The Cowboy Ranch

This is a picture of some real cowboys, yes they had some black cowboys but i think they're extinct now

Here is a picture of a cowboy having a spazz attack, he is shooting at the fat waitress who brought him steamed vegetables instead of a steak (What was she thinking?!)

Some quick facts about Cowboys.

• They carry guns
• They're usually white, but i've seen a few asian ones in the karaoke bars
• They like to drink the milk from cows hence the name "Cowboys"
• They're humans just like me and you, unless you're a chimp being taught how to surf the internet.
• Some of them can shoot magical fireballs from their fingers.
• When cowboys aren't out shooting, they're usually cleaning their gun so they can shoot some more indians
• Some cowboys disguise themselves as cactus
• After a long day of kicking people in the eye with their spurs and shooting people in the groin, they sit at home and either knit, read a book, play monopoly, eat some cookies, or take a bath.

  Here are 10 things not to say to a cowboy (unless you want to get shot in the face, but why would you want to get shot in the face, are you psycho or something?)

  • How does it feel to stradle a horse?
  • Can i borrow your lasoo to get my car out of the snow?
  • Dude, i'm from the wild wild east
  • Your cowboy suit is bunching up from behind
  • Riding cows all day must give major wedgies
  • Is that a real gun?
  • My girl likes to pretend shes a cow girl *wink wink*
  • You dont look like a boy
  • Your steak is burnt
  • Fuck you your gayer then AIDS

    A cowboy without a gun is like a fat man without cake, cowboys always carry guns, one time i saw a cowboy like totally spazz out because he left his gun in his other pair of chaps, i was eating in this restaurant with my mom (it was mothers day) and he totally flipped out and knocked over like 4 bar stools. Anyways this is what a cowboy usually carries to shoot indians. Sometimes when a cowboy doesnt have his gun on him, he'll lasoo you to a tree and kick you in the forehead repeatedly until your skull crumbles to dust, they're wicked awesome.

    Interview with a real life Cowboy (By my friend Sunny, he's a cowboy lover too.)

    Sunny: So what do you do everyday Mr.Cowboy? Real Life Cowboy: ........ Sunny: Have you ever been to Wal-Mart? Real Life Cowboy: ........ Sunny: What do you get when you shop at Wal-Mart? Real Life Cowboy: ........ Sunny: Have you ever seen a deer? Real Life Cowboy: ........ Sunny: Have you ever lasooed a deer?! Real Life Cowboy: ........ Sunny: Have you ever seen a ninja? Real Life Cowboy: ........ Sunny: Who would win, a cowboy or a ninja? Real Life Cowboy: ........ Sunny: What do cowboys wear to sleep? This is where the cowboy walked over and punched Sunny in the ear for asking so many questions, the funny thing is that Sunny was interviewing the cowboy over the internet and the cowboy lived all the way in Utah, WOW now THAT'S determination!

    Everytime i think about Cowboys i get this feeling in my right thumb, they make my lips quiver with excitement. One time i was sitting in math class and i was about to fall asleep until i started daydreaming about cowboys, man oh man i lost control of myself and spazzed out, i punched the teacher in the head like 20 times with my eyes closed and then another 20 times with my eyes opened. It was great

    Here is a picture i took when i went to visit Arizona with my aunt, i was just taking pictures of some cactuses when this cowboy appeared out of nowhere! He was a flying cowboy, there's not many of them left nowadays, but yea, he was shooting fireballs out of his fingers at some indians that were trying to steal the picnic basket out of my aunt's Ford Explorer....and he was ASIAN, which made him like 1000 times even cooler.

    "When me and a couple of friends went to DQ (Dairy Queen) I saw a man with a boot wit a ninja star on the back of his heel. I was like, "Hey cowboy, did you kick a ninja in the lip? Cuz theres a big ninja star stuck to your boot" My friends and I joked around laughing. I did the wrong thing, he took out his Lasoo and he tied me up from my forhead to my toes, I could sworn i saw the back of my neck. My friends ran away like a bunch of goats who saw a farmer wit a bucket. It was so embarassing, becuase it was in public in front of DQ. I was lucky he didn't shoot me in the face." That was a first hand account of what happened to my friend Sunny at our local Dairy Queen® last Tuesday night, i was there, i was one of the friends who ran, wow cowboys kick so much ass!

    ©Alex & Sunny Productions. Pictures are from "Wild Wild West®" (registered trademark of ©Warner Bros.) and "Shanghai Noon®" (registered trademark of ©Touchstone Pictrues) so dont sue us you bitches!
    
    
    
    
    
    ~Asking random people Cowboy questions~
    
    s U nNy BoY o 5: What do you think about cowboys?
    
    Loorlie02: most are pretty cute!
    KiNkYxBaBeEgUrL: they're dirty
    JennyParadis: hot guy on a horse
    KmrLove: im not into cowboiz sorrie
    Mallory Ackroyd5: hey what font do you have?
    xDciVicSx: i think they're totally sweet
    aZnxBxbOy2o7: old country western tight wearin, full of leather son of a bitches
    
    s U nNy BoY o 5: What would you do if you saw one in walmart?
    
    Loorlie02: i'd probably follow him around if he was hot.
    KiNkYxBaBeEgUrL: i'd say howdy partner
    xDciVicSx: run into them with my shopping cart
    kAyTeEM05: cry
    JennyParadis: hug him, only if he was cute tho
    IDamn2LayzeeI: moo them?
    KimSavage05: i dont know.. look at him? haha
    aZnxBxbOy2o7: grab my snowboarding glove, and slapp it beside the head and challeng him to a duel
    
    s U nNy BoY o 5: What would you do if a cowboy takes out his lassoo?
    
    xDciVicSx: run suckah
    Mallory Ackroyd5: is this sunny?
    KiNkYxBaBeEgUrL: i'll run
    JennyParadis: ask him to lasoo me up!!
    kAyTeEM05: i would fucking slap u
    
    
    s U nNy BoY o 5: What if u were an indian on halloween and u saw a cowboy what would u do/say?
    
    KiNkYxBaBeEgUrL: i'd say "woo woo woo woo"
    aZnxBxbOy2o7: start doing my mating call, to get my homies back me up
    Sovy Ker 8: kill him
    Mallory Ackroyd5: why the hell are you asking?
    xDciVicSx:i would never be an indian, cowboys rule homey
    JennyParadis: go kill me a turkey