Loud fireworks are heard, and the black screen with the CWF logo fades into the Kemper Arena. The camera moves along the crowds which are starving for attention, raising their hands and doing insane things to try to be noticed by the people at home. The shot went to a stop as the camera approached our announcers.
Curly: Welcome to Kansas City, Missouri!
Keith: We would like to ask everyone to bow their head, as the bell tolls 10 times, in respect for the late Owen Hart.
(BELL TOLLS)
Keith: Thank you.
Curly: Yeah, and we also have some sad news...
Keith: Do we? What news?
Curly: This is our last Contention. CWF decided it would make short work of you.
Keith: What?
Curly: That's it, me, you, and our boss, are gone after this show.
Keith: No... It can't be true.
Curly: It is... As the producer is probably telling you on your headphone now.
Keith: Oh my... Well, let's do this show like no other.
Curly: Yeah, let's leave off on a bad note!
Keith: Ha. Good one, let's do the best we can?
Curly: Let's not, c'mon. Look who is wrestling tonight, Big Bennett versus Gabrial Steele. A man who can't even spell his first name right.
Keith: Well, I'm going to do my job, while you complain.
Curly: Ok, will someone please send out the guy who could only spell Inferno right...
Kyle Kirkson: Introducing to the ring, a 6 foot 4, two hundred seventy-five pounder, hailing from Atlanta, Georgia... GABRIAL STEELE.
Inferno comes out expecting cheers but recieves a huge "asshole" chant. The chant goes on all the way down to the ring, it is so loud that Inferno's entrance music, Trapt's "Headstrong", could not even be heard. Once Inferno is in the ring, he continues to get boo'd. He can't figure what he is doing wrong, he just buries his head into the turnbuckle, and waits for his opponent to be announced.
Curly: BOOOOO!!!!
Keith: Why are you boo'ing him?
Curly: We all know why... The crowd was saying what he was before.
Keith: Yeah, it is true... but that doesn't mean we have to boo him.
Curly: Have you talked to him backstage.
Keith: Yes... Even though I wish I didn't.
Curly: See.
Kyle Kirkson: Introducing to the ring his opponent, BIG BENNETT.
The obese Big Bennett walks down to ringside, and the crowd just laughs at the overweight man. American flags are being waved all around the arena as Big Bennett tries to keep his eyes on the ring instead of a hot dog a little kid is eating. When he finally gets to the ring he gets attacked by Steele.
Keith: Hey, he can't hit Bennett yet.
-BELL RING-
Curly: Now he can.
Steele is kicking away on Bennett, and all Bennett can do is roll around on the ground. He is trying to get up, but he just can't.
Curly: Look at the fat midget.
Keith: He's not a midget.
Curly: But you are.
Keith: Didn't you use that joke like two weeks ago?
Curly: It's still funny, so shut up.
Steele goes to the top rope and flies off it doing a nice frog splash. Big Bennett tried to roll out the way, but he was just too big to move out of the way.
Curly: He gave Steele an extremely huge target.
Steele gets up but just sits on Bennett's huge gut. He then rips off Bennett's bandage on his head, and the USA scar is shown. The crowd starts to chant USA. Steele gets up, and is waving the bandage around, but he just gets boo'd by the crowd. He looks over to Big Bennett who is trying to get up, but he can't.
Keith: Bennett is too fat for his own good, he can't get off the mat.
Curly: He should have realized that about 150 pounds ago.
Gabrial Steele bounces off the ropes, rolls, and does his version of "Rolling Thunder" and goes for the pin on the helpless Big Bennett. ONE.... TWO... Bennett tries to move his shoulder, but that must weight too much for him to move, THREE!!!
Kyle Kirkson: Winner of the match, GABRIAL STEELE.
The crowd boo's Steele, and he is embarressed by this. He runs to the dressing room, yelling to the crowd to shut up.
Keith: What a cry baby.
Curly: I don't know what's worse the cry baby, or the fat ass in the ring, who still can't get up.
Keith: Can you watch your mouth, please.
Curly: Look at him, if he can't land on his feet when he rolls out the ring we are going to get a forklift out here.
Keith: That's so sad.
Curly: But true. It is.
Keith: We have just been informed that Hitman came at Flabolous backstage.
Curly: We got a camera backstage right now!
The shot is shown backstage and Flab is getting hit by a chair, but bounces up, and throws Hitman into a wall. He then gets the chair and hits him over the head with it. He then looks down at Hitman, then jumps up, landing his big fat ass on Hitman's face.
The camera goes back to Keith and Curly.
Keith: Well, I guess we can say that match won't be happening tonight.
Curly: Flab gave Hitman what he deserves. And if anyone goes after Flab the same thing will happen to them, maybe worse.
Keith: You mean the Mob?
Curly: Yeah, what did you think I meant?
Keith: Nothing.
Curly: Shut up, or I'll get my good bud Flab to eat you. Your the size of a steak, he will do it.
Keith: Now, it's your turn to shut up.
Curly: You know, I will... I will shut up, right after this, Jennifer Cornley is backstage with Lightning Jack.
Keith: Ok, so let's go to that.
The camera cuts to the back corridores where we see Lightning Jack at a vending machine. He puts the coins in the slot and presses the buttons....he waits....nothing comes out. It appears to be jammed. A confused _expression comes over his face.
Lightning Jack: "Bah!...where's me bag of chips? Ah geez!"
Jack scratches his head before bending over for a closer look. The bag of chips is wedge up against the snickers bars. He gets down on his hand nad knees and inserts his arm, right up to his elbow, into the machine. His head presses hard against the perspex window as his arm waves around frantically inside the machine. Suddenly, a voice come from behind the camera...
Jennifer Corley: "Ah hem...excuse me Jack?"
Jack is startled and as a result, tries to take his arm out too fast and wedges it inside. It's stuck. He looks left, right...then smiles casually. He sits on the floor, pretending to be fine in a relaxed position with his arm still inside the machine.
Lightning Jack: "Oh, G'day Jenny. How are ya? Just tryna get a bag of chips down from the...ah...how's life treat'n ya?"
Jennifer Corley: "Oh you're a worry Jack...you really are. No, I'm here to talk to you about your match tonight. Against Lucan Jackson."
Lightning Jack: "Yeah! Same initials! Ha Ha! L.J.! Yeah, I had a bit of a captain cook...ah, that's a look...for him earlier. Couldn't find him. I wanted to meet the bloke, introduce myself. 'Not a big fan of having to fight some poor bugger I don't even know."
Jennifer Corley: "Well I can assure you he doesn't feel the same way. Now, you've come to Contention this week. You're not avoiding Arioch and Smith are you by any chance?"
Lightning Jack: "Doesn't feel the same way? What do you...geez alright...Nah, I'm still a little sore from that good old work out they gave me a couple of weeks back on Glory. I've still got 'em on the cards, don't you worry about that."
Jennifer Corley: "Ok, good luck tonight in you match, Jack."
Lightning Jack: "Yeah cheers Jenny. No worries."
The camera zooms out as jack tries to stand up but forgets his hand is still in the machine. He crouches down and keep working on the problem as the scene cuts away.
Kyle Kirkson: Coming to the ring weighing in at 218 lbs. from Alice Springs, Australia. LIGHTNING JACK!
Lightning Jack walks to the ring, Oi! by his side. Rolls into the ring and plays to the crowd a bit.
Kyle Kirkson: And his opponant, weighing in at 245 lbs. from Seattle, WA. LUCAS JACKSON!
Lucas sprints down to the ring, slides under the bottom rope and gets right in Jack's face trying to stare him down.
The referee rings the bell and the match begins. Both men stand locked in a staredown before Lightning Jack makes the first move. Knee to the gut. Lucas doubles over. DDT to the mat.
Jack is back to his feet, leaps to the top turnbuckle and is off just as quickly, flying elbow right to the spine of Lucas Jackson. Lucas rears up in pain, as Jack once again gets to his feet.
Lucas slowly gets to his feet. Stares at Lightning Jack, anger and hatred seems carved into his face. Lucas comes at Jack, fists flying. Jack dodges them seemingly easily. Kick by Jack. Lucas catches his foot. enziguri by Jack.
Lucas is again down on his back. Lightning Jack comes off the rope, looking for a senton splash. Lucas rolls out of the way, and gets to his feet. Looking cocky he walks over to the downed Aussie. Lightning Jack nips up.
Now face to face with Lucas, armdrag into an extended armbar. Lucas reaches and grabs for the ropes trying to break the hold. Jack just cinches back that much tighter to keep Lucas at bay.
Lightning Jack finally releases him, and gets to his feet. Lucas remains on the canvas. Jack pulls him to his feet. throws him over his shoulder and brings him down with a shoulder breaker.
Lightning Jack almost seems disgusted by his opponent. Lucas not putting up much of a fight, but he makes an attempt to get to his feet. Crawling to the ropes to brace himself Lucas is finally once again in a standing position.
Lightning Jack makes a run for Lucas. Lucas sidesteps and Lightning Jack goes spearing right through the middle and top rope. landing at ringside. Lucas uses this pause in action for a much needed rest as Oi! walks over to the downed Jack. Sniffing him. Jack stirs a bit, raises his head and gives Oi! a playful scratch behind the ear.
Jack is back to his feet and getting into the ring, Lucas charging in. Lightning Jack sidesteps. Lucas runs straight into the turnbuckle and staggers back. Jack with a neckbreaker that levels Lucas, and all signs that Lucas is going to fight back. Jack drags Lucas to his feet, whips him into the opposite turnbuckle, follows him in. Monkey flip by Lightning Jack. To His feet again and making for the top turnbuckle. Lightning Jack off the top turnbuckle with a Shooting Star Press into a pin. The referee begins the count.
1...
2...
3...
Kyle Kirkson: Ladies & Gentlemen, the winner of this bout. LIGHTNING JACK!!!
Jack rolls out of the ring, and he and Oi! make their way to the backstage area as the crowd cheers wildly.
Keith: Um... We didn't say anything there.
Curly: Yeah, I know.
Keith: That's the sound of wrestling, and no announcers.
Curly: I wonder if that's how it will sound next week now that we won't be there.
Keith: Well, that was a sneak peek of what might happen next week.
Curly: But, let's give you guys what you deserve for the rest of the card, your last chance to hear this great voice.
Keith: Great voice? You sound like someone just inhaled Helium.
CurlY: So do you... But mine is better.
Keith: Well, let's just listen to Kyle Kirkson's voice right now...
Kyle Kirkson: Introducing to the ring, The Natural, MATT THORNHILL!!!
One of CWF's hardest workers comes out to the ring, and is getting the fans hyped up. As he is slapping hands, Kyle Kirkson comes back onto the microphone.
Kyle Kirkson: Matt... I am sorry, but you will not have a match tonight.
The camera goes to Thornhill who is upset, he is yelling "Why?"
Kyle Kirkson: I have just been informed that Curtis Mayhem is no longer with Championship Wrestling Federation!
The crowd goes nuts, and Matt Thornhill is saying that he can't believe it. Thornhill walks up the ramp, and is cursing.
Kyle Kirkson: WINNER OF THE MATCH BY SUMBISSION... MATT THORNHILL!
Thornhill is pissed off, and Lightning Jack and his dog "Oi!" walk out on stage.
Curly: Did this retard get lost?
