Introduction
The Zgang has been invited to participate in a Poetry Contest and only Vegeta, Trunks, Goku and Piccolo decided to enter it (don't ask me why them and not the others...). I'll be the judge, totally impartial for sure, eh eh!!! So here we go!!
Trunks - Hmm, ok. So… Roses are red, violets are not. I have purple hair, and it's driving you nuts. I know you're drooling, 'coz I got the best butt. Don't mind to faint, I know I'm just too hot. Thanks.
The crowd remains silent, even Val. A moment passes and the air itself is getting embarrassed. Finally, Trunks leaves the stage and goes back to his seat. Val, totally discouraged, takes the micro and looks who's next.
Val - Hmm.. After that… Huh… Poem… We'll hear a sure good one, Vegeta's! Let's go, Veggie! Let's…
Vegeta - Shut up, you brat! What's the problem of everybody calling me stupid nicknames?! Now, you all listen at me, I'll only read it once and after that I'll blast the sheet.
He crosses his arms and fixes the sheet as he begins to tell his poem.
Vegeta - There was nothing like that on Vegeta-sei. That planet is a freaking one when it happens. It's getting darker each day. The coldness around is even worse than mine. Then it comes out of the sky as a sly enemy. I can't do anything against that despite all my power and might. My woman says I should get use to it now. But every time it happens all I want is to quit. Leaving behind that horrible world forever. 'Coz it's really getting too cold. At the damned fucking wintertime.
He leaves the stage, blasting the sheet. Noticing that nobody applaudes, he raises an eyebrow with anger and people starts cheering for him, although nervously. Val swallows and takes the micro again.
Val - Hmm, that was just perfect, Vegeta-chan! I also hate winter, I know what you mean. I'm sure you have the first place with that! (note : still perfectly impartial) Now, it's Goku's turn!
Goku - Oh, thanks! Oh, the micro… How does it work? Oh, it's already working. So where's my sheet? Ah, here it is! Hmm… What's that word? I can't read myself… Oh! Ok, here I go! Food, food, food. Fight, fight, fight. That's my life. So bye bye.
Goku smiles to the public, visibly very proud of himself. Chichi jumps onto the stage and starts hitting him with a big frying pan. Gohan and Goten are trying to hide, visibly embarrassed. Val finally stops laughing at all beat up Goku and takes the micro back.
Val - Thanks you, Goku! The message was clear and we all recognized you in it! And now, the last participant, Piccolo!
Piccolo - Thanks. Ode to Namek. It's a great planet, with great people. Everybody is peaceful and nobody wants to fight. They all look same and there's no racism. It's not like on Earth where people are closed-minded. They don't accept green guys with antennas like Nameks do. Earthlings are hurting people's feelings and don't care. Nameks are Earth's gods, they are just too good. Namek is the best planet ever, the Nameks are the best people ever. Earth sucks, so do Earthlings. Namek rules, so do Nameks. The end.
He leaves the stage, as all the Earthlings begin to boo him. Vegeta tells him that Saiya-jins are way better than Nameks are, but that he's right for the Earthlings' part. Bulma kicks him. Vegeta doesn't care. Chichi is still hitting Goku with her frying pan and gives some hits to Piccolo when he passes beside her. Gohan runs to him to ask if he's a part of the bad Earthlings. Val is trying to choose the winner. After an intense ten minutes of hitting on Trunks… I mean reflection, whatever… She goes on the stage and asks for the silence.
Val - So I'll first tell the fourth place! It's… Piccolo!
Piccolo - ONLY FOURTH?!? THAT'S RACISM AGAIN!! I'M OUTTA HERE, I GO BACK TO NAMEK-SEI!!!
Gohan - NOOOOOOOO!!!! Bring me with you, Piccolo-san!!
Chichi - GOHAN! Stay here!
Val - Hmm… Now, third place is for Goku.
Goku - Does it means I'm a loser?
Vegeta - Not more than usual.
Goku - Ok then.
Vegeta - Baka.
Val - And now, the second place goes to… TRUNKS!!! (note : perfectly impartial)
Trunks comes and kisses her on the cheek, visibly happy. As expected, Val starts drooling and faints. She comes back to reality about an hour later.
Val - Ok, Vegeta is first, congrats…
She throws the price to Vegeta and precipitately leaves with Trunks, as Vegeta starts to tell the people left (only Bulma) how great and superior he is… And stops when Bulma tells him that if he doesn't shut up he'll have to sleep on the couch for a month.
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