Destiny’s A Bitch

I pace wildly around the room, checking the time every few seconds. The note said that he would be here. That is the part I hate about this little affair - he decides when and where and lets me know. I am expected to show up, to be there without question. I hate it, but I love it at the same time. Just the knowledge that he is coming to me makes me feel like a caged animal - feral and wild. I am like this only with him, no other man has ever made me feel this... untamed.

I turn around to pace the room again and he is there, standing before me with a small smile on his face. I look at the door and then back at him. How long has he been watching me? When did he arrive? Why didn't I notice? I open my mouth to ask him these questions, but in one quick motion he has pulled me against him, kissing me hard. So that's the way it will be tonight, as it is most nights.

I kiss him back, arms sliding around his neck involuntarily, fingers tangling in his silky purple hair. His hands slide from my face to my waist to my hips, where he pulls me sharply against him, thrusting a leg between both of mine. I bit back a cry, and press myself closer against him, hating this, but needing it as badly as I need air to breath.

Somehow, I am pressed hard against the wall. I can feel every muscle in his body, they are all imprinted on my fingertips, I've touched them so many times. His hands run down my jean clad thighs to my knees, then back up again. Suddenly he has lifted me, pinning me against the wall, both legs between mine.

I can feel him, hard and ready, pressing against my thigh and I moan, thinking of what is to come and what has gone before. The kissing is hot and passionate, hands groping eagerly. I need him.

"Please." I whimper as his hands start massaging my breasts, my top somehow gone. I kiss his lips, his neck then the sensitive spot on his collarbone, the one that always makes him moan my name in passion. Now is no different and his hip buck forwards involuntarily, causing me to gasp his name in surprise.

He carries me towards the bed. I cling to him tightly, not wanting to ever be parted from him. He lays me gently on the bed and moves away from me, kissing my stomach. I lean up on my elbows and watch him remove his pants and shirt. I feast my gaze on his body, looking for new scars or bumps. His hands fumble hurriedly with my pants, working together we somehow remove them.

His body covers mine. There is no time wasted with foreplay except for a few kisses. I wrap my legs around his waist and he thrusts roughly into me. After a few seconds we begin moving together in a familar rhythm.

He nibbles at my neck, while I return attention to his collar bone. We are moving faster now, racing neck and neck towards the ectasy that only we can give each other. I clutch at his biceps and and arch towards him. By now we are both moaning and making noises of pleasure and I just pray that whoever is in the next room cannot hear us.

I cry out, pleading for release. He kisses me. A hard brutal kiss that will leave my mouth bruised and sore, but I

don't care. I scream his name, digging my nails in and leaving scratch marks as he thrusts one more time, sending me spiralling out of control.

We cling together, riding the wave of passion that lifts us high into the air and then cruelly dumps us heavily, clinging to each other. We break apart and lay side to side, breathing hard and recovering.

I get up and stand in front of a mirror. There is a large lovebite on my neck, accompanied by several small ones on

my right breast. Nothing that foundation won't hide. The real test will be hiding them from Matt.

As I think of Matt, my stomach turns. How can I do this to him? I love Matt, I cannot live without him, but I couldn't live without Jeff either. Hurridly, fighting back tears of guilt, I dress. Jeff senses something is wrong, getting up to stand behind me, resting his hand on my hips. I twist away from him, feeling sick.

"Lita." His voice is low and husky. I look up at him, tears spilling over. "I can't do this anymore Jeff. I just can't."

He smiles sadly at me. We've been through this before. The guilt gets the better of me, I call it quits. The notes will be ignored for a while - the longest I've held out is 3 weeks - then my need for Jeff will win out and I'll be back in his arms and in his bed.

"If that's the way you feel about it." He dresses silently, watching me as I attempt to hide the marks of our lovemaking. I look at the scratches on his arms and wonder what excuse he'll come up with. He finishes dressing and looks at me for a long minute, deciding whether or not to say something. He decides not to, and leaves without another word.

The sobs that have been held back rip forth as my legs give out from underneath me. I curl up on the cold floor and ask myself why? Why did I sleep with Jeff so soon after meeting him? Why did I meet Jeff before Matt? If I hadn't slept with Jeff before meeting Matt would I have slept with him at all? Why me?

I remember conversations with Matt about the meaning of life. "Everything happens for a reason. Destiny." Matt said, grinning at me. It's all Destiny huh Matt? Then Destiny is a bitch and I'm just her plaything.

I watch him sleeping. He looks so soft and gentle when he's sleeping, without the bitter sneer that usually mars his beautiful feautures. He's got this raw animal sex appeal that leaves me short of breath with just a look. I don't know what it is I feel for him - I know it's not love, but I need him so much it scares me.

I run a hand over his face and hair. He has the most beautiful hair, I love running my fingers through it. His hands are another thing I love about him. They can be so brutal and they can be incredibly gentle. As I said, I don't love him. There is someone else in my life who I love very much. I feel guilty cheating on him, but my lover is irrestable. Believe me, I've tried.

There is something about him that amazes me. It's not just sex - although that is always mind blowing - but just the way he instinctively knows what I need, whether it's a hug, a good laugh or a cry, and he'll always adjust his mood to compliment mine. He's not a doormat, not by any stretch of the imagination.

The sex is just incredible. No man has ever turned me on the way he does. Just a word can send a chill down my spine. The lightest touch can have me craving more. I don't know how the hell he does it, but I'm not complaining.

He wakes and pulls me down beside him, kissing me lightly. Our time together has been light hearted - watching some silly movies and a pillow fight. I've needed it too after all the bullshit that's been happening lately.

We lay together for a while. Just the feel of his body against mine makes me feel complete. I crave him when we've been apart for too long. Suddenly he leaps out of bed pulling on a pair of jeans and one those glittery shirts I hate so much.

"I have a meeting with your father in about 10 minutes." he explains, hopping around on one foot as he tries tying the laces on the other. He kisses me on the cheek. "I'll be in touch ok?"

"Fine aboandon me." I pout, trying not to laugh as he does just that. I wait till he leaves before getting dressed and heading for the arena. On arrival at the arena, I run into Lita in the women's dressing room, trying frantically to cover up several large lovebites. "Heya Steph."

"Hey Lita. Get hit in the neck with a hockey stick?" I tease. Lita glares at her reflection. Despite half a bottle of foundation they're still visible. "So what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Destiny's a bitch." she snaps, throwing the foundation at the wall and stalking out.

I think about that statement. God she's right. If Destiny is the reason I'm married to Hunter, in love with Kurt and having passionate sex with Chris, then I couldn't agree more. Not only is Destiny a bitch, she also has a sick sense of humour.

Part Three

I pace round the room anxiously. What the hell am I doing here? I should know better. I *do* know better. That part of my life is over and done with. I've put it all behind me. So why am I pacing around a cheap hotel room waiting for him to show up?

There's a light tap at the door. "Let me in."

Hands trembling, I unlock the door. It's too late now, I'm past the point of no return. He pushes past me, sitting himself on the bed. I raise an eyebrow. This is not why I'm here.

There's an uncomfortable silence, then he begins to talk. He tells me about his problems, not looking for sympathy or advice just letting it all out. One of his problems has always been his inability to vent.

Listening to him talk, I realise that despite all outwards appearances he is still the same man I once loved. The revelation surprises me. I feel I can honestly say I know him better than anyone, to discover that like the rest of the world I got sucked in is disconcerting.

I wonder what my boyfriend would say if he knew I was here and who with. He'd this the roof. He trusts me, but he gets jealous easily, especially ash far as the person I'm with now is concerned. He finds it hard to believe that that after all the history, I can easily put him in the past. At the moment, I'm having a little trouble believing it myself.

He finishes speaking and sighs. I don't know what to say to him. The magnitude of his problems is far more than I can deal with. Instead of speaking, I sit next to him and wrap my arms around him, pulling him close as a warning bell goes off in my head. Seconds later he kisses me.

Instinctively I kiss him back, running my fingers through that gorgeous hair of his. We kiss for a few minutes, before he slides a hand under my top. His cold skin on my warm waist jolts me back to reailty.

"No." I push him away, standing up and pacing around the room again. "I *knew * this was a bad idea. Jesus christ Hunter what the fuck were you thinking?"

"Maybe I wasn't thinking at all." he replies. His voice is calm, but his eyes are flashing at me. For some reason I'm pressing all the right buttons to ignite his short fuse and he knows it.

"Chyna, I didn't come here to fight."

"Then why did you come here? To cheat on Stephanie? You know an eye for an eye and all that?"

"Fuck no! Look I'm sorry. It's just that.. well.. I've missed you OK? You were the most important thing in my life for years and then you weren't there at all. It was hard to adjust to. I asked you to come here because I wanted to talk to you."

I feel incredibly bad. I've been missing Hunter too - like he said, we were the most important thing in the others life for years then suddenly, our lives had nothing to do with each other anymore. It takes a bit of dealing with.

We talk a little more and I can't help but remember the man I fell for. Before we part, he kisses me on the cheek and a long forgotten feeling flutters through me. Could I be falling in love with Hunter all over again? Did I ever stop loving him in the first place? The thoughts make me feel ill as I drive back to the arena.

I love Eddie, I can say that without hesitation. Oh god I'm so confused!

At the arena I literally run into Lita storming out of the womens locker room. Inside I ask Stephanie "What's with her?"

"Passionate sex with one man, in love with another." She replies, frowning at her reflection. "How are you at braiding?"

"Fairly good." I stand behind her and start messing around with Stephanie's hair. I guess this is where I should explain something - all the women get along fairly well. Because we're outnumbered by the men, we stick together. The last person who copped an attitude with the other women was out, very quickly. "So - Lita's in a love triangle?"

"Aren't we all?"

"Well in your case kiddo, I think it's more of a square."

"Oh god, who told you that?"

"Your husband."

"Oh fuck." I finish her hair and she admires it in the mirror. "I love it, thanks Chyna."

"No problem." I grin at her. "In the case of Stephanie's Heart and Hormones vs Marriage vows and the Right Thing the court would like to hear what the accused has to say in her defense?"

"Easy." Stephanie throws a hair brush into her bag. "Destiny is a bitch with a sick sense of humour."

The door slams shut behind her & I smirk at my reflection. There are not a lot of things that Steph and I agree on, but for the first time I believe that she has never spoken a truer statement. Destiny is a bitch.