The Sunday Effect

by Nick Boughton

I don't know if you understand how I feel about sundays, they piss me off is one way of saying it. Sunday afternoons always have a what I call "The Sunday Effect", a term which is becoming slang where I live after I invented it. The sunday effect is that point on a sunday when there's NOTHING to do, nothing to watch on T.V, you've read all your books and now you have nothing to do what so ever, even time seems to have slowed as if vindictively wanting to contribute to this Sanity draining effect only known to mortal man as Sunday.

According to the christians it's a day of rest, right? rest?! in what way? are we all supposed to stay home and do nothing? if so then they're right it is rest but it is also torment. Sunday's are so dull and dead that the term "Sunday Effect" now applies to any situation in which you feel a state of complete apathy, both mental and physical. Life does not get much more boring and that's the bottom line. The sunday effect comes for your soul around 2:30pm every sunday and next thing you know, you're sitting in front of a computer trying to work out why your favourite site's server is down... Get used to it.

With every sunday there must inevitably be the point at which even gouging out your own eyes is preferable to the intense mind numbing boredom of the "Effect". Unless this ennui is alleviated or if possible eradicated by some form of entertainment (i.e good reading on the internet at web sites like this one >;^)) the sufferer is doomed to go back to bed and try to sleep off the slow time of Sundays. This approach has never worked for me, I've tried just going to bed and sleeping. After what seems like a couple of hours you check the clock and it's only been twenty minutes. Wishing to violently vent your rage on said clock you quietly attempt to sleep again, still to no avail. Your brain now feels like it is dribbling out of your ears and you are losing all grip of reality...

When the day comes that you realise that this is going to happen every sunday for however many years you are going to live and has happened every sunday for however many years you have lived, despair begins to set in. What can you do? have yourself sedated and asleep throughout the entire sunday? it won't work, as has been mentioned the Sunday Effect is not only limited to sundays, it can happen on any day when there is little or nothing to do, it is named after sunday because that is the day when it is most likely to happen.

Ways Of Avoiding "The Sunday Effect"

1. Try going out and spending the day with some friends, this sometimes works but is not foolproof.

2. If you have any decent videos to watch you can do that, don't bother with T.V there is never anything good on Sundays.

3. Reading some good books may take your mind off it but this does not always help defeat the slow time of sundays.

4. If you have a lover/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner you can spend the day with them and a box of Durex >;^P.

5. Try drinking coffee, the caffeine boost to your system should raise alertness and make you more able to deal with slow time and lethargy.

6. Finally read my site! It might not be much but it's better than "The Sunday Effect"