hey. Today when I got up it seemed like the first day of summer. I had nothing to do, I was the only person in the house. . .that feeling that you have the whole summer in front of you, you just finished all your tests & it’s done with, no more hell for two months. I think I got it because I gave my oral report last week. Now I don’t really have any homework, so I feel. . .free. hehe.
tonight I’m going to my old school to see their play. Joy. . .i just now called amy & she said it was tonight, so I’m goin. I probably will sit by myself the whole time & I won’t have much fun, but that’s ok. I might! Hehe. :) tomorrow mom and I are going shopping, and then we’re going to san francisco. ira has soccer games in fresno this weekend, and some of my relatives are going to be in the bay area. So we’re going to pick ira up and then go to the city. Yay. :)
I’m listening to "in the city" right now. . .i love in this song when ike goes "do you love me, do you love me, do you love me, whooaaa. ." it’s lovely. :) this morning I went on the internet a bunch. . .i’m offline right now in case you were wondering. :P mum is off at work so I’m home alone….i like being home alone during the day. At night though, it’s lonely and sad and I always go on the internet in hopes I will find someone to talk to. Sometimes I do, if I’m lucky. Today I downloaded a song of kittie’s. I read an article about them in rolling stone and I thought I might like them so I downloaded it. it’s pretty cool. I’m going to download more. :)
only 18 days left of school! And 23 till my birthday, and 29 until we’re going to the east coast! Wow. . .so much to look forward to. Oh, I couldn’t switch out of weights. :( I don’t like lifting weights because everyone in my group is better than me and I end up feeling *really* weak. But since I can’t switch out, I guess I’ll just get used to it. no, I don’t guess. I *will* just get used to it. it wasn’t as bad yesterday as it was some of the other days, at least.
I don’t understand why people can be so cruel. . .we all need friends & "companions", and then people are just merciless to others. And then people are depressed and need friends. But they only have a few friends and are afraid to make more, or the depressed person was rude before and nobody wants to be their friend. Why the fuck can’t people just be nice to begin with?
I’m going to go now, sorry for that…unrelated paragraph there.

she is not scared to die, the best things in life drive her to cry