I felt like I got the lower end of the deal,
So I didn’t need to skip a meal.
What sounded better than a llama on the grill?
But, then I looked Sheera the llama right in the eye
Her _expression said, “I don’t wanna fry”
I asked her why.
She responded, “because then I would die.”
Now I understood why she was freakin’
Meanwhile, I noticed one of grandma’s pants were leakin’
Her wig had spiderwebs in it and her skin was creakin’
I definitely had a dire problem on my arm,
So I ran over to the pottery barn,
And asked Posh Spice for some yarn
Then I asked her for advice
But she just ignored me like a bowl of spoiled pork fried rice,
That was infected with malaria, Red Nile disease and infested with lice
But finally she responded, these illegitimate iguanas will sell faster in a way,
Then Mexican Jumping Beans on Canadian Boxing Day
Or even Catherine Zeta Jones nude, in the month of May
Posh was no help at all
A Third Spoonful of Turtle Soup for the Canadian Soul was all I saw
And a stack of Idiot’s Guide to masticating armadillo feces, three feet tall
So then an idea just came into my head
I’ll keep Sheera and let her sleep in me bed
Maybe one day we could wed
The 124 grandmas were still in my place
And, the number of grandmas that still hadn’t lost their stars equaled seis
One was even wearing a cop uniform and holding mace
They finally left my home hurrying
To the Viatnamese chapel, Sheera and I headed scurrying
My troubles were over and I could finally stop worrying.
Life was good from here on out.
After all, that’s what Canadia is all about,
Synchronized swimming and bobbing for Rainbow Trout!