Martial Arts: The art of Assassination
(as provided by Buttphish: Mighty Fighter and Mighty Hunter)


1. First, use a special, mind-controlling subliminal television signal to render your opponent helpless.


2. This is your time to strike! Leap upon your opponent and perform a series of dual-fisted blows to the head and neck. This is very effective. As the picture displays, it is so easy that even a little girl can perform these lethal maneuvers.


3. Next, report in to your spymaster.


4. After reporting in, attempt to drive your hand in to your opponent’s head via the fleshy region under the mandible and wiggle your hand about. If possible make your fingers stick out of the opponent's mouth, this is funny.


Look very closely so as to get it correctly.


5. Then, suck the very breath from your opponent’s lungs while wiggling your hand inside your opponent’s head. Attempt to touch the brain if you can. In this figure our assassin has chosen to punch the target in the nose as well. Improvisation and creativity are encouraged so long as it involves injuring the opponent.


6. Remove your hand and choke your adversary with a two-fingered Chi-strike to the larynx while squeezing the skull.


7. The torso can be broken down into five regions. The left, middle, lower-middle, the "Mystery Zone" (upper right) and tummy.


8. Perform two-fisted Dim-Mak thrusts into the torso repeatedly. Do this just beneath the rib cage. This is extremely painful.


8. If you are discovered deny everything and attempt to look unreasonably bulky and menacing. If this fails to work, see figure one.



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