Tickle Me Elmo - Hidden Controversy
When Tickle Me Elmo came out, it came out near the holidays and was an instantaneous hit. Mostly children contributed to the sucess. The Elmo dolls were sold out for months and prices would swore up on eBay and other internet auction sites. Tragically enough, the supposed "Family Toy" was made with shocking secrets.
Touch Me Elmo was the original idea. Children were to touch Elmo anywhere they could to find hidden treats Elmo hid. Toddlers in a test study before release found some white powder in Elmo's mouth. The toddler began to sneeze after breathing some of the subtance in and jerked his head back but some of the powder went up his nose. Instead of sneezing, the little boy was found later putting his arm up Elmo's legs. He found too bouncy balls and a lolipop near his legs. Also, they found a knife in Elmo's head and luckily no one was hurt. As well as that, a joint showed up in Elmo's back. The kid mistakened it for a lolipop and put it in his mouth.
Parents who let their childs test the product in exchange for money returned and were shocked at sight. They saw a couple of kids putting their hands up Elmo's legs. Some kids were playing with their knives. The kid mistakening the joint for a lolipop in his mouth and a kid who looked like he was on crack running around with his diaper on his head, saying that he had the best thing of all while pointing to his private parts and flashed them. The guardians immediately filed lawsuits but they were kept hidden as the Executive Producers from Sesame Street settled the cases.
Next version of Elmo doll was the Strip Me Down Elmo. Kids were encouraged to take Elmo's clothes off. Taking the shirt off revealed two bouncy balls. Taking the pants off revealed a lolipop which was easily taken off unlike the bouncy balls and the kids immediately put it in their mouths. Amazingly, on the back of the doll was a little booklet. The booklet contained tips how to have "Great, amazing sex," showed pictures of two lovers. Not only that, but threesomes also were in there as well as alot of stuff. This case also was hidden in the small claims court.
Producers sick of lawsuits and loss of money finally changed thought processes and went away from having a doll. They came with "Eat Me Elmo-Stix." Soon however, some children found jagged glass pieces, crack, cocaine, marijuana, a tons of other drugs and even some beer. Lawsuits by angry parents and even Pixie Stix for misleading hit the producers.
So one producer sick of all this took Touch Me Elmo and punched him in the stomach. Then the idea for Tickle Me Elmo came up. So one by one producers beat the living hell out of the doll.
The sad thing is that if you rip up a Tickle Me Elmo doll today, you can find pornos, drugs and weapons still inside.
Check out Bert Is Evil which is a kick-ass site.
©2001 ~ NHL
This is a parody and is covered under the US Fair Use Law.
