CHAPTER 15

It's been several months now since Brandon and Kira have showed up, and they adjusted really well. Brandon seemed to break off and become one of Dylan's group, and Kira of course just hung out with Katie and I. Katie and Kira got along very well, and I was glad. Katie and Kira became known in the gang as K.K., and never left each others side. I was back to just tagging along behind. Kira knew all about the drugs, so there was never any problem when one of them decided they wanted a hit.

It's been just over a year, and I'm surprised that I haven't been taken back yet. I'm not sure I like it here, but I don't hate it either. I'm the outcast now, with Katie branching off with Kira. I tend to hang out in the background and remain silent. I haven't really said much of anything but one word responses, and I'm starting to wonder if a person can forget how to talk. Aidan found himself a new girl, one of the other girls I've never really met.

I've actually found some decent friends outside of the gang, and spend a lot of time hanging out with them. The rest of my gang doesn't seem too worried, since we're in the middle of our territory. Kira and Katie are out frequently dealing drugs or prostitution, and I end up hanging out at the beach doing speed or some other fun drug with my group. Who'd have thought my life would end up this way, moving between drugs and alcohol constantly. I'm not sure when the last time was that I was in full control.

It's a nice and warm day, I can feel it as I walk to the beach with the bright sun shining. The big problem with these days was that we'd have to be extremely careful with how much we do, since the beaches are likely to be packed full of people. We enjoy it the most with overcast and a constant cold breeze. Cold weather seems to scare people away from the beach like the plague.

I finally reach the beach and run up to the group that's already gathering at the south end of the beach along the abandoned piers, a common area for us to hang out. The local authorities have tried to keep these piers clear of people, but seemed to have given up months ago. The cops have never shown up on us, as many times as we've been here. I'm not sure if it's comforting or depressing that people have given up on us. The abandoned youth of today are the leaders of tomorrow, and no one seems to care.

I run along the wet sand along the waterline to the group, letting the cool water hit my jeans and soak them from the knees down to my feet. The water feels wonderful, even though it is somewhat cold. I can see that several others have already entered the water and are far more wet than I am. The whole group is here today, I'm surprised.

Nick walks up to me, his shirt off and his pants dripping wet, and gives me a high five, "What the hell took you so long?!"

I squeezed his hand in mid-air and took the tiny bag out of his hand discretely, "I was a little high last night, so I overslept."

Nick shakes his head at me and lays his arm across my shoulder, "Taya, Taya, Taya . . . what are we going to do with you? You're probably better at this than we are."

I reached in my pocket and with one hand opened the small plastic back, taking the pill out and popping it in my mouth, "No way, I'm just learning from the best."

Nick and I walk back to the group that's now sitting around in a circle on the hot sand, talking and waiting for the drugs to hit. I've always wondered what they'd all be like if they were clean, would they still be just as fun to be with? I glance over at Marshall who has taken off his wet shirt and starts to chase everyone around snapping them with it. I just sit and laugh as Jessica half runs, and half falls, into the water. She takes off her shirt, getting loud applause and whistles from her audience, and begins chasing Marshall around.

All at once we're all pouring into the water like a bunch of sea-starved penguins, hitting the cold water without hesitation. I don't really care much about getting wet, seeing as how I came ready, and have my bikini on underneath. From the looks of everyone stripping their clothes off, they'd come ready as well. Jessica, Mandy, Kelly and I are the only females out of about twenty-seven people. We know how to get their attention.

The four of us leave the water and head back up the beach to lay back and enjoy the rare clear sky and warm weather. Jessica and Kelly both have eating disorders from the look of it, and my whole group already knows about my cutting, which makes all this a whole lot easier on me. Hard to hide the scars in a bikini. Mandy seems almost perfect, though, aside from her drug addictions. The four of us have become social outcasts, and wear the title proudly.

"So,” I say as I lean back onto my elbows and crack my neck, "You think they'll drown each other?"

Kelly turns around so that she's facing the water, and lies down on her stomach, "Who knows, they're probably too stoned to even know that they're drowning."

Mandy sits down to the left of me after carefully laying out a bright yellow beach towel to lay on. She reaches over her shoulders and starts a CD, turning it up so loud that the guys on the water cheer. The stereo sitting carefully on several beach towels and sheltered under a giant beach umbrella has been through a lot already.

Mandy looks over at me, "Papa Roach?"

I grin wide and nod at her, "Papa Roach is great."

I love Papa Roach more than all others. Knowing the lyrics to the songs helped a lot as well, since I can relate to them. The songs mean more when you know the lyrics and can feel and understand the emotions behind it. The desperation, anger, sadness . . . it's all too familiar to me. I have lyrics to all of my favorite songs on a piece of paper stuck in my book of poems.

Jessica lays out her giant purple towel, carefully brushing off any sand. I almost laugh as I watch her try to get it all off, only to drag more of it on. She gives up after a few minutes, reaching into the cooler and taking out a diet soda and two celery sticks. I watch as she breaks them into small pieces and eats them one by one very slowly.

Kelly looks over at me, and then to Jessica, shaking her head, "You will remember to wait fifteen minutes before entering the water, now, wont you?"

Jessica frowned and threw a piece of her celery at Kelly, "Shut up!"

Kelly stared at the guys as they dunked each other over and over, "Man, if somebody dunked me, I'd beat the crap out of them."

"You'd beat the crap out of anyone, Kelly,” Jessica said as she ate one last piece of celery and threw the rest of it out, "You'd beat up the pope if you had the chance."

Kelly grinned, "Anytime, anywhere. No one had better mess with me."

I knew Kelly had an eating disorder since she told me so, but you couldn't tell it from looking at her. She was well built and looked like she could bench press a truck. She had dark brown hair that I found myself getting jealous over several times. It's not easy being a blonde. You could tell just by looking at Jessica, you could count her ribs just by looking at her. I wish I could help, but she refuses it. Says if her parents don't notice, then I shouldn't worry.

Mandy switches CDs, playing some Good Charlotte, another one of my favorites. Especially the song The Young and the Hopeless, it's just too perfect for us. With the song starting, the rest of the guys start heading up the beach. Mandy turns up the music and stands up, pulling Kelly, Jessica and I up with her. This was our theme song. Brett passes around some speed, getting us going. With the extra boost, we dance around like there was no tomorrow.

The last thing I remembered was Mandy passing around the alcohol as the sun began to go down, and how I drank and drank until I eventually blacked out. When I woke up the next morning I felt horrible, and found myself and half of the group sleeping in the sand under the pier. The cool morning was overcast, causing me to shiver like crazy. I felt the effects of the hangover, though they weren't as strong as normal.

I tried to wake Mandy up but didn't have any luck. Everyone was still out cold, the sun wasn't even up yet. I turned the light on my watch on and saw that it was only around four in the morning, still way to early for me to be awake, but I was too cold to go back to sleep. Plus, I knew that I may get in trouble for not showing up last night, and that's not something I wanted. I tried to pull on my clothes, only to find that they were still cold and damp, so I decided to just carry them with me.

I wasn't too sure how out of place I would look walking along the streets at four in the morning in my bikini, but there was no way I was putting on those clothes. The beach made it seem like I was on some deserted island, lacking any sign of humans. Only the occasional bush or tree broke the infinite look of the sand.

The roads made the town look like a ghost town, with not much more than one car in sight the whole way. The windows were dark, and everything was quiet. Not even the dogs were barking. I was lucky I had my sandals with me, so that I didn't have to walk barefoot across unknown footing. I couldn't tell where the sidewalk ended and the road began. I ended up tripping several times, even scraping myself fairly well on one fall, where I completely missed the step up onto the curb.

I wasn't even sure where the house was now, I was still under the effects of something, and found that I was extremely confused. I began to wonder whether or not I should go back to the beach, deciding not to when I realized that I couldn't remember which direction it was in. For the first time in a long time, I'd reached the point of panic. I froze as I tried to figure out where I was by looking at the colorless, dark houses. The street signs weren't even legible.

I stood in one spot for a while, watching two cars pass by without slowing. I was lost, very lost. How can someone be so lost in the middle of a familiar city? I finally decided to keep moving instead of waiting for the sun to come up. I'd just keep moving until I eventually ran into something I recognized, and then I'd be fine. The rout back wasn't too long, so I should be home soon.

After an hour I found myself more lost than I thought I ever could be. The distance between the beach and our home was only about fifteen minutes by foot, and I'd gone for much longer than that. I almost began to have a panic attack as I stood still, realizing that I'd crossed the boundaries of our territory, and not knowing which way to go. I was in a bikini still, my tattoo clearly displayed for anyone to see. I began having images of some war scene where I'd crossed the line into dangerous territory and just stood still as I waited for the bullets to start flying.

The sun was just barely coming up, showing a dull white line on the horizon. I begged and pleaded for it to come higher so that I could see, but it of course didn't move. I saw four shadows in the distance headed in my direction. My heart started racing as I debated on whether or not to run or stay. I was like a deer caught frozen in the headlights of oncoming doom, just waiting for the impact of the hit.

I could see that they were from The Tags, and knew that I was in for some pain. As they neared ten feet I finally gathered the strength to run, and dropping my clothes on the ground, I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction, only to get tackled to the ground by two men. I hit hard, but struggled against them, ignoring the pain. I was going to be beaten to death out in the open and I couldn't do anything about it. There were now six men on me, all of them putting all of their effort into beating me into submission.

After a couple seconds of being beaten, I stopped struggling and concentrated on my breathing. The left side of my chest hurt so much when I breathed, that I had to keep reminding myself to take a breath. My face felt like it was on fire, and the rest of my body just ached. I could taste blood strongly in my mouth, but couldn't do much more than spit it out.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?!" said one man as he pressed a knife to my throat.

"Taya . . . I got lost," I said as I struggled to breathe, "I didn't know where I was."

The man looked up at another, and then back down at me and shook his head, "You crossed the line, now you've got to pay."

"Yeah, you'll pay, " another man responded as I was hit over the head with something hard, and knocked unconscious.

            When I finally regained consciousness, I realized that I was no longer in familiar territory. I was tied up in a dark room, with only a small amount of light spilling in from beneath the door. I could tell I was in some sort of closet or small space. I hit the wall in every direction as I tried to struggle out of my restraints. They were too tough, and my body was hurt so much that there was no real way to get out. Despite the fact that I couldn't escape, I couldn't stop trying.

             I froze and held my breath as I heard someone on the other side of the door. I could hear at least two men talking to each other, and I wasn't sure whether or not to call for help, or to stay silent. I didn't have to make that decision, it was made for me. The door was pulled open in front of me and I was dragged out.

            "Well, well, well, look at what the cat dragged in," said one of the men who was standing over me with a knife held to the side of my neck.

            The other man came over and just stared down at me, "It's just trash."

            "Well," replied the other one as he pulled me to my feet, "she was good."

            My feet almost gave out from under me as I put weight on my legs, sending a stabbing pain through my left knee, and a dull, aching pain through my right ankle. My arms and shoulders were throbbing, from being pulled so tightly behind me. I didn't want to move, but I didn't have a chance. All of a sudden they tied a blindfold over my eyes and led me out of the room.

             I could hear a bunch of people yell and should at each other and at me as I was pulled along. I couldn't do anything when they started throwing things at me, and was forced to take it. I knew I was on the other side of the line now, and was worried about where they were taking me, and for what reason.