The following may not be what you want to hear.
"I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, 50 Cent, or Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I believe the Boy Scouts of America is a good organization that accomplishes good things in this country, regardless of the media frenzy over their choice to exclude openly gay scoutmasters.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.
My heroes are John Wayne, Theodore Roosevelt, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
After his three years in office, I do not believe George W. Bush is a great president, I believe he was the less-terrible candidate in 2000 and shudder at the thought of a President Albert Gore.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and most likely neither have you, so shut-the-hell-up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.
I think Earth’s biggest problem is exploding population, not Bob with the giant SUV down the street.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the world for the next four years.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
We need our country back."
