My name is Marla.
Marla SINGER.
And no, I'm not a fucking musician- the only thing I SING is the theme from Valley of the Dolls.
Sometimes I think my tit's gonna rot off.
Other times I'd like to have an abortion.
Scared yet?
This will knock you on your fucking ass:
I have testicular cancer.
See ya around, you fucking freak!
If you're still here, you're one sick fuck.
You just wanna fuck me, which is ok.
But my boyfriend Tyler has some serious mental problems...problems for which he should seek professional help, and he'll beat the shit out of you if you try to get in my goddamn pants (that is, if I WORE pants):
I like to wear knee-high black lace-up boots and dirty dresses from the Goodwill.
My boyfriend's name is Tyler Durden. I'm SURE you've heard of him.
He likes to burn his own flesh with lye...
He also runs this organization for disillusioned men called FIGHT CLUB...I think they mighta made a movie based on this shit- maybe you've seen it
He's in jail right now for blowing up a bunch of fucking buildings, although technically he was not responsible, but I'm paying his goddamn bail next week.
Yes, a dirty poor chick like me has money- it's called stripping.
Yes, for one pathetic night of my life, I stripped- made millions- only because I have some great tits.
Or so Tyler has told me.
They're not bitch tits like poor Bob's though.
I shop at thrift stores...I make my own outfits most of the time.
I go to support groups in my spare time...well, ALL of the time actually since Tyler's been in the fucking pen.
Do you wanna see some REALLY fucked-up people? Go to Debtors Anonymous.
I live my life as if I could die at any minute...the only tragedy is that I don't.
I'm a chainsmoker and proud of it. I know they give you cancer and all that bullshit, so save yourself the fucking lecture.
I had some great sex in grade school.
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is gurgle with coffee- sounds kinda sick, but it's actually refreshing as hell.
I'm on Zanax...sometimes when I want attention I take the whole bottle...but I'm not fucking suicidal or anything.
When I'm short on money, I steal my food from Meals on Wheels.
When people treat me like shit, I borrow money from them and never pay it back- I consider it "asshole tax".
I live in a crummy apartment...513 if you wanna stop by- I'll show you my dildo and my plastic mattress.
|
Read
my Dreambook! Sign my Dreambook! |
|
Nudie Photos of Me (not really, but it's catchy, ain't it?)
Fucking Freaky Things I Like To Say
