You Know What?! The Easter Bunny Isn't Real! It's Just Some Guy In A Suit!
Here's the review for Mallrats and some other movies I recommend but was too damn lazy to write reviews for them...
Mallrats
- Starring: Jeremy London, Jason Lee, Claire Forlani, Joey-Lauren Adams, Shannon Doherty, Ben Affleck
- T.S. and Brandi seem to be so much in love, until the day before Brandi’s father’s big game show. It turns out that Brandi has to take the place of the bachelorette because the original had a stroke in a swimming pool. (T.S. told her that TV cameras make you look 10 lbs. heavier, and according to Brandi, the girl had "the fattest ass” in high school). Brandi gets upset with T.S. that she breaks up with him, and now T.S. is sad. T.S.’s friend Brodie is about to get dumped as well. His girlfriend Renee gets so sick of having sex with him and sneaking around behind his mother’s back, she writes him a letter and dumps him then and there. Both being spurned by their respective ex’s, Brodie comes up with the perfect solution: THE MALL.
- Coincidentally, Brandi’s father’s game show is being built at that very mall, so T.S. and Brodie call upon Jay and Silent Bob to do some damage to the stage. Along the way, they meet up with Trish the Dish, a super brilliant 15 year old who has sex with men and tapes the acts in order to get research for a book she’s writing; Willem, who has a bit of trouble with Magic Eyes; Gwen, T.S.’s ex- girlfriend-turned-good-friend and Renee’s best friend; and Shannon, the owner of Fashionable Male, and quite possibly Brodie’s worst enemy. Jay and Silent Bob have their work cut out for them with LaFours, the security guard that lets nothing get by him.
- I give this movie three and a half stars. I love Jay and Silent Bob, and Willem is hilarious in this movie. “WHEN DO I GET TO SEE THE SAILBOAT???”. And of course, you can’t go wrong with a good, old-fashioned Stink-Palm…
Other Movies I Recommend!
- Better Off Dead
- American History X
- Meet The Parents
- Scarface
- Goodfellas
- Kurt and Courtney
- Weird Science
- Reservoir Dogs
- Half-Baked
- Tommy Boy
- Taxi Driver
- Velvet Goldmine
- Ocean’s Eleven
- The Royal Tenenbaums
- Shallow Hal
- Metroland
- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
- Dogma
- Billy Madison
- Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory
- Swingers
- Ghost World
- Death To Smoochy
- A Streetcar Named Desire
- Election
- Orgazmo
- Both Harry Potter movies
- High Fidelity
- About Schmidt
- Last Man on Earth