Metal Gear Solid Is My Life, Sort Of
Today in English class, I did something that I try but fail to avoid doing very often: I spoke without thinking. And this time, I spoke my subconscious mind. Since this is extremely exciting and serious business, I will now give a thoroughly overlong and unnecessary synopsis of the incident.
Jane gave the class a "quiz" for Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Jane posted a painting on the whiteboard called "The Wanderer," and my assignment was to connect the painting to the Author's Introduction and Letters I, II, III, and IV.
The painting featured a lone man on a small climax of a mountain looking over at many more snowcapped mountians before him. The painting provided an exhilarating, sweeping view of wildness, seen from behind a dark, well-dressed Victorian fellow. It was really very classy; from a distance, I was unable to tell that it was a painting and not rather a scene from a movie. Up close, I could see the consistent brushing, the artistic blends of colors that demonstrated technique esoteric to my unrefined hand.
Funny thing about mannerisms and figures of speech: "Funny thing about" really doesn't mean "funny thing about," at least not to me. "Funny thing about" really means "I noticed something about and wanted to mention," at least when I use it in that context. It's rather unfortunate that I say that, especially since I take humor more seriously than I tend to think. Funny how things work that way.
Anyway, what I wanted to say was this: There's a funny thing about English and my relationship with it. I've been speaking English for a relatively long time now, though only five years ago did I start taking "English classes." Ever since I started taking English classes, I've noticed that my language skills and appreciation for the English language have dropped considerably. Reading and writing at a sixth grade level always sufficed for me up until then, but apparently the state government insists that this is not enough. Since then... I have learned "conventions of writing," grammatical rules, and nitpicky details. These "improvements" have only made reading and writing more difficult for me. I am incapable of reading any argument that invokes the passive voice without twitching violently. Every time I see a split infinitive, I gnash my teeth and pull on my hair. Run-on sentences, once a spectacular if grammatically technique found in all sorts of writing, now make me physically ill. No longer am I capable of writing as I wish to write; I seek correctness above eloquence, and often I lack both.
More importantly, however, is my relationship with my grades in English. To me, English class has always been a fabulously subjective and unbreakable code. Since freshman year, I have been aware that some people are actually good at English and deciphering the meanings behind what teachers expect me to "believe." So apparently, there is some objectivity. I just don't see it. And I guess this is my issue. For some inane reason, I find myself totally incapable of understanding what teachers expect in English class - or rather, incapable of fulfilling said teachers' expectations. In essence... "hard work" has never paid off for me in English. Read a book, take notes, reread, take more detailed notes, pay attention in class, ask teacher for extra help, read out of class... I have tried all of these things, and I have done no better on tests or essays. In fact, I got an 85 on my Macbeth essay for which I spent hours to prepare and had to write in-class. I got an 88 on a Canterbury Tales essay that carried with it substantially less effort. Total lack of motivation has since consumed me in the class... Improving is allegedly possible, but hell if I know how.
Getting back to the original point, I now practiced the tried and true method of "flinging the bull." While I scribbled something on my paper about "conquering" something or another, Jane chatted idly to herself and to the rest of the class. My mind wandered like the British chap depicted in the painting as I sank into the stupor that always assaults me when Ariana Rosa speaks. Jane said, in her beautifully timid-yet-patronizing manner, "That's the great thing about art! There's no clear cut right or wrong answer!"
I did not think. In what must have been a terribly exasperated tone, I said, "How is that a good thing?"
And then I marveled at the power of my subconscious mind. Jane blurted some words in defense of her statement, notably trying to appeal to the rest of the class. I said no more, realizing that I had yet again overstepped my bounds in the talking department. I really hate when I talk out of line... but it was really true.
There really is nothing good about a question that has no right or wrong answer.
Today's topic, on that note, is Meme.
I was originally planning on writing this article about the three themes of Metal Gear Solid... "Meme" was the second. Instead, I’ve spent way more time than I expected dwelling on my subconscious spewing... which in hindsight, is actually an amazing sort of meme. So... here we go.
When I first heard of MGS2's "meme," I had no idea what "meme" was. As an audience, you probably are a lot smarter than I was as a sophomore. Nonetheless, I feel the need to tell you my limited understanding of "meme." Meme is the passing of knowledge through imprecise means: the human mind. To me... Meme is any sort of mind game. I'm not sure if this is a flawed definition... but it fits for me.
If you've played Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, then this definition should click with you immediately. Raiden and GW are all about meme: the perception that people have of reality. The censorship of the internet prevents written documents' passing through time, and instead only people's memories and unwritten ideas will continue on. It's a disturbing idea that really doesn't float my boat to be honest, but that is meme: Damn the Patriots.
But this is my mind. Previously thought desolate by many, including myself, it apparently breeds ideas with which - shocking I know! - I agree! Whence came this idea of mine that art is bad? I don't know! But I love it!! This really makes me curious to see what else comes out of my mind.
Hopefully I'll think before I speak next time.
Next... Metal Gear Solid 1's Theme. Do you know it?
SD
Mar. 23, '06
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