Home

There is no picture here you fucking homosexual, goat fucking, ass licking, heterosexual fuckers. Fuck you.

The ten commandments were quite long winded. They could be chomped down into one single commandment. "Thou shalt not steal". Even that language is fucked up. It should just be "Don't steal". If you think about it, not stealing is the basis of every single commandment.

'You shall have no other gods before Me.' - Don't steal a shortcut to redemption (by saying this, god is technically admitting that other gods, like me, do exist, just that we shouldn't acknowledge them. Seems like somebody has control issues.)

'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.' - I couldn't be fucked reading this one, so let's just agree that it has something to do with stealing earth from beneath the earth or some shit like that. Savvy? Good.

'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.' - Don't steal a quick curse every now and then.

'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.' - No fucking idea what the Sabbath day is, but it sounds like a sick name, so let's again agree that it has something to do with stealing somebody's first born and sending them up the waterfall to be collected by the hobbits who cook it and turn it into a felk. Which we shouldn't do as we shouldn't steal.

'Honor your father and your mother.' - Don't steal somebody else's family. Stupid Arnaud Du Tilh, steal Bertrandes family, and also fucked her brains out... needs to be castrated and fed to bees.

'You shall not murder.' (god is pretty fucking long winded isn't he? just say "don't kill" it doesn't have to sound so grand... In fact, I'll bet he did say "Don't kill" just some faggot english king decided to change the whole religion by adding a "you shall" and all that bullshit motherfuck. Anyway, back to blasphemy.) - Don't steal somebody else's life.

'You shall not commit adultery.' - Don't steal your friends girl.

'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.' - Don't steal your neighbours shit or he'll call you into court and you'll have to get a false witness to say you didn't do it?.... I don't know, it's all fucked up.

'You shall not covet your neighbour's house; you shall not covet your neighbour's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbour's.' - Who the fuck wants to fuck an ox, or a donkey, or anything that belongs to Ned Flanders? This commandment is fucking bullshit. But basically it says don't steal your neigbours wife, kids, ox, donkey, pig, goat... I could list all species here, but it basically says don't steal.

So there you have it, all the commandments rolled up into one. This also suggests how wasteful god is. He made two stones which old man Moses eventually broke... when he could have inscribed the writing onto a twig. Oh well. Fuck you all motherfuckers. Eat shit and die.

fuck you.