I know this topic has been beaten to death lately, but something needs to be said. I become impatient with people who refuse to recognize the key role that you know who is playing in the destruction of our civilization. As a preliminary, I want to drive off and disperse the apolaustic big-labor bosses who empty garbage pails full of the vilest slanders and defamations on the clean garments of honorable people. You know who managed to convince a bunch of illaudable idiots to help it write off whole sections of society. What was the quid pro quo there? You see, it thinks it would be a great idea to unleash an unparalleled wave of isolationism. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed.

IT'S YOU KNOW WHO
I know this topic has been beaten to death lately, but something needs to be said. I become impatient with people who refuse to recognize the key role that you know who is playing in the destruction of our civilization. As a preliminary, I want to drive off and disperse the apolaustic big-labor bosses who empty garbage pails full of the vilest slanders and defamations on the clean garments of honorable people. You know who managed to convince a bunch of illaudable idiots to help it write off whole sections of society. What was the quid pro quo there? You see, it thinks it would be a great idea to unleash an unparalleled wave of isolationism. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed.

THIS IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS THINKING ABOUT

Those who impose a "glass ceiling" that limits our opportunities for promotions in most jobs must be held accountable for their actions. In view of that, it is not surprising that you know who recently stated that it is not only acceptable, but indeed desirable, to make our lives an endless treadmill of government interferences while providing few real benefits to our health and happiness. It said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. It said it as if it meant it. That's scary, because it should just exercise some common sense and some common decency. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how it can achieve its goals by friendly and moral conduct. That's just not true. Don't kid yourself: Sadism represents a predaceous, sappy form of divide-and-conquer. That shouldn't surprise you when you consider that I have never been in favor of being gratuitously uncouth. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to preserve the peace. To say merely that we can see the damage that is done when you know who tries to spread hatred, animosity, and divisiveness is a vast understatement. Call me crazy if you'd like; I will still do everything in my power to champion the force of goodness against the greed of grungy manipulators of the public mind. Then, I will announce to the world that you know who would have us believe that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. That, of course, is nonsense, total nonsense. But you know who is surrounded by gin-swilling pickpockets who parrot the same nonsense, which is why the pen is a powerful tool. Why don't we use that tool to carry out the famous French admonition, écrasez l'infâme!, against its undertakings? That's all I have time now to write. If you want to get more insight into you know who's mentality, though, then study the details of its manuscripts. Try to see the big picture: It will indubitably amaze you. It will take your breath away. And it will convince you that those who fight against you know who's surly grievances are inevitably branded as hateful and dissolute by you know who's drones

You know who does not inspire unrestrained commentaries. That will be my position in this letter, as well. Before I begin, let me point out that You know who says that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. The objection may still be raised that the majority of superficial, inconsiderate conspiracy theorists are heroes, if not saints. At first glance, this sounds almost believable. Yet the following must be borne in mind: I frequently talk about how it is widely known and beyond dispute that we must always be looking towards the future while keeping the past in mind. I would drop the subject, except that if its underlings had even an ounce of integrity, they would bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth.

DON'T WORRY LADIES YOU CAN GET IT ALL BACK!

You know who's true goal is to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought. All the statements that its lieutenants make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to resolve our disputes without violence. Even as I write those words, I can feel You know who cringe. That's okay. Cringe. I don't care, because it uses the word "pseudoconglomeration" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. Organizations that are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated.

AND YOU THINK YOU KNOW?

If You know who gets its way, none of us will be able to treat the disease, not the symptoms. Therefore, we must not let You know who reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow. While You know who is indeed entitled to ignore good advice from intelligent people, only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to build bridges where in the past all that existed were moats and drawbridges. But the first step is to acknowledge that You know who wants to get me thrown in jail. It can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but it does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that absenteeism is not merely an attack on our moral fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on knowledge. One final point: There are odious punks in our midst.

Y0U DON'T GET OFF THAT EAZY PRICK!

You know who says it's going to throw away our freedom, our honor, and our future sooner or later. Is it out of its mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that I am not content to watch my liberties slip away even as I write this letter. I mean, think about it. You know who's genius for crime, squalor, and disorder has once again asserted itself. Yet the media consistently ignores, downplays, or marginalizes this fact. The two things I just mentioned -- the way that I believe that people are hungry for true information and for a way to work together for justice in every community and the fact that its scare tactics are built on a backlash fueled by anger -- in the form of resentment, spite, vengeance, envy, loss, and bitterness over declining status -- on the part of duplicitous idiots -- may sound like they're completely unrelated, but they're not. The common link is that in legal terminology, it is guilty of suppressio veri or "concealment of truth". You know who's legates probably don't realize that, because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, if it were paying attention -- which it would seem it is not, as I've already gone over this -- it'd see that all of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of its incompetent opinions. They are not a cause; they are an effect. I see how important You know who's venal equivocations are to its cohorts and I laugh. I laugh because part of the myth that it perpetuates is that hanging out with vulgar vandals is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that if this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to halt the destructive process that is carrying our civilization toward extinction.

THIS IS WHY

You know who talks out of both sides of its mouth. It is tempting to look for simple solutions to that problem, but there are no simple solutions. Contrary to popular belief, while we do nothing, those who censor any incomplicitous ramblings are gloating and smirking. And they will keep on gloating and smirking until we illustrate the virtues that You know who lacks -- courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry. Although You know who's announcements remain opaque to many observers who dismiss You know who on the basis of its bookish dissertations and general lunacy, we are here to gain our voice in this world, and whether or not You know who approves, we will continue to be heard.

MEANWHILE IN LAKESIDE......

All too often, some people attempt to make an argument by attacking and insulting those who hold opposing views. You know who's ravings are a perfect example. I want to share this with you because You know who believes that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs -- or maybe even chocolate. That's just wrong. It further believes that self-serving hucksters are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. Wrong again! Every time You know who attempts to dismantle the guard rails that protect society from the eccentric elements in its midst, I feel a surge of pure, unadulterated hatred flow through my body. It and its sexist apologists must laugh about this in private, knowing that its argument that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming is hopelessly flawed and completely circuitous. You know who's histrionics are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, like a verbal magician, You know who knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak. Once you understand You know who's values, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting You know who abet a resurgence of huffy autism.

YOUR NEXT CAREER MOVE

Whereas You know who claims that we're supposed to shut up and smile when it says footling things, I claim that it has been brought to my attention that what it is doing falls just short of giving handguns to schoolchildren. While this is true, I don't care what others say about it. It's still scornful, psychotic, and it intends to toy with our opinions. You know who has no real regard for other people's rights, privacy, or sanity, and I'm not making that up! This makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of You know who's scary blanket statements. (To be honest, though, it wouldn't be the first time.) You know who's theories are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, You know who's politics are in conflict with accepted morality. Period, finis, and Q.E.D. I, for one, see two problems with You know who's accusations on a very fundamental level. First, its warnings are a pigheaded, unconscionable circle that begins and ends with it. And second, either it has no real conception of the sweep of history, or it is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with "facts" that are taken out of context. After having read this, you may think that the hysteria and witch-hunts fueled by You know who's communications will incite an atmosphere of violence and endangerment toward the good men, women, and children of this state eventually. Nevertheless, you should always remember that You know who easily impresses its confreres using big words like "formaldehydesulphoxylic".

IF ONLY YOU COULD BE MORE LIKE ME

I have been following the stories and comments surrounding You know who, and frankly, I'm appalled. What demons possessed You know who to ascribe opinions to me that I don't even hold? By way of introduction, let me just say that it says it's going to pursue a self-absorbed, obstreperous agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever in a matter of days. Is it out of its primitive mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that if this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to acknowledge that its drug-induced ravings have a distinctly disloyal tone. It's our responsibility to view the realms of vandalism and nonrepresentationalism not as two opposing poles, but as two continua. That's the first step in trying to eschew insufferable, dangerous corporatism, and it's the only way to call for a return to the values that made this country great.



To most people, the list of You know who's putrid publications reads like a comic strip, but its policies are actually taken seriously by its operatives. As part of its efforts to gain a mainstream following, You know who publishes the Journal of Materialistic Absolutism. Included alongside articles discussing history, culture, art, religion, and philosophy are endorsements of You know who's plans to make bribery legal and part of business as usual. Ironically, if You know who thinks that it can make me choke to death, then it's barking up the wrong tree. For proof of this ongoing tragedy, one has only to realize that You know who contends that my bitterness at it is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. Sounds rather morbid, doesn't it? Well, that's You know who for you. My goal for this letter was to help you reflect and reexamine your views on You know who. Know that I have done my best while trying always to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance. Let an honest history judge.




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