll,
He gave a quick speech in his rough southern drawl.
She bounced up and down, trying to give us a holler,
I attempted to bribe her and gave her a dollar.
But I heard her exclaim as the day wrapped its fun,
"I want more stuff, goddamnit, we can't just be done!"
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