The Teletubbies Exposed
We take you behind the scenes, revealing the utter most shocking secrets!
At first, The Teletubbies came out and became an instant hit with the public babies. The money was rolling as more and more toddlers started viewing them! A popularity wham out of nowhere! Soon enough, they went baby prime-time at 4:00 in the afternoon and even 1:00 PM. Soon came the money as The Teletubbies hit the shelves with their new dolls! A childrens show which noone had ever heard of had hit the big time. What a surprise it was, but more surprising would be what happened later on.
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The Teletubbies not so far after their climb to the big time faced devastation... Tinky Winky. The sole leader of the group would lead to their disaster.
Lah Lah: Tinky Winky was really the black sheep when I think about it...
Dipsy: Definitely
Po: He scared me.
Tinky Winky, their leader messed with a whole season's worth of episode and made it very bright, unimaginably bright. Seizures were the result of it and Tinky Winky and the gang who were leading such a great life were filed against by numerous lawsuits. To make problems worst, the Sun grew cranky when teething and pooped all over the set. This was during a taping which has been hidden and burned by the producers. Instead of helping what Tinky Winky started, he was reported being a regular at the XXX Bar... He even dragged the rest of the gang, threatening if they didn't come. So the gang was forced, threatened for their lives to enter the bar.
Lah Lah: He grinned so, soo... Evily.
Perhaps for the smile was that Tinky Winky had plans. Tinky Winky forced the others to get lap dances. Rest of the gang had no clue what they were being done to so they asked what he was doing only to recieve the most horrid message.
Po: *Sniff* He said that we'd have sss-shex!!! *Crying*
To top it off, after the others came afterwards their private mingles horrid and shocked, Tinky Winky flashed a white substance. He got the others to do drugs.
Dipsy: It burned, I was scared.. We were all petrified. Not only that, he would be erotic and become a drag queen... He was wearing a... pu-pu-purse..... And he wouldn't allow a doll manufactured of him without the purse! A magnet buddy Tinky Winky was to criticism and controversy!
Tinky Winky was also abusive at the time. He was heavily drinking and was in terrible condition. When the others tried to help, he'd take out a gun and take them to a Strip Club and force them to have sex and watched the terrified buddies of him and he even taped them! Later, he would use eBay to illegally sell them. Tinky Winky made thousands from the bootlegged tapes and drugs but like all criminals, he was caught and handcuffed by the Cyber Police. Tinky Winky now had 10 major felonies on his public record and this was bad news for The Teletubbies. They were taken off the air.
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Tinky Winky spent time in bars and eventually got out after a while.
La La: He was less abusive and was nicer.
The rebirth of The Teletubbies was on again and the show, not quite as sucessful when it came out, was doing okay on the air.
Po: Everyone was a big family again!
Despite the return of sucess, a secret still today remains. The Teletubbies are still going to XXX Clubs and are addicted to sex. Lawyers of The Teletubbies deny these allegations but new evidence over eBay entitled "XXX Teletubby Porn, NEW!!!" emerged. Investigations are underway and this has not been confirmed yet. However, The Teletubbies stay on-air until confirmation and perhaps the tragic thing is that The Teletubbies shall never give up sex and booze.
©2001 ~ NHL
This is a parody and is covered under the US Fair Use Law.
