Graphics - A Whole Lot Of Office Furniture - Since you're playing from the point of view of a fake real life stock broker you're sure as hell not going to be seeing many flying Medusa heads or evil twins. Grow up already. It's time to drink coffee while you stare at your desk and pretend to do work.

Control - Point And Click - Considering it's the 21st century and this is an internet website and not a picture of a dick carved onto a tree I'm assuming you've mastered the once bewildering computer mouse. Back in 1990 no one knew how this fucking game worked.

Challenge - Stocks Hurt My Fucking Head - I'm so glad I'm not a stock broker or else I'd be the laughing stock of Wall Street. Maybe I keep losing because I keep investing all of my money into cotton candy mining. Stanley told me it was foolish, but I was too stubborn to listen. At least this game helped me to realize my limitations in life.

Gameplay - Bored To Death - When I'm not cowering in fear of another pushy phone call from my real estate agent, I'm getting rejected by some bitch who's apparently allergic to fun. Jesus, one ride on the bumper cars isn't going to give you a god damn urinary tract infection. There are other mundane activities for you to do if you're really that devoid of an actual life but I don't feel like describing them. I've already wasted enough of my time playing Wall Street Kid, I'm not going to waste more by telling you about all the fun I had reading an article about a fake rock band in a Nintendo newspaper.

Word On The Wall Street - "Mr. Benedict groped my ass at a Christmas party twenty years ago. I was so flattered that I gave him a handjob in the boiler room. I'll miss him." - Burt Reynolds