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I have heard too much about children and babies drowning in pools and baths. I've heard that babies can die if left in 3 cm of water. How fucking stupid can they be? I mean, okay, I can accept the fact that they shit themselves, piss themselves, and eat everything in sight. But how can they fucking drown?

First of all, its 3cm. (anybody who doesn't know the metric system is gay) Three centimetres is not enough to drown in, you could drink 2 cm of it, then your mouth could be free for breathing. Do babies not have any instinct at all? When we slap them across the face, they know to cry, when we kick them, they know to cry, when we don't feed them, they know to eat anything.

How can they not know to sit up? Are they so fucking retarded that they just think to themselves "Goo goo gar gar gi ga goo... goo" (Translation: I'm so fucking stupid and lazy that I can't be bothered sitting up. Oh look, I'm dead.") It isn't that hard to sit up. They have muscles, they can throw a rattle 5 metres, but they can't find the power to push up and get their faces out of the water? Please. They just hate themselves so much they wish they were dead.

I know some pretty smart babies, they don't drown themselves in the bath. Maybe it's because I'm related to them, since I'm so good, any part of my DNA would let them survive.
But I still can't contemplate how babies can drown in the bath.
They have so many options:
- Turn around, that way their air intake holes are free to take in air.
- Drink the water, that way the water level drops and only their noses are covered, but their mouthes are free to breathe.
- Sit up, who the fuck lies face down in a bath anyway?
- Cry, they do it all the time, why not cry and get attention?
- Throw up, they could lie in a pool of their own vomit, and that way, choke to death, not drown.

Babies are so fussy, needing constant attention. I need that constant attention, sure I won't drown in a bath, but I'll be damned if they are taking away my attention time.

Don't get me wrong, I love babies, I eat them all the time.

Number of babies that have killed themselves in 3cm of water whilst people read this: