Mattel - Secret Targets
Mattel has been supposedly targeting young girls, but what is their true target? Well, we were shocked to find out that the so called tapping into the female industry was also intended for males! Shocking, extroadinary, too bad that word did not get out faster than it has! You see, Mattel was using the sexuality of these dolls on the market to their advantage. Their secret products are these:
Barbie Genie dolls first came out into the never-before seen market. It bombed miserably. The product encouraged little boys to rub barbie and if they touched her in the right place, barbie giggled and said "You rubbed me v-wery well!" Then, the boys would be shocked and touch the doll in the same space and then chose to explore from curiosity. Additional comments were "Ooh, lalala!" That was soon dropped in the later models which included "You just released me from my bottle!" and "Come, come, COME!!!" The lack of girls in this because most were straight hurt the company. Soon after, Ken hit the market. He would say like-Barbie coments. The whole Barbie and Ken Genie dolls were dropped from shelves however after an angry mother found out about "Cum, cum, CUM!!!"
Angry Mother: Those crazy bastards! How dare they expose this to my son?
Yes, how do they dare? Well, it got even nastier than that as the Dress Me Up Barbies hit the shelves. The dolls would have outfits but mostly were see-through lingerie. Boys went crazy over these Barbies. Girls were delighted as a Dress Me Up Ken hit the shelves but to mothers' dismay, clothes were sold seperately. The Barbies were an instant hit with the 'lil kids and enjoyed the dolls for hours and hours. This lead to alot of playing around... Away from the doll. After a relative of a little girl found out that clothes had to be bought seperately, the dolls had to be taken off shelves. Many hated the $5 for the sexy Ken clothing set.
Lawsuits poured out.
Girl: That Ken! He's soo dreamy! *sigh*
Then Mattel released a Feel Me Up Barbie and Ken dolls. Instant hit, bigger, better than before. These dolls were more realistic then ever imaginable! The instruction manual suggested for the kids to strip down the clothes. These life-sized models showed pornographic materials and encouraged kids to follow the pictures precedent. Also, they contained a nude real Barbie and Ken who had sex with each other. They also contained erotic images which soon led to the downfall of the Feel Me Up models. Lawsuits poured in faster than rain.
Boy: I hurt my tinkey-winkey!
That lawsuit cost Mattel 5 million dollars. Not only that, many girls had misused Ken's body parts. This was a total disaster. Sad thing though is that there are still some of these model dolls on the shelves! Look into your box of a brand new barbie and you may find some porn inside! This also led to a brand new age of kids - Those who can't stop playing around... Wether from video games to nude Barbie and Ken dolls... Also, this has struck many porn sites up on the web.
'Tis sad that Mattel had to use such a cheap blow to win, and in the end... It is those kids that today can't stop playing around who really lost... 'Tis sad world we live in. Also, some poor kids exposed to porn so early attempted it with their siblings... 
When will the suffering end?
©2001 ~ NHL
This is a parody and is covered under the US Fair Use Law.
