Graphics - Decent - The title screen features the best graphics, the rest of the game looks pretty average. Most of the backgrounds are just some generic brown hallway. Every once in a while you might wander into a hallway that's red or green though. If you're really lucky, you'll find a completely new room like the cafeteria or the library. Nothing spells hilarity like a food fight with some zombies.

Control - Okay - The control is basically borderline shit.

Challenge - Mostly Easy - Most people seem to think you only get three lives and no continues to complete the game, but that's not true. You actually get unlimited continues without any tricks at all. Whenever you get a game over and you're taken back to the title screen just press start and you'll be back at the beginning of the game with all your stuff. If the game's still too hard for you just use the locker trick and you'll be completely invincible. You'll also be a pathetic sissy as well, but don't let that stop you. Fucking sissy.

Gameplay - Average - I don't know why I like this game as much as I do, it's really nothing special. It has a confusing layout and it's not all that fun or exciting either. You never really know what you're supposed to do, you just wander around aimlessly hoping you'll find something new. The only thing I can say I really like about the game is the odd assortment of weapons. You get a towel, a few guns, embalming fluid, a god damn sandwich, and a few other things as well. The weapons in this game kick so much ass that it makes up for the mediocre gameplay. You wouldn't believe how much better a game can be simply by including a device called the Spinal Zap. I also liked the strange enemies. There's a cyclops chef, a dancing spinal chord, some mechanic monkeys, and what game would be complete without a giant floating heart? The coolest character of all is the demon janitor though, he just minds his own business and mops the floors. What a great guy.

If River City Ransom And Castlevania Mated - This would be the result... if it were born a few months premature.