Not long ago, I sent a little poem to someone I know from my wanderings on the internet.
It was a simple little thing. It may have taken 10 minutes to write, but I doubt it. I didn't even keep a personal copy. It just seemed that my friend could use a bit of encouragement. The response was interesting.
"I am just not used to people being nice to me."
I thought, "How sad, that someone would not be accoustomed to people being nice." Pretty quickly, and in the usual fashion, I responded to myself.
"E., it's not as uncommon as you immediately conclude. Take a moment to re-think your statement."
Once again, I hate when I do that.
It's true, unfortunately. We seem, as a rule, to have forgotten the art of kindness. It seems odd to me, as I have observed that kindness is generally easier than the alternatives, more rewarding, and costs almost nothing. And yet, in spite of what would appear to be simple logic to the contrary, people are at best indifferent to those around them, or at worst, deliberately cruel.
You may acuse me of being naive in the extreme. I should advise you that you would not be the first. I, too, have the capacity to press onward in the foce of logic to the contrary, my vocation being a fine example. I have had to cultivate kindness over the years, but it is no more difficult than any other habit. One must simply make the conscious decision to do something kind, every day, and make sure there is some method of reminding yourself to do so, even when you aren't in the mood.
If you are at all considering kindness as a lifestyle, you will also, eventually, want to consider a specialization. There are some, for example, who specialize in "Lofty Generosity". They donate time, effort, and finances to causes that advance the greater good. Through their activities, they have assisted in curing disease, feeding entire populations, and sustaining endangered species, all without doing any harm to anyone.
There are others who concentrate on "Infantry Kindness". They offer their resources in that mano-a-mano, down-in-the-streets manner. They keep tools and supplies in their car and watch for stranded motorists as they drive to and from work. They deliver Meals on Wheels and mow lawns for elderly neighbors. One on one kindness can be extremely satisfying, but has a greater personal cost.
Still others are into "Strategic Kindness". They invest themselves into tutoring and coaching children's sports teams. They donate toys and clothes to orphanages and homeless shelters. In this way, they are making an investment in the future, and may make the world a better place, eventually. There is a least the possibility that they will make a big difference in the life of one person, which may, in turn, produce a larger effect in time.
My personal favorite is "Stealth Generosity". There is a community of people, larger than I may suspect, I'm sure, that do kind things for people without their knowledge. They do many of the things I have mentioned in the other modus operandae, but they cover their tracks. It's rather like playing a practical joke, actually. As an example, when I travel on business, I will often pick a young couple at some resteraunt at which I am having dinner, and pay for their meal anonymously. I keep an eye open for someone who looks like they could use some kindness, or appears to be "financially underequipped". Seeing the reaction when they are told some unknown person has paid their bill, and watching them try to figure out who did it, is entertainment well worth the cost of admission.
So I encourage you to think about it. To whom can you show some kindness today. Can you find someone different tomorrow? This is one of those areas I would love to get some feedback. Tell me to whom you have been kind. Who knows? If enough people give this a try, perhaps we really can save the world.
Updated: Tuesday, 11 November 2003 6:28 PM GMT
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