CHAPTER 2

            It's over, finally. My whole body aches, but I just push it aside. I struggle half crawling up the stairs, slipping quietly into my bedroom, locking the door behind me. Ever so carefully, I slip my clothes off and let them fall to the bedroom floor. Standing in only my underwear, I stare at myself in the mirror. So many bruises, so many cuts and scrapes. I turn around slowly and look over my back, half of it was bruised, even bleeding in spots. I turned back around to face the mirror, looking myself over.

            After a couple minutes in front of the mirror, I slip into some new, looser clothing. Every time my clothing touches a bruise, my body erupts in pain. I must be careful. I sit on the edge of my bed and break down crying. How can I be so goddamn weak?! I can't even fight back, I just... sit there and take it! I know I should run, but I don't! I just freeze and take what's coming to be. Oh God why am I so weak and pathetic?! Just by sitting there, I deserve it. I deserve to be beaten!

            I shake my head violently as the thoughts keep repeating in my head. I deserve to be beaten! I'm crying uncontrollably now, my body is almost in convulsions as I lay on the bed, repeating in my head what had happened. I couldn't even talk, I couldn't say no. I must deserve it! I'm on my right side, crying too hard to notice how much it hurts laying on my bruised right shoulder and hip. All I can think of is how I deserved this.

            I suppose I had fallen asleep for a couple hours, since mom has to come wake me for dinner. The door is still locked, so she can't get in. I just hear her mumble something about getting downstairs or I don't eat. I roll onto my back without thinking and cry out in pain. I sit up quickly and remember the whole thing. Everywhere I touch hurts me, even breathing hurts me. I carefully swing my legs over the edge of the bed, making sure not to bump anything. I sit there for several minutes. So long that my mom comes back upstairs to yell and cuss at me.

             "Yeah, I'm coming!" I scream as I struggle to stand up, every step taken in agony.

            I opened the door to tell her I was on my way down, she gave me her trademark 'I told you so' look, "I told you, I said you'd be sorry. Now, get downstairs, dinner is done."

            My mom knew I was beaten, she was usually even part of it. No need to hide what's already known. I go to the bathroom for a minute and wash cold water over my face, trying to get the redness and burning out of my eyes and face. My eyes were so red, I couldn't believe it. You'd think I'd been doing drugs or something.

            I leaned against the railing as I carefully went downstairs, trying hard not jolt or bump anything. I forced myself to take the pain and walk normally to the kitchen table, I wasn't going to let them know how much they've hurt me. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it with water, and then joined them at the table. I sat normally, sending pain up my torso, but I made sure that I wasn't leaning against the back of the chair.

             My parents just looked at me, and my dad shook his head, "Look at all the trouble you caused. You're lucky we're letting you eat."

            I looked down at my plate and just stared at it for a minute, I didn't really want to eat anyway. My parents argued about something the whole way through dinner, but I wasn't paying much attention to them. I just sat there pushing the food around on the plate, taking a small bite every now and then to make it convincing. My stomach hurt just looking at it, I wasn't too sure what it was anyway. Was it alive at one time?

            "Just eat it, Taya, and stop playing with it!" my dad yelled at me as he stood up and took his plate to the sink.

            My mom turned to look at me, and then back at him, "Leave her alone, I'm surprised I ate this stuff!"

            My mom got up and grabbed her plate, and then took mine as well. I sat there with my fork still in my hands messing around with imaginary food for a couple of minutes. No I never intended to eat that, but I wasn't done with it yet. I watched my mom as she leaned over the sink cleaning the dishes. Dad left his mess in the sink and headed to the living room to watch television. Why was it always the woman’s job to do the cleaning? That never seemed right to me.

            "Mom," I said so low I didn't expect her to hear me, "I have a project for science that I need to have done by Wednesday, and it's a group project..."

             My mom just turned and looked at me, with her dripping wet hands hung over the sink, "A group project?"

            I couldn't believe that I was actually lying, to my mom, I could only imagine how much trouble I'd be in if she found out, "Yes, I have to work with Kira and Brandon, which means I'll be out of the house this weekend."

            My mom shook her head slightly, "They can't just let you do it on your own?"

            I shook my head back at her, "No, I don't pass the course if I don't get this project done."

            My mom looked at the floor shaking her head, and then looked me in the eyes, "I suppose so, if you have to. But you had better not tell then anything, or you'll be in trouble."

            I hid my smile until she walked out of the room, and then let it take over my face. She said yes! She actually said yes! This never happens! When I was a kid, I was never allowed to go to birthday parties or anything. I was allowed out of the house for school only. Not that it really mattered, I never had any real friends, no one that actually wanted to be my friend. Our parents would always play matchmaker and try to get me to hang out with other kids. I'm thirteen now, and I still don't have any real friends. But Brandon and Kira, maybe, could be.

            I quickly put my fork in the sink and grabbed the cordless phone. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been earlier. I walked as calmly as I could through the living room where my parents were watching television, "I need to call Kira and see when we're going to do this!"

            My dad gave my mom a questioning look, and then up at me as I walked up the stairs, "Wait! Who's Kira, and what are you doing?"

            I froze and looked down at them, "I have to do a school project this weekend, and it's a group project. I'm just calling to see what library we're going to meet at tomorrow."

            My dad gave my mom another look, she just shrugged her shoulders, and then hey both went back to watching television. Who says I can't lie? I seem to be doing a pretty good job of it now. I continued up the stairs and down the hall into my bedroom. With the door shut and locked behind me, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the paper. I read it three times again, just to make sure I got the right number, and then I dialed it.

            "Hello?" came a voice from the other end.

             "Hi, this is Taya, is Kira around?" I asked carefully, hoping I got the right number.

            I heard some rustling in the background, "Sure, hold on a second."

            I listened and laughed as I heard the woman yell for Kira to pick up the phone over the barking dog in the background, "Okay, she's got it."

            "Hello?" Kira asked as the first woman hung up the phone on her end.

            "Hey, it's Taya," I said, hoping she wouldn't forget what she told me earlier.

            "Taya! Coolie! What's up? Did it work?" she asked and then tried to quiet her dog in the background.

             I nodded, and then realized that she couldn't see me, "Yep, it worked."

            I could hear Kira scream slightly in excitement in the background, "Awesome! This is SO great, we'll have fun! Hold on... "

            "Hello?" came a voice from out of nowhere, it sounded male to me.

            "Guess what, Brand, Taya's good," Kira said to the voice that I was guessing was Brandon now.

           Brandon laughed slightly, "Ahh, you passed the first test now, didn't you Coolie?"

            I nodded again. It's hard not to do even when you know they can't see you, "Yeah, I did. They didn't question me too much, either. But they can't find out I was lying, they just can't."

            "Ahh chill out, they wont," Kira said as she laughed, "We each told our parents the same lie. We use this one all the time, too, and they haven't wised up to it yet."

            "Yeah, relax, we've got you covered. You'll have fun, trust me!" Brandon interrupted, "My parents are as protecting as they get, and they haven't figured this out either."

            "Okay, I'll try," I said as started playing with the piece of paper, "So, when are we doing this? Where are we meeting?"

            "I think we should meet at the Karbrook Library," Kira said, "Right Brandon? It's the closest library between the three of us."

            "Yeah, sounds good to me. Should be within walking distance for all of us, after that we've got a ride," Brandon said, "Adam will pick us up from the library at around nine o-clock."

            Kira laughed almost uncontrollably now, "Oh great, Adam again? Oh this will be fun!"

            "Hey!" Brandon said, "Adam is good. He can be... a little messed up at times, but he's still good!"

            Kira was still laughing, "Alright, alright. He's good to have around, especially since he's our only ride."

            "Is he... bad?" I asked cautiously.

            Kira laughed even harder, "No, no, no! He's great, really. It's just that last time, he um.. uh, got himself in a mess that involved the front page. It was actually pretty hilarious."

            "Hey! Okay, that's enough," Brandon interrupted, laughing slightly, "She doesn't need to hear everything now. She'll find out eventually."

            Kira forced herself to stop laughing, "Okay, okay... No more. So, who else is coming besides Adam?"

            "Hold on, let me check," Brandon said. I heard rustling in the background as he shifted through some papers, "Okay, Nick, Sam, Alex, Morgan, Taz and Mickey are coming too. It's going to be a full load, a whole lot of fun."

            Kira laughed again, "Oh my God, this will be our best adventure yet! You'll love it, coolie! Don't be late now, you hear? Dress warm, the city gets cold in the morning."

            I grinned wide without trying. I was half excited and half terrified, I didn't know any of these people, "Okay, who?"

            "High school students, coolie! They're awesome!" Kira said excitedly, "And I know for a fact that Mickey is single and looking, if you know what I mean?"

            I blushed without warning, "Okay, okay... Maybe."

            "So, see you tomorrow, coolie?" Kira asked expectantly.

            "Absolutely!" I said as I tried to control my excitement. A boy, for me? No...  Maybe?

            "See you tomorrow then! Get some sleep, you'll need it," Kira said as she hung up the phone.

            "Bye coolie, we'll catch up with you tomorrow. Don't forget, be at the library by nine," Brandon told me as I heard the phone click dead.

            I turned off the phone and set it down on the bed. This is it, this could really be it! Get some sleep? No, I was way too excited now! I wrote the time and place down on the paper so that I would be sure to remember, not that I thought I could. Nine in the morning, which means I'll have to be up and dressed by eight. I've walked to the library many times before, and it takes me just over half an hour to get there. I set my alarm for seven-thirty and put the paper down in front of it.

            I headed back downstairs to put the phone back, and to tell my parents. I forced the smile away from my face and tried to make myself think of my mountains of homework, "Okay, it's set. We're going to be meeting at the Karbrook Library at nine."

            "In the morning?!" my mom asked looking surprised.

             "Yes, in the morning," I said somewhat sarcastically.

            "How long are you planning on being out tomorrow, Taya?" my mom asked as she stood up and took the phone out of my hands.

           "Well," I said as I thought of what to say, "Should be until about dinner. We're going to get what we can from Karbrook, and then have one of their parents drive us around to the other libraries and see what else we can find. Then we have to go work on the project."

             My mom frowned deeply at me. I hoped that she wouldn't argue. She shook her head again as she set the phone on the coffee table and sat back down, "Alright, I suppose that’s okay. But don't be late! Do you need a ride to the library tomorrow?"

             I shook my head, "No, that's alright, I think I'll walk."

             She nodded again. Dad's face never left the television. This was one of the first night I had seen them watching television without some type of alcohol to complete it. I walked back upstairs and into my bedroom. I grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom to set them out for the next morning. I made sure that I had everything I could possible need out and ready, I wouldn't want to be late. I was so excited, I knew I wouldn't sleep much, but I decided I'd try anyway. I may actually be entering the social life.

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