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From: "B -rad"
From: "Jenn Hunter" <nibblesthebrainrat@hotmail.com>
To: perfect_death@hotmail.com
Date: Tue, 04 Oct 2005 09:06:36 -0400
>Why did I change?
>That's almost too complicated for even me to know.
>What I do know though is that the world made things too hard for
>even me.
>Having one of your old best friend around and constantly reminding
>you that your boyfriend did this, or your boyfriend did that
>wouldn't be so bad if when I came to you, you actually said
>something otehr than "you know how I feel"
>Some things in life need explaination. I know you're a smart guy but
>there was never anything smart said towards me. You loved me and I
>loved you back. But the world just kept on wearing down on me. No
>matter how hard I tried to fight with the people around me and say
>"No, he is a good person" it was still too hard to do alone.
>Then towards the end there were so many akward gaps. The space
>between our conversations got bigger. We started filling empty space
>with sex, which started getting sloppy. I didn't know what to say to
>you anymore. It had been maybe half a month since you'd told me you
>loved me. I felt like you didn't need me around.
>So I freaked out.
>One night when I was going over it all in my head, I had a
>revolation. I realised how -not- ready I was for everything that was
>about to happen to us. I wasn't ready to watch it decay. And I knew
>I couldn't fix it.
>I realised I was better off being your friend, because then at least
>we could talk things out. And this way I'd stop fucking up your
>life, and hurting you. Which I'm apparently quite good at.
>I never meant for these things to happen. With brutal honestly you
>made me very happy when you were around. There were good times,
>Brad.
>Still, there are things someone can be, and thinsg someone cannot
>be. And I could never be the person just for you.
>I fucked it up.
>
>-Jenn
>
