Metal Gear Solid is My Life, In Essence
I'm not a big believer in fate. I know that that sounds incredibly lame, but it's the truth. It's not like the idea of fate doesn't appeal to me. I'd absolutely love it if my destiny were simply to be incredibly leet with no effort or consequence. If fate existed for anyone, this would indubitably be mine: flawless, matchless existence as the most beloved creature ever to grace the Blue Planet with its presence. If I believed in fate, then my ego would inflate tenfold as a cat expands his fur when threatened, because it's really hard not be be arrogant when I know that I am and will be inherently superior to those around me.
What the hell was that? Well, the majority of the above paragraph was an ill-constructed digression that supposedly led me to a conclusion, and here it is: I do believe in fate, but not as a state function. If the exact same atoms, electrons, and energy forces exist in two separate systems, then the exact same events will occur. However, since there is only one closed system in life, and since replicating any conditions is nigh-impossible, and since this is all purely philosophical, highly improbable bullshit, I'm just going to assume that every event implies another and that there is no independent thought.
And who cares? If there's no independent thought, then "understanding" the system through an unimaginative sixteen-year-old's mind shouldn't change anything! Nonetheless, I think about this type of thing, sometimes. I feel that at the very least, it's an overused topic I can slap onto my site with the aid of some dependent clauses and prepositional phrases.
Anyway, my point is that fate may exist, but if it does, then it is not independent of path. If my destiny is to become the leetest Tony Almeida-wannabe on the Internet, then I will become the leetest Tony Almeida-wannabe on the Internet - but it won't be because becoming leet is my fate, but because I actually do stuff to become leet. Don't ask how you "do stuff to become leet." Only someone as awesome and intellectually gifted and good-looking as myself could possibly begin to wrap his head around it. Note that in my writing, I never use ambiguous incorrect pronouns when referring to unspecified persons whose genders are in question. Fully aware of the inherent leetness and superiority of the male race, I used the phrase "to wrap his head around it" - not "their." Granted, to be politically correct would be to make the "his" into "his or her" or "one," but again, that's not how I swing.
I read the above paragraph, and I realize my abuse of the pronoun "I" and the pretention that must result from it. Then I laugh - rather grimly, of course - because, sad as it may be, I really am that self-centered. I obsess over my present situations and present thoughts; unable to articulate them though the case may be, I always try to write them down so that I'll be able to share them later. My two primary concerns are my physical appearance and 24-induced pleasure.
This rambling narcissism brings me to what I suppose is the climax of my narrative: The 1998 Metal Gear Solid's theme: Gene.
Remember that the '98 Metal Gear Solid was the first game, the original. The game centers on the man, the legend, Solid Snake. Clones of Snake litter Snake's infiltration of the Shadow Moses territory: As the "evil twin" Liquid Snake tells Snake, all of those that Snake kills are his brothers. All around him, Snake sees gene.
This is not at all the subject of my discourse. Gene in the literal sense means nothing to me. My parents are both far more intellectually motivated and gifted than I am or likely will be. My sister is a psychologically tormented bitch with no remaining social skills or usefulness. I am an effemninately cheerful primate with enough basic functions to use the internet but not enough to be considered a "normal person." I am also the definition - or at least the corollary - to leetness. So I really am not in the league with my closest genetic matches.
And as I have stated before, genes do not determine my destiny, either. There is little to say about that, really. I've already decided and resolved that whatever fate is, it won't happen without specific actions. If my fate is to die, I can only laugh! But no, again, this is not the true subject of gene.
More importantly than the actual blood-bound relation, more importantly than the idea of nature vs. nurture in the game of Fate, more prevalent than any other prevalent definition is my interpreation of "gene" - probably similar to that of Hideo Kojima. My personal take on gene relates to the power of hard copies. A photocopy is gene. A book is gene. Hell, a website is gene, barring massive censorship and change in information (which I am prone to do).
If you can remember my spiel on "meme," then you know that meme plays exclusively on people's minds. In a meme-driven world, people's interpretations and selective psychological twists on events rule the past and the future. Subjective in nature and definitely far more advanced than gene. MGS2, after all, occurs after the events of Metal Gear Solid, so its themes are more sophisticated and abstract. ... So let's stick with gene.
This site is gene. A direct recollection of past events and past statements. It's sort of eerie how the Internet and its gene can immortalize what is said. When I read through some of what I've written, my discoveries often compel me theatrically to slap my hand against my forehead and tempt me to delete or to edit my recorded work. On occasion, I've made small edits, but when I do so, I feel horribly underhanded and criminal. It's a disruption in the natural order of things... When I make a mistake or a typo, I want to fix it, but as soon as I do, I realize that I have changed something. Something is lost, and it vanishes from the concrete gene into the mystical meme.
It's important to have both an unchanging copy and a perception that continues to be shaped by new events, I think. Or at least, I'd like to think that I think that, because otherwise keeping a journal and archiving all these damn articles would have been a total waste of time. That should be gene. Current thoughts from the moment. History. Things that can provide a comparison, that should be used as a comparison.
I think that this also explains some of my feelings toward online chatting. Typical chatting is and should be meme-based. Online chatting and archiving adds an unprecedented level of gene-memories... which can be very strange. Some things should not ever get the opportunity to live on this way. It is... restrictive.
This is my belief... at least for now.
MGS3: Snake Eater's theme is the final one. It's somewhat different from Gene and Meme. Guess it and win something !!
SD
Mar. 29, '06
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