Today was a frustrating day. I am an occasional musician with a Christian group, and I just couldn't get into my zone. The crowd was responsive, the singers were on, everything was going well, I didn't miss any cues or make any technical mistakes. I just felt hollow. I'm just coming off a pretty rough month, so I imagine that has something to do with it. The changes I've been through left me feeling like a dishrag after a buffet on the inside.
My faith is important to me. As a matter of fact, my whole life centers around it. I know God is real, because of many experiences with Him. But today, it was as if He was giving me "The Treatment." I can't remember the last time I felt so alone. Now I know what the prophet meant when he said, "The heavens are like brass."
So, now that you know that I'm a Jesus Freak, you have to ask yourself if that causes you to lose interest in this journal. I suppose some of you will (if there are any of you out there). But let me assure the rest of you that just because I have the Red Phone to God doesn't mean I have no self-doubt, or questions, or dilemmas. It does mean, however, that I have a source of strength outside myself.
But I digress. If you want to know more about the Jesus Freak thing, e-mail me and I'll give you the whole deal.
I'm not going to go into why June of 2001 was such a terrible month, at least not yet. It's still a little to fresh for me to be peeking under the bandage.
I'm listening to the One-Hit Wonders Channel at Spinner.com. They are playing Dan Hartman's "I Can Dream About You." It seems that the vast majority of One-Hit Wonders came from the '80s. What does that say about the post-Boomer/pre-GenX crowd? Still, I groove on it, and I wonder if some of these guys just decided to take their first Million and split, or did I just never hear of their second attempt.