Hello, and welcome back to driving school.  This is not intended 
for the 16 year old eager to get their license, although it 
couldn't possibly hurt.  No, this is geared more toward the 
guy in the junky piece of shit 1972 Pinto that thinks he can pull 
out in front of me and not cause me to slam on my brakes and 
almost wreck into his slow ass.  (You know who you are.)  This 
is geared toward the geriatric population that, sweet as they 
may be, CAN'T DRIVE!!  Get off the damn road!!!  And many, many 
others.  Please read the rules of the road, as follows.  
These will become law in many places, very soon. Right after I 
take over the world.


1. Please people, I can't stress this enough.  Go the
speed limit.  At least.

2. Do not go to a busy intersection with only a 2 way stop sign and
try to turn left at rush hour.  A little thought beforehand, 
and almost any left hand turn can be rerouted and made at a light.  
Even if this means that you go a block further than needed, 
you will save yourself and everyone else time by going to the light.

3.  If you are over 65 years old, you probably do not need to be 
driving.  You only get in my way on the road.  Sorry, but I've 
been late sooooo many times because I'm behind some 90 year old 
couple that can't see over the steering wheel and they are going 
25mph in a 55mph zone.  You know who you are.

4.  Obviously, drinking and driving don't mix.  This has been said 
over and over, so stop already!

5.  Q: If car A is a late model family mobile, and car B is a 20 
year old hunk of junk, can car B pull out directly in front of car 
A when it is going 60 mph and not interrupt car A's progress? 
    A: NO, OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOTS!!

6.  If I give you the bird and honk at you, look at me dammit!!

7.  You litter does not belong on the side of the road, aimed 
at street signs or on my windsheild.

8.  Pay attention, that way you won't have to come to a screeching 
halt, causing everyone behind you to do the same.

9.  The mirror behind your visor is not for applying makeup at 70 mph.

10.  TURN SIGNALS.  That's all I have to say.

Bonus Tip- A simple driving lesson for those left lane drivers: Look
to the right; if cars are passing you, pull over one
lane.  Repeat 
as often as needed.