The Cry Heard Round the World

Your fate is prearranged
Life becomes deranged
By a hippy in a suit
It’s decided that you’re cute

On your sixth month anniversary
They rip you out of the nursery
They sign my name, it’s purgery

Hey! Little one
You’ll never have any fun
You’ve been chosen
Your heart will soon be frozen
You’re the Gerber Baby
The F*****’ Gerber Baby!

A celebrity baby now
Worshipped like a sacred cow
The paparazzi’s on my ass
The common folk harass,
Me constantly! , It hurts
I really hate these perverts!

Who are my true friends?
Who just wants to ride my Benz?
Being home schooled is hell
Just free me from my cell!

Washed up at the age of three
The masses tend to swallow me
These royalties don’t make things right
Constant lawsuits, tired of the fight

They raise you up
Only to tear you down

So, I have my picture on baby mush
I’d trade all the glory in a rush
I’d trade my golden crib
And my trademark bib
For one Day
Of a normal life

It’s so hard to overcome my past success
Rid me of this painful distress.

I must proclaim to the world,

I’m the F*****’ Gerber Baby
Everyone, everywhere, throw a fit!
I’m the F*****’ Gerber Baby
I don’t have to take your shit!