One measly hour with my wife and child before i have to go to work... *sigh* i'll be so glad when august is over.

/out/

Comments? -- syk0s0matic@hotmail.com

got my hopes up too soon... the guy from univ or phoenix told me that aramark paid for tuition there... so i got really excited for a couple of hours. turns out that's only for salaried employees.... oh well.

fuck.

/out/

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every once in a while, one of these are necessary...

fuck.

/out/

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this post is really for myself. i have things to sort through, and this is how i want to do it. i dont think anyone actually reads this anyway, so it doesn't matter either way.

things have changed since tobin came. granted - i've changed, too. i know i talk a lot about my child and my wife and my job, but guess what - that's my life. i dont have drinking stories, i dont go abroad, i dont write or shop or so most of the other things that people my age do. but you know what? i'm HAPPY with my life. but it seems like some of the people that used to always be right there beside me have just kind of drifted off. some of them as soon as sam got pregnant. some of them just recently. and some of them... well, it's kind of been an ongoing very slow-so-nobody-notices kind of thing. but i notice. i notice how people clam up when she throws up, or poops. i notice how people kind of walk away when things are getting stressful. i realize that this is all just outside the realm of experience for some people, but damn... it's time to grow up. and if i have to do it with just sam, tobin and i - then i will. whoever wants to stay behind can go ahead. now obviously this doesn't apply to most of my friends. but it still hurts/bugs me.

so on to happier things.
tobin, on her stomach, held up her torso with her arms tonight. huge step for her, scary for us, because that means that very soon she'll be able to roll over. but i can't help but be really proud at what a wonder she is. and i also cant help but wonder at what a strong woman sam is. she is the idol to which other mothers should aspire. she's so lovely, and caring, and patient. i love them so much.

enough for tonight.
/out/

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i'm cuddling with my beautiful daughter, and planning my and sam's anniversary celebration tomorrow... for anyone keeping score - i'm happy.
/out/

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*snicker* getting paid a lot of money to sit here on my duff and post in my journal. heh... love it. So, the trip went really well, for the most part. I got to see my family, and again realized just how much i miss them... but hey - summers and holidays, right? whataver. everyone was really glad to get to meet tobin, especially the great grandmother and the great great grandmother. i got some great pics, so i'll be sure to post them when they're scanned/uploaded. speaking of which, i'll be taking a roll of film to be developed today. (that was really just a reminder to myself) The drive up wasn't so bad, aside from the all-nighter thing. the drive back was... well... HELL. Tobin reached her 6week growth spurt as soon as we left, so we had to stop every hour to feed her. it took 18 hours to get home. *dies* but it was still worth it. she's growing up so damned fast, and she is so beautiful. heh. i shit you not, i'm actually considering taking her to a modeling agency. yeah, i know.... me. take her to a modeling agency. now that you're done laughing... it's weird. ive never felt pride like this before. i cant help but wonder if she's actually a hideous baby, and i just can't see it? but anyway. sum of the trip is this - swam, ate a lot, visited with people i should see far more often, made sam drive while we were there, and overall just had a nice time.

tomorrow is our first wedding anniversary. we're going ice skating and then to red lobster. should be a lot of fun. heh. that is if we can get the baby to stay at home for a few hours. it'll be nice to just have some 'us' time.

anyway, that's it for now. l8r.
/out/

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haha... so.. i am fully aware of the potential for a devastating karmic backlash for doing this, but i am her father, and i'm damn proud, so: *sticks thumbs in ears and waggles fingers* MY BABY SLEEPS THROUGH THE NI-IGHT! MY BABY SLEEPS THROUGH THE NI-IGHT!!! SHES ONLY 7 WEEKS O-OLD AND MY BABY SLEEPS THROUGH THE NI-IGHT! NYAH NYAH N-NYAH NYAH!
/out/

Comments? -- syk0s0matic@hotmail.com

So another quick thought about the journal itself - no "Blah" posts. No "feeling sorry for myself because i'm bored, so i'll just post and hope someone tries to cheer me up." heh. hope i can keep to that.

Tomorrow night sam, tobin and i leave for massachusetts. I'm really looking forward to seeing my family, and really hoping that i'll get to see my brother and sisters, but i'm not sure how much to get my hopes up. i'm just dreading the 12+ hour drive. so here's the planned route -
81N to 78E
78E to 287N
87/287E across the Tappan Zee bridge, to 95N
and then the rest of the way to lakeville. Shouldn't be too tough, right?

Went to the apartment today. It was all cleaned out... i got pretty much the last of our stuff out... feels weird. i'm really going to miss being there, and honestly i cant help but feel a little...i dunno... replaced? misplaced? i just feel like i'm kinda drifting away from what I thought life was, and it's all being replaced by this whole new image. a complete shift in paradigms. i'm not saying that i'm not happy. that's far from the truth. tobin and sam are the light in my life, and i'm so proud and happy to have them. i couldn't live without them, and i really wouldn't want to. i'm just feeling a little disoriented.

anyway, that's enough for tonight. tobin is restless and sam is tired, and so am i! so it's family bedtime. 'night all.
/out/

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Just testing the second post.
/out/

Comments? -- syk0s0matic@hotmail.com

So today I decided I needed a website. Today I also decided that I would like an online journal that wasn't affiliated with live/deadjournals. no friends list, no comments, no profile. Just a place for me to voice my thoughts and my friends to read it. Besides - I should brush up on my dreamweaver/HTML skills, so I guess I'll start here. So this page will update whenever i feel like it. Hopefully it will eventually look nice, but for now just background and text. Maybe sometimes i'll even post pics.
/out/

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