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Today was just about the damn worst day I’ve had in a while. Nothing went right. I feel so fat and gross and sick of myself. I was about to cry earlier, but I didn’t. I don’t want my mom to see me cry, she’d just worry about what was wrong. . .i don’t care for her to know. Everything seemed to go wrong today. . .i had to spend a bunch of time in computers at lunch, the rest of lunch was boring, in PE we had to run the 40 meter and I ran it the slowest out of the whole fucking class. [as far as I know, anyway.] also I was really tired the whole day long, I didn’t get enough sleep last night or something. . .not like that’s anything new. Then I had 2 teeth appts., one dentist and one ortho. They were hell. I hate oral work, it sucks like shit and then some.

nothing good at all happened today. Actually, the best thing was realizing that I only have 2 days of weights left. But these last few days of school seem to go by so slowly. . .i have so many finals and projects and essays due it’s ridiculous. I don’t care about it either, which is bad because all this shit counts for large large amounts of my grades. Everything is so fucked. . .i’m so tired of school, only 6 days left. . . . .god I can’t stand it. this year has gone on for WAY too long. I can’t even stand myself anymore. It’s hard to explain. It’s like. . .i can stand ME, the me that I know. . .but the me that everyone else knows is terrible. I dunno, I can’t really explain it.

fuck me. I just spilled my water all over everything. Can’t I ever do ANYTHING right? Why don’t I just kill myself now........

I really lost my way this time