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This is a response to your advertisement on www.classifieds2000.com. ------------------------------------------------------

Female Seeking Male:

Hang Out,

25 y/o, 5 ft. 8 in. tall, San Francisco, CA,

 

http://www.classifieds2000.com/cgi-cls/ad.exe?P76+C180+R5426079 -------------------------------------------------------

 

 

I AM BUTTPHISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fortune has smiled upon you, for I have taken notice. I am extremely angry and unreasonable!

I have a confirmed IQ of 69 and 4 limbs.

With a word I can be spirited away to my orbital platform which is 13 light-seconds in diameter.

I have one penis, two testicles but no body hair.

I am an amphibian.

I was born with gills and can control gravity through a technique I use in which I browbeat mass into succumbing to my will.

I practice coercion on the atomic level.

Dwell upon this.

I may allow you to bear me strong sons.

I am the Quiztach Haderach of Funk,

The Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah.

I am the Chancellor of Germany,

I am the Pharaoh, Two-Ton Kamen; I'll eat ten chickens and a tub of top-Ramen.

I believe that I was not born with Ambiguous Genitalia, but I am not convinced entirely.

Fear me.

Buttphish, The Ever-Living

 

 

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