Super Dodge Ball - Basically, dodge ball is the only sport that's ever mattered. The fact that it isn't included in the Olympics is a testament to how fucking gay the Olympics actually are. What better way to prove you're the world's greatest nation than to pelt little kids with volleyballs until they drop dead? You can shove Curling and Synchronised Swimming up your Bobsledding asses. This is the sport of the sadistic grade school gods.
Graphics - Fat Kids With Big Heads - Fucking fantastic. Unfortunately, limbs and torsos seem to flicker in and out of existence from time to time but that's just because dodge ball's too cool to rest entirely in one dimension. It takes at least five dimensions, including one ruled by colostomy bags with British accents and two with zombie monster trucks.
Control - Decent - Being a chubby ten year old boy does have some disadvantages. Mostly just the other kids calling you Mikey Man Tits in the shower. It's even worse when you're bald and have Leukemia, like Bill. God really hates him.
Challenge - Very Easy - Was there ever any doubt that the U.S. dodge ball team would be victorious? We have all the top dodge ball stars on our side. Sam, Bill, Steve, and fucking Randy. Randy can throw a ball so god damn hard it'll send little Mao flying around the world and return back to the stadium in a matter of seconds. I can't imagine the horror I'd feel if I saw a flying Chinese boy passing by while screaming and crying about dodge balls. Yeah, you don't want to fuck with that kind of power.
Gameplay - I Love To Make Little Kids Cry - Throw a ball forty feet into the air, watch it land on some fat-headed kid from Iceland, and laugh as his head splits open on the ice and his teammates wipe the freezing tears from their bleeding battered faces. Team U.S.A. doesn't fuck around. When we win we'll party on the remains of your land and play grab ass until the break of dawn.
Communism Got - Served.
