"When we started out, my dad didn't buy me a guitar and we didn't have a van, so we couldn't tour the country."

"Usually, people don't expect you to talk to them, but we try to be real with all our fans. If they give us a compliment, we'll say thank you. If they say something that's disrespectful, we'll tell 'em to shut up."

"I just don't think that we're anything special; what we have special to offer is the songs and the lyrics. There's no Brad Pitt in our band."

"If we play a Nickelback video, I find a way to relate it to NOFX." -talking about how he and Joel try to promote the bands they admire on "All Things Rock"

"Piercings... I'm not too big on the piercings. I might let some of them close up."

"I'm not a big fan of the internet. I check in every once and a while to see what's going on. I'm not going to waste my time on the message board to defend myself."

"Whenever we have to play a video that I don't like I blame it on Joel." -talking about the videos they play on "All Things Rock"

"It doesn't scare me, it just makes me go, 'why are you like that?' That's just weird, you know?" -talking about overly obsessive fans

"I don't like it when people get attached to a certain style, or type of clothing.. that's why I don't have the [liberty] spikes anymore. It's about the music, man!"

"Joel listens to it and just cries, and sobs...tears of heartbreak." -talking about Joel recommending the Dashboard Confessional CD on "All Things Rock"

"I’m going to go walk … into traffic."

"Hold up, we were just singing about how poor we are and his cell phone rings!"

"Benjiness- I have my own adjective!"

"I’m going to relish in all my ‘Benjiness’!"

"Hold on, you can make fun of me when I finish making my point!"

"Mother says I need to try and look more respectable"

"This is the get better sign!"

"We rented a car while here at the studio and I already put a huge scratch on the side."

"I’m the self-proclaimed leader of the band. Self-proclaimed!"

"Keep representin' GC 'cause you know we're representin' you."

"Benji is life...all the rest is just details... Life is Benji"

"You know who else likes making out? Sum 41. I know first-hand... Or my friend does..."

"Getting beat." -on his best childhood memory

"Have we ever murdered a boy band? YES! There was a band called P-Town, and we shot them!"

"I knew that all this would happen. From the day we started the band I knew--not in a cocky way, but it was just a feeling. A very comforting feeling. So it was exciting when it happened and it was, like, amazing, and it was really crazy, but it wasn't unexpected."

"Uh, my name’s Benji... I grew up in Waldorf. Single white male. Enjoys long walks on the beach. In search of someone sensitive and caring for conversation, friendship, possible serious relationship, coffee, or a good book."

Interviewer: Can you dance?
Benji: I can freak.

"Hey, guys, I have some bad news for you. We were backing out of the parking lot and I think we ran over Lil Bow Wow. Sorry, our bad!"

Interviewer: Would you ever consider turning in your instruments to learn choreography and become a boy band?
"Umm... after you shot me in the head."

"When I meet girls I like, I throw up on them!"

"That's funny, we were just talking about sex!"

"This is a sweet song, it's for the guys of MxPx. 'Cause one night, I was having a real tough night. One of the guys from MxPx invited me on his bus. He helped me out a lot, yeah, he held me all night long."

"Yeah, on our day off we went to Disney for our first time and Joel was like a little kid. He was like 'Come on guys we have to hurry to Space Mountain!' And this morning when I walked in the bathroom, I swear I heard him singing 'When You Wish Upon A Star.'"

"I have a confession to make: I love making out. It's fun and innocent. And besides, you can't get pregnant from making out."

"Joel, your gloves SUCK!"

"I'm gonna go... walk... into traffic."

"This is the makeout song. Although you should ask the person first, 'cause I've had some troubles with that before." -(during Seasons)

"I haven't taken a shower in 4 days, I guess that makes me more punk."

"I always got caught. One time, I actually got spanked for something Joel did."

"Hold on, you can make fun of me when I’m done making my point."

"I fell off the stage and all my clothes fell off! And I wet my pants... but they fell off, so I couldn't wet them, so it must have been the kid standing next me."

"If I wasn't in the band, I'd be in jail."

"Because I care, because I love you. Because it's a must. Because, BECAUSE YOU NEED CLEAN SOCKS!" -(to Joel)

"Hooked on Phonics worked for me!"

"One time we went around the neighborhood and stuck all the mailbox flags up! Or, or there was this one time we drove up to fast food places, ordered tons of food, paid for it, then drove off before we got it."

Interviewer: Benji, with all your piercings, have you gotten your 'Prince Albert' done?
Benji: (laughs)... Who is Prince Albert?

Little Kid: Hey Benji, will you sign my report card?
Benji: (looks around trying not to laugh) Wow, that's really good.

"I am thinking about getting a job here." -(about Wet Seal)

"When we do fight it's not about things we think we'd fight about like, music. It's about like, I'll wear Joel socks and he'd be like, *Benji imitating Joel* Dude…dude… I told you not to wear my socks, dude… You know I like my socks… Benj!…Dude…Oh are those my boxers too?…Dude ohhh… Ohh do you have to go there…Dude… Dude! Then we're like in the studio in this really important part of the song and I'll be like 'what do you think we should do?' I don't care… are those my boxers? Dude!"

"They used to call him Joely Moley"

"Me fail english? That's unpossible!!"

"C'mon everyone, put your hands in the air and sway them back and forth. Let's get a big hippie, we are the world thing going on"

"Look!!...There's Joel!...There's the other one!"

"Avril's not as bad as everyone thinks, I should know- I met her."

"We don't really consider ourselves a punk rock band. Punk rock is supposed to be anti-clique, but these days, even punk rock has gotten cliquey."

"Christina Aguilera tried to make out with me...and i shut her down!" -Benji immitating Joel

"We stole all of Paul's clothes and made him play naked"

"We're all gonna run around naked and make animal noises"

"If I wasn't in the band I'd be in jail."

"My last name is rock n' roll...actually my last name is scum (get it benji scum, if you dont say it really slow)"

"Yea we got kicked out of Limp Bizkit...yeah who's laughing now?? huh??"

"Bonjour biatch!" ...."Au revoir biatch!"

"We're gonna start things off with Joel's favorite song "Hero" from Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott"

"Whenever we get back we have more videos for you including The Strokes, Sevendust, and Joel and I are gonna have a fist fight"

"For a complete list of tour dates, go on MTV.com but wait till we go to a commercial or Joel starts talking, cause he goes on."

"Does it piss you off...? That men are better than women!?"

"This is my show. I'm Benji, this is my little helper Joel."

"It must be real tough to be a punk rocker in Wisconsin, you get chased by rednecks and stuff."

"Punk Rockers Have Feelings Too!"

Benji: "Everyone say Happy Birthday to Angry Dave!"

Crowd: "Happy Birthday Angry Dave!"

Benji: "Yeah, It's our friends birthday so this song goes out to him" (Said before "The Motivation Proclamation" during the show in Milwaukee on July 24, 2002.)

"My ass smells like Joel."

"One time, I ripped Joel's nipples off!...One time I pierced Paul's butt cheeks together."

"I got all the hos."

"If you don't shut up, I'm gonna... suck your balls!"

"These guys are slackers, they won't be as hard on these girls. They're too caught up in their looks. I'll be hard on these girls. Not clean enough - keep cleanin'!"

"Yeah I'm not really horny, inside joke I guess, Joel's singing."

"People are asking me if I have a new piercing, and yeah I do, it's basically on my upper lip area....haha if you thought it was somewhere else then you're just wrong."

"Joel got a new haircut and he likes it sooo yeah...there's nothing I can do about it.....I'm joking, we all like it."

The radio guy: "Don't you need someone in the band? Maybe to play triangle?" Benji: "We need a towel boy, someone who would take care of us when we're playing and we are sweaty."

The radio guy: "You've got very different styles in clothing." Benji: "We have different styles in our bedrooms as well."

(beeps bicycle horn) "That's what my horn on my car sounds like."

"Some people say I'm the best thing that as ever happen to them...so thank you"

"I'm the sexier twin"

"Girls throw themselves at me 24/7...seven days a week, can't complain."

"Girl, these butterflies don't lie"

"These guys are slackers, they won't be as hard on these girls. They're too caught up in their looks. I'll be hard on these girls. Not clean enough - keep cleanin'!"

"Yeah I'm not really horny, inside joke I guess, Joel's singing."

"People are asking me if I have a new piercing, and yeah I do, it's basically on my upper lip area....haha if you thought it was somewhere else then you're just wrong."

"Joel got a new haircut and he likes it sooo yeah...there's nothing I can do about it.....I'm joking, we all like it."

The radio guy: "Don't you need someone in the band? Maybe to play triangle?" Benji: "We need a towel boy, someone who would take care of us when we're playing and we are sweaty."

The radio guy: "You've got very different styles in clothing." Benji: "We have different styles in our bedrooms as well."

(beeps bicycle horn) "That's what my horn on my car sounds like."

"I still can't sleep at night..knowing that clowns will eat me..ok not really but yeah."

"Have you seen my baseball? And don't f***ing mess with my ears..haha"

"What the?? The d*** voices are talking."

"I think Chris had the most fun. He loves to break things."

"Wake up in the morning, and there's an old lady offering me cereal in my MADE t-shirt. Thought kids would get a kick outta that."

"Cash will be in as many videos as we can have him in, cause he's a star. He's a great dog."

"Ugh, get away!" (after Tony from Mest tries to kiss him)

Benji: "The Rock, Joel's favorite wrestler, Joel's got a life size picture of him on his wall. Wait, it's on your ceiling isn't it?" Joel: "Shut up Benji...just shut up..."

"They symbolize that I can do what I want. They ensure that I will never work a regular job." (on his tattoos and piercings)

"Getting beat." (on his best childhood memory)

I fell off the stage and all my clothes fell off! And I wet my pants... but they fell off, so I couldn't wet them, so it must have been the kid standing next me."

"I bet they did the dirty-dirty! Go Justin, go Justin!"

"Mother says I need to try to look more respectable."

"I have to go do MY nails now!"

"You know, I just like to keep it all in the family." (after being accused of relations with Joel)

"He's (Jordan Pundick) just mad because when I stayed at his house and his mom was saying goodnight to us and she leaned to give us goodnight kisses her boob popped out. I look the same always. Jordan was just mad cause I was laughing so hard all night. Big nipples run in the family........"

Thanks to Glynis for the last 2 quotes!

"We're gonna go backstage and make a sandwich" -on "All Things Rock" when he and Joel were talkin about the place where Korn shot their video

"Anarchy in the UK, man." -on "All Things Rock" when he and Joel were talking about Tom Morello and how he was supporting the Anti-Flag project

"I can disappear, watch!" *gets up out of his seat and leaves*