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I recently saw an advertisement on TV for a meat pie. It was a "footy-pie". This pissed me off royally, because I knew, someone, somewhere, was getting rich off my invention. I was the one who started teasing people who played football and ate pies, I was the one who pretended to hold a pie, and a footy in each hand, and get confused between the two. Only I am much better than the advertisement, I fucked the two together, and threw it at a mime, ripping off his head along the way.

The advertisement clearly stole the idea off me, and if I had copyrighted it, I would be rich right now. Fucking footballers, stole my idea.

I am so fucking pissed off right now, that I am literally, at this very moment, ripping the throat out of a footballer, smashing his feet with a sledgehammer.

Number of people who are boycotting the footy pie in fear of my anger: