09/17/2009
Looooooong time, web slime!!
Here are some things that've pissed me off (over the last 2 years)
- Kanye West
- TOURISTS
- pop music
- Hybrid cars
- Kanye West
- The economy
- The weather
- Kanye West
- All the people who had to die so young (and Kanye West couldn't be one of them)
- The most recent Guns N Roses album (that sucked..... until Kanye West officially became the IT thing in suck....)
I'll think of more when the alcohol wears off.....
02/26/2007 -
What been up, web slime!?
So, what has had me so pissed off that I HAVE to return??!!? Read on........
Anyway, on the news this morning, I had heard a story about a stupid criminal who decided to take a case ALLLLL the the way to the Supreme Court for something that was his fault...... OK, here's the full gist of the story. He lead some police and sheriff officers on a 120 MPH chase...... Yes, 120 MPH!!
The police tried to do an offensive move that would end the chase. As luck or fate would have it (you pick which....), The car which the criminal was driving flipped over AND left this dead fucking weight (as luck would REALLY have it) as a quadriplegic.
He decided to sue the police dept for using obsessive force and has taken it upon himself to see this all the way to the Supreme Court.
My question is, Did the incident also leave him brain-damaged, too? YOU ARE A FUCKING CRIMINAL, IRONSIDES!! You did this to yourself, NOT the police!!
Only Darwin would love the irony in ALL of this!!
CHEERZ FUCKOZ!!
09/11/2006 -
NOW AND FOREVER...... NEVER FORGET
08/01/06 -
From the pages of tonybatman.com:
07/28/2006 - When KSEX fans find the studio
With the Live video feed , the Audio streamer and the on air chat room. KSEX fans have several ways to get closer to their favorite adult stars and KSEXradio.com personalities. But every once in a while, on that special occasion A KSEX fan who has been extra loyal, will get the honor of being invited to the studio to watch the shows live in the flesh.
Last night was one of those occasions. Flying to Los Angeles from his home town of San Antonio Texas, long term KSEX listener "Slash" made his way to the KSEX studios in Porn Valley, California.
The evening began innocent enough with Slash (nickname from the KSEX interactive chat room) making his debut appearance on BAADMASTER'S Dungeon, just for a chance to toast Baadmaster himself.
Then it was time for a trip to the trailer with a visit to the popular KSEX show, Temptation, with LorrAINIAC and Cuzz Fucker, a favorite of the long traveled fan.
"It was really cool seeing the show live and in person," Slash said. "Meeting LorrAINIAC, Batman and Cuzz was an inebriating experience, oh wait, that was the Yeager Bombs I did all night."
Later in the evening, Trista Tanner stopped by and while she struggled getting up the stairs to the studio, her appearance went on without incident.
During the show right before a commercial break, Slash, sitting on the KSEX couch, smiling for the camera, called out in a very scary voice: BUCKET, NOW, BUCKET!
Between witty radio banter from two of KSEX's most entertaining hosts, random hurl noises and a lovely display of corn, Jell-O and beer making a second visit to the atmosphere, the moment was the only time in KSEX history that members who bought a membership to view the web cams, wished they didn't.
At that moment I left the room, got my dinner from the refrigerator and enjoyed the rest of my meal. KSEX would like to thank our fan that made his long trek from Texas to the KSEX Studios while generously leaving a trail for all other fans to find the studio.
KSEXradio.com is FREE to listen to and interact by chatroom. Members of the site can watch all the hot action on the in-studio webcams. Tune in tonight for The Young and the Curious, The Wanker Show, Jaded by Lust and Temptation.
A VERY SPECIAL THANX TO TONY BATMAN FOR THE ARTICLE.
CHEERZ FUCKOZ!!
07/20/2006 -
Well, It's only a week away til I land in L.A. and I'm READY to go!! I'm looking forward to whatever happens (which will be drinking and....... more drinking, with good friends of course). It's gonna be a Hooligan's Holiday and I'm the Head Hooligan-In-Chief, BAY-BAY!! LMAO
Anyway, I'm looking forward to meeting some of you California cats out there. I could name many people, but the important ones will be doing some Jager Bombs and beer with me when I get there, but what should we toast to? Many things happened to me in short span of a couple of months, but we'll figure it out when I get there.
CHEERZ FUCKOZ!!
06/30/2006 -
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT IN MY GUESTBOOK!! NO I DON'T NEED PILLS!! LOL
The guy is saying it's a pleasure to be invited to MY site and he decides to pull a scam in here. WHAT A FUCKIN' DOUCHE!! I'm just going to leave his E Mail addy so you all can give him some shit over this. Soooooo...... Have at the fucking tard!!
CHEERZ FUCKOZ!!
06/22/2006 -
Hey Primordial Pud Pullerz!! Yes, I'm cleaning up the site abit. Moving things around, throwing junk out, and just plain sprucing up the site. Look out for all NEW updates coming soon, including The Gr8 1's HELL A Invasion (and yes, I WILL paint LA red and rename it HELL A).
I'M COMIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!!!
CHEERZ FUCKOZ!!
02/13/2006 -
OK, here's what went down that night : I was walking home from the store Monday February 6 at about 11:45 that night. Like I had done every night for the last 15 years we've been in the neighborhood. No big deal on my part.
Anyway, I turned on the street and a white car stops in front of me. I didn't really think anything, but I stopped anyway. All of a sudden, somebody jumps out of the car. He was dressed in all black - big baggy jacket, hankerchief covering his face.... and he had a rifle with a scope on it in his hands.
At first I thought it was a joke. I wanted to laugh and keep walking. But, the first thing he said was empty your pockets. I took out my wallet, spread it out open, and replied that I had no cash on me at all.
That's when it happened - He shot me!!
At close range.
Because I had no cash.
Before he ran, he called me a fuckin asshole and ran around the corner. I hadn't realized I'd been shot. At first I thought it was a paintball gun or a pellet gun, but the sharp pain in my entire right side started telling me otherwise. I reached at where the pain was and brought out my hand to see blood.
LOTS of warm, gooey blood.
I tried screaming for help, but my breath was taken away from me. I nearly collapsed, but I knew I had to get help, so I went ahead, got on my feet, and walked the six houses away where I lived. I walked right in and told my brother to call an ambulance. I calmly went to the restroom, washed my hands and laid down on my side.
My friend Kramer said he had seen people take wounds like that and they were kicking and screaming and I was the only person he'd ever seen who didn't panic. My life never flashed before my eyes, I never felt coldness over my body, nothing really happened out of the ordinary. I wish I had something big or life changing I could share. But it did hurt..... ALOT!!
I found out later I was shot with a .22 rifle and it ricocheted off my rib and nicked my liver, almost putting it out of commission. People have told me I was lucky and you know what..... They would all be right!!
Mike February 13, 2006 1:45 am
01/07/2006-
And now, some Chuck Norris Facts!!
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
- Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
- Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
- Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
- If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
That's it for now!!
CHEERZ FUCKOZ!!
01/01/2006 -
Welcome to the Geocities version of my site, ya fuckin' wankaz!! I decided to go all the way with this Yahoo thing and put up the site here and let all of you in on this. Hope you all got nice and toasted over the New Year's weekend. I drank beer, tequila, whiskey, Jagermeister and threw some fireworks in just for good measure (No eyes lost. YAY!!) Anyway have a good time and see you throughout 2006, Ya sick Muthafuckoz!!
CHEERZ FUCKOZ!!
Gr8 1 OUT!!
09/10/2005
My name is SLASH0723 (or SLASH to all you here now). Just sitting here contemplating life (not in the emo sort of way, 'tards) and wondering why all the bad shit has to happen now. My mom's in the hospital getting a toe or two amputated, New Orleans is now a festering pool of water, and it just seems things get harder before they get easy (work, home, whatever). I've been contemplating why I'm here in this life. By design or by accident? Will anything/anybody make me happy? Is there really a purpose to my life? Can I strive for something better? That's it! Konichi-wa, bitches!!
08/26/2005
Well, here I am, with a six pack o' Bud Lite in one hand and Marlboros (Cowboy Killers) in the other. Ready to kicketh thy ass and taketh thy name. So, did any of my offbeat prophecies from early in the year come true? NOOOOO!!
Did the world stop spinning? Hell No!! Life has to go on for me and the world did not pay damnation for my struggles (get off the cross and give someone else the wood, that type of thing). But things always do get better somehow, but let's face it: So Fuckin' What!! My new motto for life (besides always calling someone a fucking wanker, which is still a fav).
When I meet someone who just clicks with me, I am going to treat her right. I always hear about how they get treated like shit and so on. You just need to get out of the relationship, sweety. Why put up with the torture when there are better people you can hook up with and they WILL treat you like a Queen.
Guys like me never get an even break in relationships because you never give us a try. The "Nice Guys" really do finish last, which sucks, but we never do have much allure to us. Open the door for you, pay the check on everything, not even a hug after the first date, etc, etc. Hey, you're loss!!
I just started a rant. Better go or you'll be here for a better part of an hour listening to my dating advice (or lack thereof). BYE!!
As If life isn't screwed up enough, even video games take a brunt everytime some moron decides to take them seriously. Case in point are the Grand Theft Auto games, which has repeatedly been used as what is wrong with society. The crime-action games are being blamed for inspiring the triple murder of three Fayette, Alabama, police officers.
"Devin Thompson, 18, is accused of the slayings, which occurred after he was arrested in 2003 for suspicion of the crime of grand theft auto. According to the Associated Press, when he was caught, Thompson said, "Life is a video game. You've got to die sometime." While being booked at the station, he allegedly grabbed a police officer's pistol and then shot its owner and two other officers in the head--all three died. Thompson is then said to have driven off in a stolen police car, but was later apprehended. He is currently being charged with three counts of first-degree murder."
"Two of the victims' next-of-kin have filed a lawsuit accusing the two GTA games as having "trained and motivated" Thompson to commit his crimes. Besides Take-Two, the other defendants named in the near-60-page, $600 million suit are Wal-Mart and GameStop, where Thompson is said to have bought both M-rated games while under the ESRB-mandated 17-year-old purchase age. Sony Computer Entertainment America, makers of Thompson's PlayStation 2 console, is also named in the legal filing."
So, let me get this straight, if I play Mortal Kombat (a favorite of mine , BTB), I might go out and rip someone's head off and I can probably get sued? Hmmm......
Just let this asshole fry in hell, please!!
Special Thanx to Tor Thorsen at Gamespot News for the use of the article.
01/07/2005
Welcome to the NEW Slash's Realm. I decided to move some shit, add new shit, and will take out some old shit later.
-All the 2003 and 2004 rants are in the Past Page
-Some stuff got updated in other pages
-A new link (MY PIX) got added with more to come.
Hope you like it (Cuz I don't care if you do or not. If I wanted your opinion, I'd take my cock out of your mouth, bitches!!).
LATER
12/10/2004
We're Gonna Miss You, Dimebag. Thanks for everything.
Image courtesy of The Punisher Archive
11/25/2004
Slash here, back from Wizard World Dallas. Had a fucking blast and have the photos to prove it. I wished it would have gone on forever, but we do have lives. Hopefully, with time permitting, I'll have more pics up on the site as well as an announcement coming soon.
Hey, Sack Monkeys, Slash here. I thought I'd throw in my hat to run for President of the United States. What? It's a little too late for that? I'm SLASH and I'll do as I fuckin' well please.
What would I do as your commander in chief?
-Legalize Marijuana. Always at the top of my list.
-Eliminate all taxes for the poor and middle class. Let the rich pay them all (they get off too light anyway).
-Demolish the White House and turn the lot into affordable housing for the homeless and poor. In fact, let's just turn all of Washington DC into Housing.
-We'd have a day where we'd release convicts from prison dressed as mariachis and you'd get to kill them. Yes, It's "Kill A Mariachi" day and if you really are a mariachi, well that's tough.
-My Running mate would have to be Maddox. He'd be The Best VP In The Universe. He'd probably be hiding in a bunker somewhere, but what the hell!
-Give back things we "borrowed". It's the only neighborly thing to do. Give back lands, artifacts,and whatever else we took.
I'll think of more things later.
BYE!!
09/10/2004
Yes, loyal little monkeys, Feast your eyes on the scarred visage of SLASH!! Damn, I've always wanted to say that. It felt good. As You can see, I now have a webcam and will have a live feed to the Realm in a little while, so hang tight.
In the meantime, find some string and play with it (or Scroll down and look at Stacy's ass). Catch you on the flipside!
Damn, has it been this long! It's like waking up from a fucking bad nightmare!! After being without a working modem, I'm back! (SO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!)
Well, I'll be working on improving the site in the next couple of weeks, so keep your eyes peeled. In the meantime, here's something to tide you over.
ENJOY
01/2004
Well, another year gone and a whole new one begins. More Rants and Raves to start off the year with as well. The one thing I've noticed is how all the media industries (music, movies, etc) have said that they would like to cut piracy down 100%, but have yet to come up a viable plan. Here is my plan for them to follow.
1. No More High Prices - We all know about most of what goes into the products that goes out (whether it is CDs, DVDs, or games), but the prices are unrealistically bad. You worry about not only paying the performers, but you also throw in agents, printers, PR people, and probably all their grandmothers. All these prices than get passed to us the consumers, who'll pay between $15-20 for the product, which brings about piracy.
2. Do It Right The First Time - In my time of buying DVDs and CDs, I've often seen companies rush stores with a glut of Special Editions and Best Of compilations that supposedly add more to the viewing or listening experience, but bringing nothing really new to the table. Start releasing stuff in a manner that won't insult or sucker consumers into paying for product they already have or offer a trade-in program to these same consumers who bought the previous version (something akin to patches Microsoft puts out for Windows users).
3. Put Out Fresh, Innovating Products - We're all sick of the sound-alikes in music and unoriginal stories in movies/TV, which is why games and internet activity are ruling more of our time these days. It's time to find ideas you may never have thought sold and knock consumers on their ears. No more pre-packaged rock/pop groups, no remakes or crappy sequels, and just no more crap. Original stuff is what will bring in people for you.
4. Cut The Middlemen - Everybody wants a piece of the royalty pie. It's time to tell these people to hit the road unless they really had something to do with the product itself and I'm talking about greedy PR people, agents and managers. Artists/Producers/Directors/Actors who listen to them shouldn't whine about how they make no money whatsoever when those swine cut into into their bottom lines.
If followed, these guidelines will bring back the legions of consumers that were lost (maybe).
C-YA LATER.
12/30/2003
Hey, Howz it goin'! With the glut of "Best Of" lists all over the web, I'd like to do something completely different. Okay, so my idea might be used everywhere else, but so what (try running this site, asshole!).
Here is The Worst Of 2003
Michael Jackson (I like the man's music, but you gotta think he's just weird)
The Music Scene and Industry (especially Linkin Park, Britney Spears, 50 Cent, Eminem, MTV, and every other manufactured "band"/"artist"/"channel". THEY SUCK ASS!!)
Canada (The Disease Farm that it is)
The Movie Studios (MAKE BETTER MOVIES, MONKEY SACKS!! Don't blame piracy for inferior product put out by your companies The San Antonio City Council (No Smoking in resturants I support, but trying to do that in a bar? It's like trying to take the chocolate off the peanut butter. Not Good. And I can take care of myself, You Nazi Swine) The Movie Studios (Wait, did I say that already? Well, DOUBLE FUCK YOU!!!) Reality Shows (read previous rants) And anything else that pissed me off in 2003. SCREW YOU ALL!! YOU SUCK!! As for the rest of you, Thanx and see you in 2004. 10/17/2003 I was looking through a couple of pages on the net and found an article on Pamela Anderson scalding KFC for cruelty to chickens (I've got a chicken I choke, Pamela. What are you going to do about that?). GIVE ME A BREAK ALREADY!! You're past your prime!! Is that saggage in those tits of yours? Here's an idea: Let's dump her and other celebs in the middle of nowhere and let them try to survive in the wild. I know it's been done, but my idea would come with a twist. WILD, RABID ANIMALS! It's brillant - every week, we'd drop in a different animal and have them maul a different star. And why stop at Pammy-Poo, let's give some needy star their last 15 minutes of fame. My point is why protect animals that will hurt us no matter how much we protect them. As The Impeccable Maddox will tell you, "For every animal you don't eat, I'll have three."
Good point, brother... 08/25/03 Hey, Slash here. Yup, just way too much going on for me at the moment to be among you sick and twisted jack-offs! Just dropping a line to let you know I'm alive (You can quit dancing now, I AIN'T DEAD YET!!) Morons still rule our nation and they work all over the country. FUCK OFF!! 06/02/2003 Hey, Slash here. I was turning to different channels at 2 in the morning and came across a disturbing thought: AMERICA IS BEING TURNED INTO A MORONIC NATION THROUGH TV!! Why you may ask? Instead of furthering our evolution (curing cancer, stopping famine, yadda yadda yadda), we sit and watch all the mindless drivel that passes for any form of entertainment. A prime example of this is what celebrities are doing in their lives. Whether it is smashing a camera, doing their umpteenth wedding, or how much money they've made in the last few tenths of a second, people seem to care for all of that. As I've said before, I don't care for that shit myself because I have a fuckin' life. I have plenty to worry about without wanting to know what the Jones have planned out for themselves. But the commercials are a whole different pile of crap all together. Every commercial is trying to sell two or three things that you necessarily don't need, but yet, you feel compelled to buy. For every hour of TV you watch, there is about 20 minutes devoted to products. Think about it - That's 480 minutes in a 24 hour period. If that's not enough, we get tired of watching TV and decide to go see to a movie (which you probably saw on a commercial). So we go into a theater, buy popcorn and soda (while we wait, we watch commercials/trailers for other movies on a TV), and once we go in and get seated, we watch, guess what, more fuckin' commercials. The lights dim and we expect to see the trailers, but no, more fuckin' commercial to sog our already over-loaded brains. I get frustrated before the movie even starts because I could have just seen those same commercials for free at home and I forked over $10.00 just to see all of those before the flick. Here's a thought on all of this - STOP BEING SUCH GULLIBLE ASSHOLES!! 05/22/2003 Hey there, Slash here. The long monthly wait was all you'd get, so here I am again. FUCKING LIKE IT!! Anyway, the first chapter for SXSW will be up shortly, so if you stuck around for Chapter 0, your patience has paid off. Have fun or FUCK OFF (depending on who you are). And before I split again, I'd like to welcome all of the worldwide audience who join us for the first time. Yup, I am a jerk, so get used to it!! BYE! 04/26/2003 Loyals webheads and anyone in between, Slash here. Not alot of well thought out crap that you probably haven't heard, but since I'm here, I'll leave now, but in the mean time check out Chapter 0 of the story I promised here last month. Trust me it will only get better after that. Well, later... 03/27/2003 Hello loyal webheads, Slash here. Thought I'd update as usual and bring on some more crap that you grown annoyed by. Over the next couple of weeks, I will be writing about my experiences in Austin at the South By Southwest Festival to give you a little in-site into what goes on behind the scenes. Yes, my little mongoloids, I ate, boozed, and shmoozed with plenty of people and celebs (you'll have to read to find out who. no early surprizes here), went to some hot clubs, and lots more. So keep your eyes peeled, it's on its way. Since I came back, a war erupted. All I can say is-WOW!! A lot can happen in a couple of weeks. I don't support it, but it's undeniable that it was going to happen and we were going to have to do this sooner than later. In any event, here's to the boys and girls playing in the sand half a world away: come back safe. PEACE!! 02/24/2003 Slash is in the house, reporting live from Austin, TX. That's right, I took everyone's advice and got the fuck out (At least for the next day or so). It's been a day full of reunions ,and quite possibly, start some new relationships ; ). I'll be up here for the South By Southwest event that starts up in a couple of weeks, so keep wishing you were me, ass-suckers...... 02/18/2003 OK, so I actually got E-mail recently asking why I rag on reality shows and why I think they suck. It is mass marketed voyuerism period. It is packaged and sold like burgers, from T-shirts to action figures. I ask you, loyal webheads, why do you like it?? We have this flaccid fascination with exploring other people's lives. Sorry, but I hardly care about someone else's life when I myself have tons of things to worry about. So the nets can take back their washed-up superstars, sororities, pin-headed men, bleach-blond bimbos, real worlds, wanna-be pop stars and stick 'em up their filthy pig-fucking arses!! Some of these shows have some people that, at one time, I considered great, but who have sunk so low to be associated with this flavor of the month fad. Do people really want to lose that many brain cells? Is there something I didn't read into? Have our lives really become that shallow, to the point that we have to live vicariously through a TV character? Why do I hate reality shows? Because I have a life and they suck. 01/28/2003 Your recently unemployed host here. Yup, that's right, VERY recently unemployed (again). So that 'getting through this year better' banter I posted last month is totally null and void, baby boys and girls, because this may is the most wretched time I'm in now. Nothing I did thankfully.
Just that damn economy and all this talk of war in Iraq, so there isn't much call for cinnamon rolls right now. It was definitely a fun job though, but the rest is how the shit keeps hitting the fan over and over again. Oh well, like the song says "I WILL SURVIVE!!" Yours truly will be taking a much deserved vacation (if that, a long one) and will be around here more often with more of the same banter, rants and than some. See ya later..... 12/29/2002 For the few people who have been wondering where I've been lately, I've been playing Grand Theft Auto-Vice City and it rocks!! It's a bitch trying to get everything in it, but it's been just a blast to play. It definitely gets Slash's Game O' The Year Award. Speaking of which, Hope you're having a great holiday season so far and I wish you a Happy 2003. This year has been just wretched, so I can't wait to start this new year and hopefully get through it better. Amid all the stupidity we call life, here are some low-blows for these morons:
- People with road rage (I've got your signal right here.)
- Parent watchdog groups (Please take care of your own kids or go out and have some. Just stay out of our way!)
- People who blame Johnny Knoxville for their SELF INFLICTED pain and suffering (True Idiot Savants)
- People who can't take a joke (Nuff Said)
- Reality TV shows (Just shut the Fuck up!)
- Guns N Roses (Hurry with that fuckin' album already!!)
See ya, Vice City awaits....
