bursedays was the worse days
i have this unhealthy hangup that everything i write -- or do -- must be profound. sometimes it is debilitating. not debilitating to live, but to write. i used to write alot, and then compiling it all took away the joy of writing and reading it all required that anything new be worth reading.

i drink a half pot or more coffee per day. that is also unhealthy.

i am going to try to remove the writing stigma and keep something together, i have that strength, and then keep moving on.

i write in lyric quotes that are placeable if you know the song.

the other week was my burseday. i know that because yesterday was my little sisters burseday and she called me because hers triggered her memory to remember mine.

i talked to my folks and my now both my sisters, my brother hasnt called me. i didnt receive anything. i guess when i was younger i did good work to divorce myself from the traditional exchanges. i am not big on celebrating my birthday or any holidays.

it still stings a bit though, to not receive a card in the mail -- even if by design. the severed nerve endings that connect me to this capitalistic life twitch a bit at the memory.

but soon enough.