today has been a fucked up day here, also. i met a beautiful girl at the coffee shop and talked for awhile. instead of making me happy it made me dwell on the fact that i have no friends, i lead a shitty life, and will never amount to anything special. i wish i were special. after that i went to work. god, work sucks. i almost felt suicidal. if i didn't have any perspective (that is, knowledge that other people have it muchg worse than myself), i would probably do something drastic. oh well, middle of the road as usual. fuck this. later.
keith