in PE, I’ve been doing badminton. The past couple weeks I was partners with this guy who *really* made me laugh. I would laugh like a shithead the whole time. Ahhh. I mean, it was good b/c I was laughing but then I’d get pissed off at myself because I was laughing. Hehe. You probably don’t understand but that’s ok, I guess.
chemistry has been ok. I had a couple friends/people I could talk to in there, but they both switched out, so now I’m all alone + have no one to talk to. Today we took a quiz + had to trade papers w/someone sitting pretty far away from us, so I went over to this preppy girl + asked her to trade with me. She waited for a while and then said "uh...ok." Then when we were giving them back, I was holding up the paper to the girl whose it was, and the preppy bitch walked by + fuckin grabbed it out of my hand and gave it to the girl. Dude! wtf did *I* ever do to her? Ahh, preppies piss me off.
computer projects has been good. This week we did a collage + mine was with pictures of eyes. If I can get it to load and then I can convert it to .jpg I’ll put it at the bottom here, or link to it. it’s kinda pretty. It has a ton of picutres of taylor hanson’s eyes. I hope no one in my class realizes that, because they’re all anti-hanson...
art has been crap. I get the idea that everyone in there thinks I’m stuck up. I’m not though, I’m just shy + I’m not friends with anyone in there. If I was friends with someone, I could talk to them + then other people. But I’m not. So it sucks. : ( also I hate drawing...it’s terrible.
english. Ah. This is the class my crush is in. he’s also in PE with me, but he sits next to me in english. :D I wonder if the teacher has caught on that I stare at the guy so much. Hehe. Well not stare so much as...look a lot. lol. I don’t know. Aside from him the class is ok.
geometry is pretty cool. well, I hate geometry itself, but I sit next to a friend of mine who’s really cool. I hung out with her last year but we never became really good friends. This year I think (hope) we do, though. I think we have a lot in common...we both hate preppies, + all the shirts that say crap like "spoiled," "brat," "princess," "boys lie," "don’t hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful", etc, + eating. Well, maybe that’s not so much, but she’s really cool. : )
spanish is not so lovely either. I don’t have any friends in that class, and we do really boring, easy stuff. But at least it’s last period and it goes by pretty quickly.
at lunch + break, I’ve been mostly a loner. My friends all hang out in different places this year...sarah is always with her boyfriend kyle...today after lunch I said something to them which, I guess, sounded pretty pissy ( I was trying to make a joke for chrissake...guess I better work on my humor) and they both were like "woah..". it pissed me off. lately she’s been pissing me off a lot lately. They both seem so selfish to me. They’re always with each other, I swear, like fucking CONNECTED at the hip. I hung around waiting for her yesterday, and then when she came she like started making out with kyle so I was like "uh..this is fun..bye" and she didn’t even disconnect with him she just said bye. So, I’m kinda pissed because of that and I guess sort of jealous or something. I haven’t figured that out yet.
sorry about that little bitching there. I guess that’s why I have no friends. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even living…it’s not like there’s any little thing that makes me happy. If I have a crap class, I can’t think "oh well I can go hang out with my friends, then it’ll be cool". If I have a crap day, I can’t go home and call my wonderful friend on the phone + talk for hours. And so I want to die. If people would really miss me, why don’t they fucking SHOW it to me now?
well. this has gone on a bit long. If chrissy’s going to have one 5x this, it’s going to have to be pretty long, hehe. I guess I will go now. Thanks for reading.
all this pain i feel / couldn't start to heal
