List of characters
Liam-singer of Oasis, brother to Noel
Gertrude-fictional character
Noel-lead guitarist of Oasis, brother to Liam
Peggy-mother to Noel and Liam
One Sunday in 1997 while Noel was writing the Be Here Now album:
One day Liam was in the pub, as like any other day. When a hot lady walked in, she had flame red hair and sparkling saphire eyes.
She walked up to the bartender.
"Give me a beer." the lady said.
She looked at Liam. "You're so hot!" she exclaimed.
"I know, love." Liam replied.
She smiled at him, he notices her yellow teeth with crud between every tooth. Liam is extremely confused.
"What your name, love?" Liam asked.
"Gertrude." she ansewered. "That's too bad!" Liam said sadly.
"What's yours?" Gertrude asked.
"Liam, that's a tops name, isn't it? I have lots of fans who are mad for it!" Liam exclaimed proudly.
"Oh, what band are you in?" Gertrude asked.
"What's wrong with you? You don't know the very best band in the world?" Liam said, disgusted.
"I listen to polka." Gertrude said. "Polka?!?!? That's for grandpa's." Liam said, now appalled by this lady.
"YOU'RE SUCH A TEASER!!" Gertrude said in an ugly, scratching, screaming vioce.
Liam decided at that moment that this girl was not good enough for him, that he could do better, much, much better. He ran out the door and she chased after him (in slow motion.) "YOU'RE SUCH A TEASER, YOU'RE SUCH A TEASER, YOU'RE SUCH A TEASER!!!" Gertrude continued to yelled after Liam.
Liam headed in the direction of Noel's house since its closest to the pub, which Liam is jealous of.
Meanwhile, in Noel's house. . .
While Noel was eating a pot roast dinner after he had made after Peggy had called him to ask if he had been eating properly. Liam comes running in to Noel's kitchen and falls to the floor on his hands and knees and fainted from exhaustion. Noel was sitting at the table and heard: "You're such a teaser!" Noel got up and goes to the door and see Gertrude yelling at Liam sayind: You're such a teaser! He slammed the door shut an leaned against it breathing heavily.
After Liam woke up from his faint. . .
He told Noel the story about the scary and werid lady, Gertrude.
"I'm glad I wasn't at the pub today. Man, I have to go throw up, something was wrong with that pot roast." Noel said.
THE END
